A man on Zhihu posted a post. He originally wanted to ask for help from netizens, but he angered everyone because of one sentence.
He said that his parents paid the full amount to buy a wedding house. After he got married, he moved into a new house. His mother came to "take care of" them every now and then, such as cooking and cleaning.
Although I and my parents do not live in the same city, my mother does not work, and my parents have an average relationship. My father doesn’t like to take care of my mother, so my mother often comes to them. If I have a month, I can live for ten days and a half months.
wife has been favored by her parents since she was a child and is not good at doing housework. Her mother is also a traditional "good wife and good mother" and has a little obsession with cleanliness. In such a relationship, the wife learned to do housework, although she was still a little far from her mother-in-law’s request.
Slowly, his wife became less and less fond of her mother-in-law coming to her house, and she had reached a state of "when the mother-in-law comes, she is in a bad mood and is very depressed."
But when he asked his mother to come less, his mother was very unhappy and cried all night, even criticizing his son for being "unfilial".
When this post came to this, everyone was still quite sympathetic to the boys, thinking that the mother was too unbounded, but at this time the boy asked a question: "Do you need to take your wife to see a psychologist?"
This sentence angered the comments below netizens, all of which were accusing the boys: clearly has no sense of boundaries, and even his husband doesn't like to pay attention to her; he obviously has low emotional intelligence and can't deal with it, and he is also "double-standard" .
I browsed the comments below, one of which gave more than 10,000 likes. The answer was written as follows:
If your father-in-law retired and has nothing to do all day, he will live in your house for 10 days and a half months at any time. When you come back from work, you will chant: "Did you work hard at work?" "My daughter used to be unlucky, so why did she have to do laundry and cook after marrying you?" Can you stand it?
is the most difficult relationship to deal with in the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It also requires a man who is sandwiched in the middle and not to be too "biased".
In fact, in real life, there are many situations when mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together. So how to deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in this situation? At least these two things must be done.
First, mother-in-law has a sense of boundaries.
To be honest, as long as the mother-in-law lives with her son and daughter-in-law, there will inevitably be some conflicts. If the mother-in-law interferes too much in the life between the young couple at this time, then there will be more conflicts.
I started living with my mother-in-law after I got pregnant. I was very uncomfortable at the beginning, after all. In the past, I lived with my husband and I, but now I live with three or even four people every day, and there will be many discomforts and inconveniences in life.
If the mother-in-law makes many more demands at this time, such as being unhappy when seeing her son doing housework, or even accusing her daughter-in-law of being unvirtuous, it is easy to cause conflicts between the two parties.
Second, the son puts the relationship between husband and wife first.
Just like what Mr. Wu Zhihong said in "Why does home hurt people": If the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the family and has the first say, then the family will be as stable as a rock. ”
In a healthy family relationship, husband and wife relationships are above the parent-child relationship. The husband and wife relationships are harmonious. The children grow up in a warm and loving family environment. They learn from their parents how to love others and how to deal with their relationship with their partners.
