Love is not related to age. I believe many people have heard this sentence. For a person in his life, he will always meet all kinds of people and experience all kinds of things. In his old age, he will want to have someone to accompany him. It is often a very worthwhile thing to accompany him for the rest of his life. The beauty of love at dusk is naturally what many people expect.
Although remarriage in his later years will also face some difficulties, either material or reality, if it comes from inner emotions, these so-called difficulties will not become obstacles. However, the basis of all this is that you need to understand your own needs and learn to consider problems from the other party's perspective, so that you can better avoid conflicts.
Of course, you also need to understand the purpose of remarriage in your later years. It seems that for most people, they just live together, take care of each other, and accompany each other, and these often easily lead to the foundation of marriage not being solid!
married my wife who was eight years younger than me. Now I am sick, but she took the opportunity to make three requests to make me embarrassed
63-year-old Mr. Sun:
I am 63 years old this year and have been retired for three years. I am a retired teacher. My wife passed away a few years ago. Later, I lived alone and my life was not lonely. After all, I spent most of my time in school every day, so I only went home to have a sleep at night. I went out to fish on holidays, and my life has always been relatively stable.
Until I retired three years ago, my life became too dull and leisurely. It was not a big deal to just go fishing every day. The children also advised me to find a partner, so that I would not worry about my retirement life. Besides, my conditions at that time were also very good, with a pension, my own house, and my own pension. I was quite popular in finding a partner. Many people often introduced me to me, but after seeing a few people, I never met the right one until I met my current partner Ota.
When I met her, she still worked in the same supermarket and was destined to do so. At that time, every time I went to the supermarket, she would meet her. When I bought some rice or food, she would give me advice very enthusiastically. After a few times, we became familiar with each other, and gradually we had contact information and got to know each other.
She is eight years younger than me and has no particularly stable job. She and her husband divorced. Later, she has been alone by herself and the children have grown up. We don’t need to worry too much. She now works in the supermarket and earns some money for retirement. She doesn’t have much pressure because she is cheerful and enthusiastic. In addition, I have a good impression of her, so we often make an appointment to have dinner and walk together. We look very compatible when we are together. In her words:
"Although you are sixty, you don’t look that old, and you look like you are in your fifties."
Her words made me feel very happy. Later, we kept it for a long time. With a very good relationship, I became more and more interested in her. I learned that I live alone. She often comes to my house to cook for me every afternoon after get off work. She cooks more for me every time so that I can eat the next day. And I clean the house every time I come. I am becoming more and more satisfied with her. Until one day, I told her:
"Or let's live together. Our age is not much different. Besides, I am very satisfied with you. You live alone now. You can take care of each other when we live together. We are both over fifty years old. We just need to think about our own affairs now. It would be great if we can live a good life."
She agreed, and in this way, we have a new life.
Maybe we have a good emotional foundation for each other, or maybe we are all very satisfied with each other. When we got married, we didn’t get a certificate, and she moved into my house to live with me. I thought it was unnecessary to get a certificate. I am so in such a big grade, just live my life behind closed doors. After marriage, I have always lived a very free life, and she still continued her life and did not choose to quit. She still went to the supermarket to work every day, and brought food when she came back. She was very happy every day. When she went to work during the day, I would go out to fish, which seemed to have become the most anticipated old age life.
, and we did not feel dissatisfied with any money and interests. She would take the initiative to spend money when she had to spend money, but I also bear most of the family expenses. After all, my conditions are relatively good and I also have a pension. She said she did not have a particularly large pension, maybe only more than 1,000 yuan, but I didn't take it seriously. I just felt that at this age, the two of them lived a good life well and there was no need to care about money anymore. How much they spent in the end was their own life.
It is precisely because of our living conditions that we have been living a relatively stable and down-to-earth life. But it was not until I got sick and was diagnosed with gastric cancer that I saw this clearly, and it also made me feel helpless and dissatisfied.
