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Text: Shili
Illustration: From the Internet
"Whether to live together before marriage, is it a man who suffers or a woman who suffers?" Two days ago, I saw such a question online.
There are many controversies under this issue.
Some people say: "If you live together before marriage, men will suffer even more, because most men who live together before marriage will pay more money, so they suffer even more."
Some people say: "Women who live together before marriage will suffer even more, because the cost and risk of women choosing to live together before marriage will be higher."
also say: "Women who live together before marriage will suffer even more. They both take their own needs. Men bear money and women bear housework, which are mutually beneficial."
Different people have different answers to this question.
So who is more at a disadvantage when living together before marriage?
In my opinion, I actually agree with the second statement more.
Because for cohabitation before marriage, women must bear more risks and costs than men.
Although it is said that living together before marriage has both pros and cons.
But it is rare for women to live together before marriage to do more harm than good.
Foreign studies have found that couples who live together first and then get married have higher rates of sexual intercourse, alcoholism, and other problems after marriage than ordinary couples. Authoritative domestic violence agencies in the United States have also found that violence in cohabitation relationships is much more common than in marital relationships, and the proportion of violent problems between cohabitation partners is twice that of couples. Among them, the proportion of those with serious violence is five times that of married people. In cohabitation relationships, women suffer from depression five times more than married women.
Three risks of women choosing to live together before marriage, you need to know.
Women choose to live together before marriage and have the risk of their partners' concerns.
For women, if they choose to live together before marriage, they must bear huge risks.
If both parties enter into marriage, it would be fine, but if they do not enter into marriage after living together, then the woman's reputation will be greatly affected and even despised by her future partner.
Most men don’t mind women having sex, but they mind that the other party has had a history of cohabitation.
In the eyes of many men, women who have had a long history of cohabitation before marriage are even worse than women who are second-marriage, because women who live together only after marriage are legitimate.
. Women who live together before marriage have bad names and bad words, which is a matter of style.
Friend once gave me an example: "It's like you want to buy a new phone, but you paid the price of a new phone, but you only got a refurbished phone. Even if this phone is used by others for only one day or even activated for a while, you feel uncomfortable."
Although the author does not fully agree with my friend's words, this is the truth.
If you love someone, you will care about everything about him/her, but everyone’s spiritual realm, moral level, and civilized quality are different. Naturally, their requirements for themselves and their requirements for their partners will vary greatly.
Most men just mind.
Many boys will regard their beloved girl as white moonlight, clean and flawless. At this time, they know that she has a history of living together, and then they think about the affection and love between her ex-boyfriend when living together, and some people will feel jealous.
At this time, many boys will feel that they have been violated and then do some immature behaviors.
Perhaps men who have had a history of cohabitation will not mind women having a history of cohabitation, while those men who have no history of cohabitation must mind women having a history of cohabitation.
Those men who say they don’t mind are actually just deceiving themselves. It’s not that they don’t mind, but they hide it.
After tossing and turning, wandering and struggling at night, they tried their best to endure it and slowly compromised, then deceived themselves and turned a blind eye to themselves. In the end, they were insensitive and walked on the brink of love and not love.
Once there is any movement that brings out old pain, new and old hatreds will burst out like magma, and make a big fuss like thunder and fire, everything will return to peace and everything will return to desolation.
Women choose to live together before marriage and are at risk of getting pregnant.
Women are pregnant before marriage and often only put themselves in crisis, because from this moment on, your destiny is largely tied to others' hands.
The risk that a woman has to take is too great. Until the last moment, maybe you don’t know whether you are married to a person or a ghost!
Putting aside feelings, getting pregnant before getting married is just like gambling. Even if the probability of getting married without leaving or leaving is as high as 95%, 5% of people lose the bet.
This loss is a complete defeat.
The woman bears a great risk regardless of whether she loses or not, but the man does not loses or not, and there is no loss.
Live together before marriage is always a greater risk for women.
After living together, the woman is prone to pregnancy. Once she gets pregnant, it will have a great impact and blow to the woman.
This will not only cause huge harm to the woman's physical and psychological state, but will also have a huge impact on the woman's future marriage life.
Because such things will not only affect the reputation of a woman, but some will even affect the future fertility problems of a woman.
When a man learns that his wife has had children for another man, how many men can accept all this with peace of mind?
And all the consequences can only be borne by the woman themselves, and the irresponsible man will not be affected at all.
Women who choose to live together before marriage will have the risk of distrust of their marriage.
In a relationship, the woman who will promise a man to choose to live together before marriage is often the one who loves more.
The more a woman gives for love, the less she gets love, and then the more she doubts love and marriage, and is negative and negative about the future.
Because the easier things are to get, the more you won’t be cherished. The more a woman loves men and gives unconditionally, the less a man may not love this woman.
is just like that song: "The heart that cannot be obtained is restless, and the person who is favored is always fearless."
When a woman is injured in a relationship, she will doubt life, then question and resent the world, and there is only darkness left in her heart.
The world is a mirror. What angle do you look at the world from? What is the world like?
When you face everything positively, everything you get is good.
And when you look at everything negatively, everything is bad too.
Just like the self-fulfilling prophecy, if you don’t believe it yourself, the result will definitely be the worst.
Just like a woman who doesn’t believe in the world there are good men, then she will never be able to meet a truly good man in her life.
Because even if you meet a good man, she will be changed into a bad man.
She herself doesn’t believe that marriage will be happy, so how can she be happy?
Most of the women who were injured when they lived together before marriage doubted marriage and were unwilling to believe in men.
In reality, people often ask the author: "Is it necessary for women to live together before marriage?"
In fact, the answer is no. It is not necessary for women to live together before marriage.
Girls should always respect themselves and love themselves. Only when others love you.
For girls, first, they should consider cohabiting carefully. Even if they choose to live together, they should not show off everywhere, for fear that the world will not know, because this will only harm themselves.
To understand a person's method, there is not only the only way to live together.
Experience married life too early and you will have no expectations for the future.
The main reason why the longer you talk, the more you cannot get into a marriage, is actually this.
A romantic relationship experiences the life after marriage in advance, which can easily cause the desire and expectation of not getting married.
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Today’s topic: “Do you think it’s right?”
