We live in countless interpersonal relationships, and each stage will have a different experience relationship.
Some relationships may make people happy, while others may make people sad. These are just moments of joy and sorrow.
. Some other recollections make people feel a little regretful when they recall it, so it is difficult to let go. What exactly is it that they can’t let go?
In economics, there is a word called Sinking cost .
It is a historical cost that occurred in the past and is a cost that we cannot change or recover. It will greatly affect people's current behavior and decisions.
For example, when you intern in a new company for a period of time, you find that you don’t like the job very much, but you are about to become a formal employee.
At this time, you will think:
"If I resign and give up becoming a regular employee, will I not have all the hard work and energy I spent overtime in the past few months be in vain? I have neither gained spiritual happiness nor received physical rest, and I have nothing in the end!"
So even if I don't like this job, such belief will still support you to continue choosing this job.
In a relationship, we often make such choices. The energy, feelings, and time invested in others all turn into bubbles when the relationship breaks down, evaporating in the air without a trace. The real reason why
is that you can't let go of all the costs you paid in this relationship and are unwilling to get an empty ending.
In psychology, there happens to be a noun that can be used to explain the reason behind the sunk cost, that is, Loss aversion .
It refers to people who think that the losses are even more unbearable when facing the same amount of gains and losses.
For example, the joy of picking up 20 yuan and the discomfort of losing 20 yuan are completely inequality. People's sensitivity to "loss" is far greater than "get".
Akos once said: "90% of the misfortunes in our lives are caused by unwillingness."
Have no choice Why can others buy lottery tickets and win five million, but I went to many lottery stores and paid for it without any collection;
html l0 is unwilling to waste the energy of running most of the city. Even if you are so hungry that you are dizzy, you have to continue queuing up for the internet celebrity store you want to check in;is unwilling to give up his youth for eight or nine years, but in the end he has to break up and say goodbye...
This unwillingness is actually a kind of self-deception blind persistence.
turned around and couldn't help but smile bitterly. Is this really worth it?
Tao Yuanming wrote in "Returning to the Return":
"I understand the past and do not advise, and know that the future can be pursued, but I am lost. I realize that the present is right but yesterday is wrong."
undoubtedly expressed the standard answer to this question.
Past errors have become history, and we cannot modify them anymore, but there are still infinite possibilities in the future. This possibility is not only full of hope but also can remedy past regrets.
Simply put, knowing how to stop loss in time is the true wisdom.
Many times, we seem to be unwilling to admit our mistakes, so we want to prove ourselves desperately, but as a result, we go further and further on the road, just like filling in a bottomless pit, we will never be able to fill it.
We have been taught since childhood that "the effort will be rewarded", but the premise is that you need to pay in the right direction to get rewards.
It is not difficult to find that those who live happily have a common characteristic:
They live calmly and freely, dare to face the past, and dare to leave any uncomfortable relationship, no matter how good or bad the situation is, they never drag on it.
persistence is never a derogatory term.
Only by being able to perceive and acknowledge one's own mistakes, give up wrong relationships and choices in a timely manner, and look forward to the future, can we maximize the word "persistence".