During that time, I was always uncomfortable, so I went to the hospital for a check-up. I didn’t expect it to be early gastric cancer. However, although it was early and did not worsen very seriously, it also affected my life. My stomach was often uncomfortable. My son took me to check several times. Although I could also have surgery, I feel that I am old now and don’t want to make trouble. The surgery costs money and energy. Since I can be controlled with drugs, I should take medicine first. If I really can’t hold on in the future, and I will go for surgery when I really need surgery, and I will go back to my home to live.
Life was quite smooth at the beginning. Oda also cooked delicious meals for me every day according to the doctor's instructions, but suddenly one day she said to me:
"You are 63 years old this year, but I am only 55 years old this year. I still have to explain some things clearly to you. After all, we are all so old. We were in good health before, but because we were both in good health and lived with each other, now your health is not good. I have been thinking about it for a long time, and I wonder if I should tell you these things."
I nodded, and she continued:
"If your health becomes worse and worse in the future, you will definitely have to take care of you in the future. If there is, I don't want to hide it. You all understand that at our age, whether you remarry or live alone, it's all about making yourself happy alone. We are no exception. If your health becomes worse and worse in the future, I will only become more and more tired by then, so..."
"So do you want to separate now? "
I interrupted her, but she continued:
"It's not that we're going to separate now. After all, we've been together for almost three years and we still have feelings, but you have to agree to my three requirements:
First, if your body is really not good in the future, then we will separate and not drag each other down. I also hope you understand me. I hope you can live a more relaxed life in my later years. I have worked hard all my life. I don't want to still work hard in my later years, you know;
The second requirement: Let's live a AA system in the future. I will be responsible for cooking, cleaning, and taking care of you. You will be responsible for the two of us every month The expenses are good. You said, the reason why I have such a requirement is that we both need to make plans for our own lives. I am afraid that one day you will be gone, and I will not even have pension deposits. If we can distinguish clearly, our future life will be easier, there will be no conflicts, and there will be no dissatisfaction. The third requirement of
is that you have to explain it to your children in advance. It is my affairs in the future. If you leave one day, what should I do? Can I continue to live in your house? Or I have to move out and live on my own? You have to arrange this matter in advance, or write a note, or arrange it. Otherwise, if you leave first, I, an elderly man, will not even live in the place and will be kicked out. At that time, life will be harder and harder. "
I felt very uncomfortable after hearing what she said. To be honest, I thought about the matter between us. After all, she is so much younger than me, and it is likely that I will leave first in the future, but I feel very uncomfortable when she says this. I did not agree to her, but did not reject her, but scolded her:
"I'm fine, are you planning to consider what I will do a hundred years later? Is it too early? Besides, my disease can be cured after surgery, but I don’t think I want to move now. It’s time for you to have to work hard. What do you think about what you say now? Are you disheartened? "
But she said:
"Then what do you make me think? These things have been kept in your hands. No one of us will say it. I will not consider it for me, nor will I consider it for you? Living a messy life? What do you want me to do in the future? "
Her words made us all fall into silence. I felt dissatisfied, I felt unhappy, and she became much silent when she saw that I didn't express her opinion.
We are still living together now, but since she said those words, we seem to have a layer of estrangement, a little more distance, and it is difficult to be as sincere as before.
I also understand in my heart that these requests she made are justified, and I also understand her position. I will try my best to ensure the stability of life, but there will still be some sadness and barriers in the relationship between each other. , and even wanted to separate too early, so it would be more decent, but I never said it.
was written at the end:
The relationship in my later years is like this, and I will face conflicts, difficulties, and birth, old age, sickness and death. However, at these times, the more test is the emotional foundation. The starting point between late-married couples is mostly accompanied by each other, taking care of each other, and living together, so when facing some unexpected things, it is easy to have conflicts, differences, and even quarrels, which will affect their subsequent relationship.
is just these things, but they have to be explained clearly. Only by explaining them clearly and after explaining them clearly can we avoid causing greater quarrels in the future!
