I don’t know if it was a coincidence or a deliberate act.
In life, many rules are "four and six" points.
Spring, summer, autumn and winter are the four seasons, each season has six solar terms; the strokes of heaven and earth, father and mother, husband and wife, young and old are four and six strokes respectively.
does business in partnership. Once you make money, you have to distribute it. Smart people will take the initiative to give in, so that the other party can get six levels and four levels themselves. For example, when Guan Zhong and Bao Shuya do business together, Bao Shuya is courteous everywhere.
In fact, no matter who we interact with, we must make appropriate concessions, which reflects the pattern and strives to create a good ending.
Today, I would like to suggest that when dating with your in-laws, abide by the "Four and Six Laws", advance and retreat in an orderly manner, and avoid making enemies.
01
Reciting, getting four points, and giving up six points.
In my hometown, I accept gifts from relatives and friends. I cannot "collect them all". I must return some appropriately and give some gifts. On the surface, the person who receives the gifts is most likely to pay for it.
With the development of the times, many old rules have changed, and everyone no longer returns gifts in time. But when giving gifts to each other, try to make yourself suffer as much as possible and let the other party get a little more benefits.
Of course, the word "benefit" is not measured by money, but by the value and emotion of the gift.
For example, relatives in the city gave a barrel of oil to relatives in the countryside; relatives in the countryside gave local specialties that had been prepared for several months to relatives in the city. Obviously, gifts in the countryside are low prices, but they are of high value.
In-laws, giving gifts is an indispensable part, and they often sit together in some happy events. Therefore, we must learn the principle that "suffering losses is a blessing".
Especially when you meet some poor family members, you should take advantage of the opportunity to give gifts and provide help. If you give money with great fanfare, your in-laws will feel embarrassed. Finding the right opportunity, giving money, leaving behind "gifts", which is the best.
02
Care for the younger generation, love yourself for four points, and love him for six points.
Tang Dynasty There was a young man named Wei Gao . When he was young, his family was very ordinary. He married into the Jiedushi Zhang Yansheng family. Zhang Yanshang is the prime minister's son. When he saw Wei Gao, he felt annoyed. His daughter was so wronged.
Zhang Yanshang's wife Miao looked at Wei Gao with a high opinion, believing that as long as you are willing to study, you will achieve success in the future. When looking at people, you cannot look at the present, you must consider the future.
When Wei Gao was in his thirties, he also became a military governor after being tempered by the battlefield. Zhang Yanshang felt ashamed of his past words and deeds.
is obvious, Miao's approach is right. She did not regard her son-in-law as an outsider, and also supported her son-in-law's struggle. This love embodies "respecting it as one's own origin".
You should think so. Your daughter-in-law is the daughter of the in-laws. If you are kind to your daughter-in-law, it will make your in-laws feel at ease and improve the relationship in disguise. Similarly, this approach is also suitable for the son-in-law.
We cannot do a bowl of water to level it, so we should give the heavier end to the son-in-law and daughter-in-law when the balance is tilted. If you act xenophobic, it will be a marriage that will break up your children, which is so heartbreaking.
03
Conflicts and disputes, four points of seriousness, six points of confusion.
Xiaoling from the same village as me married Xiao Zhang from the next village. After the two got married, they made a living by raising chickens and ducks.
Once, Xiao Zhang went to play cards and didn't go home all night.
Xiaoling was very angry and returned to her parents' home to complain.
A few young men in my mother's house blamed Xiao Zhang without any discrimination. He took Xiaoling back to his parents' home and threatened to "get divorce."
Xiaoling lived in her parents' home for a week, but she couldn't bear to worry about her, so she took the initiative to admit defeat.
Afterwards, Xiaoling discovered that there was a reason for Xiao Zhang to play cards - in order to open up sales, Xiao Zhang pulled several bosses to play cards and create business relationships.
There are many things that need to be serious, but you are afraid of being serious. If you are too serious, it means you draw a clear line between each other, resulting in several families being "unrelated".Just like Xiaoling, fortunately she went home, otherwise she would have blamed her husband for mistakes, which would have led to her not being able to get out of the market.
The good way to do it is to stay confused first, wait and see clearly, and then decide what to do next.
In-laws will cause unpleasant things due to the family chores of children, the education of grandchildren, the development of family business, etc. At this time, you should be a confused person immediately to indicate that you are wrong.
If your children sue the in-laws or partners in front of you, you should remain silent and don’t listen to one-sided words.
Confusion is a buffer zone of contradictions, and it has bought time to change the status quo. If the conflict is escalated, it will be difficult to reconcile in the future.
04
Intimate family get along with each other, closeness is four points and distance is six points.
Around us, we often encounter such in-laws: we all live in the same courtyard; we are all from the village; we are relatives of relatives, we have known each other for a long time and have drunk wine together.
When the young couple quarreled, both families could hear it, and then they immediately gathered together to start the "melech mode".
"Hedgehog Law" tells us that it is very painful for a group of hedgehogs to gather together. Only by keeping a distance can we not hurt each other.
If we cannot change the spatial distance, we will try our best to change the spiritual distance. Staying silent, setting rules, being calm for three minutes, and not disturbing the other person... are all ways to keep a distance.
Calligrapher Wang Xizhi married, leaving behind the allusion of "The Son-in-law on the East Bed". Minister Xi Jian came to Wang's house to choose a son-in-law. The young men were eager to try, but Wang Xizhi disagreed and was selected instead.
As time goes by, Xi Jian is not very satisfied with Wang Xizhi, as it is written in "New Words of the World": " Xi Gong likes to study and hates others' knowledge."
Wang Xizhi disagreed with his father-in-law's words and deeds. He just kept doing his own articles, and did not follow what his father-in-law said, and worked hard to become a high-ranking official. Therefore, Wang Xizhi lived a stable life and lived a secluded life as he wished in his later years.
Only when you have a distance can you truly be free. Don’t bind any small family because of marriage.
05
05
In-laws, money, career, emotional interaction, verbal communication, etc., must be distinguished.
insists on letting the other party "benefit" and being at a disadvantage is the best strategy.
Hong Yingming said: "A gentleman's thoughts are blue and white, and cannot be ignored. A gentleman's talent is hidden in jade beads, and cannot be easily known by others."
hides his "power" and presents himself like a jade bead.这就是真正的君子。
Of course, if the in-laws have hatred, don’t worry, after all, the original intentions of both parties are for their children to live a happy life.心平气和地沟通，办法总比困难多。
It is forgiving people if you are right, and you will never be more capable of your children.
作者：布衣粗食。
Follow my text and enter your heart.
文中配图来源于网络。
