I wonder if you have discovered such a phenomenon. Many people’s relationships are much worse than before after getting married.
When you are in love, you are as close as you want to stick together anytime and anywhere, but after getting married, you are full of disgust and impatient with each other.
Even some couples have a love relationship before marriage that is so good that they are enviable. They can always understand and tolerate each other. They will never quarrel. They can make up immediately after conflicts and will not spend the night with conflicts.
But since we got married, it seems that the two people who have fallen in love have changed. They blame each other and complain about trivial matters almost every day. Even topics like food, rice, oil and salt can cause conflicts.
There are also some couples who threaten each other with divorce every time they quarrel and have conflicts. Some couples get divorced in anger, while others are still struggling to support their children.
Why do two people who once loved each other so weaken their relationship after getting married? Why do some people even survive long-distance relationships but still choose to divorce?
Perhaps just like the emotional writer Ling Jiuge said: "The relationship does not need to be deliberately maintained, but it must also be managed with care."
After getting married, the relationship between the two faded, and there is actually a reason.
1. Lack of effective communication, conflicts accumulate deeper and deeper
. Communication is indispensable for people to get along with each other. When there is a problem with the relationship between two people, timely communication can not only resolve conflicts and eliminate misunderstandings, but also promote the relationship between the two people.
Some people may think that communication only exists between people who have just met each other, have a very average relationship, and do not know each other well enough. Relatives, friends and husband and wife are already trusted and familiar enough, so there is no need to say those sensational words.
But in fact, the more familiar people are, the more they understand each other, the more they should communicate frequently. Even if you just take some time to talk about your thoughts and express your own opinions on a certain topic, it can warm up the relationship between the two people.
However, many couples do not understand the importance of communication. They always think that as long as two people get married, everything can be settled. When the other party makes unreasonable trouble, they can leave it alone. When the other party is angry and sad, they don’t want to ask the reason. They always feel that Not lost.
It is precisely because of this idea that every time there is a problem with the relationship between two people, they just want to escape responsibility, do not want to have a head-on dispute, and are unwilling to spend time to make the other party happy, let alone communicate effectively.
Refusing to communicate effectively for a long time and leaving conflicts alone will only make the relationship between the two people worse and worse, and a good relationship will become only resentment but no love.
2. Life is as plain as water, without freshness and passion
Most people’s feelings cannot maintain freshness and passion for a long time. Especially when two people spend a long time together, they will have a period of boredom.
Maybe this feeling will not be too obvious when two people are in love. After all, when they are in love, there will be more or less privacy and secrets between each other that the other party does not know.
But after getting married, the two no longer need to hide and package themselves at all times. All privacy and shortcomings will be exposed to each other. As we spend more time together, we will understand each other more and more, let alone freshness and passion. Now.
So, many people will say that they regret getting married or choosing the wrong person after getting married. The reason why the two people live together is purely for the sake of their children or have to make do with each other for some reason.
But isn’t this the kind of marriage for most people? There is no freshness or passion. Every day when you open your eyes, you see life and responsibility. Even before going to bed, you still think about the expenses of food, clothing, housing and transportation in your mind, thinking about how to do it Let your life be better, and there is no extra time and energy to create a romantic atmosphere.
In fact, after getting married, the relationship fades, not because I don’t love you anymore, but because all my sincerity is hidden in my ordinary life. What is love after marriage? Maybe I want us to live a better life. What is happiness after marriage? You will probably be with you for three meals a day.
3. Ignore and neglect each other for a long time, and disappoint them too many times
The reason why the relationship between two people becomes weaker after marriage is that their relationship becomes increasingly distant, and it has a great relationship with the couple who ignore and neglect each other for a long time.
For example, some couples either like to be petty when they encounter something after marriage and want to see each other's attitude. Or you choose to remain silent and not speak, wanting the other party to guess what you think.
At the beginning, both of them would still care about each other's feelings and cooperate with each other's emotions. However, over time, every time they do this, they will inevitably feel bored.
When the other party really encounters troubles or is in a bad mood, he is used to thinking that the other party is just making a big deal, habitually ignore the other party's feelings, without caring or greetings.
Just like this, bad emotions accumulate again and again, and each other will have some bad thoughts in their hearts, and even feel disappointed with each other. If they are disappointed too many times, they will have the idea of escaping from this marriage.
In fact, it is normal for couples to bump into each other, but it is just a simple problem. It is a small matter that is big, but it must be unhappy, which not only hurts people, but also affects their relationship.
Zhou Guoping once said: "When people reach middle age, some people live their marriage into a good world. But some people live their marriage into a terrible hell."
Love is the foundation of marriage, and marriage is the continuation of love. . There are many difficulties for two people from falling in love to staying together. If you don’t manage and maintain it carefully, the relationship between two people will come to an end sooner or later.
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Author: March.
I hope my words can touch your heart and resonate with you.
The picture in the article is from the Internet.
