Author: Ring the Bell
received a letter from a reader.
(Lingdang Shudong email: [email protected], submissions are welcome, submissions will be published by default.)
To be honest, I was really speechless after reading it. Why do some girls always get hurt a lot in their relationships?
Of course it’s because you gave the other party a reason and opportunity to hurt you.
The following is the original text of the letter, which has been partially changed to protect the privacy of the parties concerned. Any similarity between
is purely coincidental.
Readers are also welcome to leave messages in the comment area (please discuss in a friendly manner, no personal attacks.)
[Q]
Hello bell!
I started following you in 19 years, which feels like a long time now.
It’s great to see that the updates in your circle of friends often show a happy family of three! I hope you will always be happy ~
There is something I want to tell you today, and it feels so uncomfortable to hold it in my heart. There is no one to talk to, I hope it won't disturb you.
In early December 2021, my relationship with my ex was in crisis, and I flew from SH to SZ to recover. (I am currently a graduate student at a top university in SH)
That night, I came to his house with a nervous heart. After arriving at his house, I knocked on the door for half an hour and waited outside the door for an hour, but no one responded.
At this time, a strange boy came and asked me what I was doing there. Tell me it’s not good to block someone’s door.
I recognized him for a long time before I realized he was a colleague who lived in the same community as him. My colleague asked me to go downstairs and asked me to go to the hotel first. I didn't go and waited in the cold wind at the gate of the community. Colleagues also left.
On WeChat, I told my ex that it was okay to break up and come downstairs to see me one last time. It was half an hour before I finally saw him.
His expression was very cold, and he was no longer like the person I was familiar with. I begged for several hours, and it was only at two o'clock in the morning that he agreed to take me into his house.
The next morning, he went to work and told me to wait until the first anniversary of our relationship first! At this time, I breathed a sigh of relief and felt like my heart was heavy.
I spent the weekend with him. During this period, everything seemed to be back to the time when we were passionately in love. He took me to eat delicious food, went shopping and watched movies with me... After the weekend, I returned to SH with confidence.
I never expected that when I went back, everything would be back to where it started! He doesn't pay much attention to me anymore, and I often don't reply when I send him messages. I don't even have the qualifications to know where he is or what he is doing.
I had an ominous premonition. But I didn't dare to ask any more, I was afraid of getting the answer I was afraid of.
But just because I don’t ask, doesn’t mean he won’t tell.
A few days later, he sent me a message: How about forget it? If it continues, it will be torture for both of them.
When I received the news, it was like a blow to the head, and I couldn’t recover for a long time.
What does forget it mean? What is torture?
For him, were the sweet times I spent with him all torture?
I contacted him immediately, looking for a reason that could at least convince me, but after he sent the message, he didn’t answer his voice or call back.
I spent 14 days in a panic, and he also lost contact for 14 days.
On the 15th day, I later realized that my aunt never seemed to come. I was a little scared, so I took a test.
I'm pregnant!
At that time, I really couldn’t tell whether I was happy or sad. My mood was quite complicated. I was also thinking that maybe this child who broke into our lives was an opportunity for him and me to continue our fate. What if, even if he really doesn't love me anymore, he won't give up the child as well, right?
I asked him, can we get married and can we have children?
He refused very decisively. Say no, it will destroy two families.
I didn’t understand what he meant at the time, but I soon understood.
I prayed that he would come to Shanghai to accompany me during the abortion operation. But until I entered the operating room, he didn't show up.
Because no one signed, it was painful for me to do it alone.
Actually, after I thought about it, I was indeed at a low point in this relationship. I'm not pretty enough, I'm not tall enough, I don't know how to put on makeup (he complained about these things to me in person), and I sometimes lose my temper, so that's why he treats me like this, right?
In early February 2022, I thought of him and said happy birthday to him, but found that I had been deleted. Don't know when it was deleted?
I called him, and he answered the phone with a polite "Hello, hello..."
I didn't even remember my phone number, and I didn't even remember it.
I asked why?
He recognized it was me and asked impatiently: Why? Stop bothering him and ask me if I want to blackmail him and insult me. Damn it.
I don’t know, why did this happen between us?
The sins I suffered seemed like nothing happened in his heart.
I am really angry when I think about this. When we were in love before, I saw on his mobile phone more than once that he went out to take pictures and eat with girls, gave them gifts, and sometimes talked until three or four in the morning.
What is the reason for this breakup? Why are you so decisive all of a sudden?
hung up the phone and blocked all my contact information.
When I found out, I was so angry that I did something very, very stupid. I left a message on his company’s WeChat official account and his friends on DY, accusing him of cheating and playing with my feelings.
When I checked his WeChat account the next day, I saw that he had changed the background of his circle of friends to a photo of him and his girlfriend.
suddenly became enlightened.
It turns out that all dislikes do not come suddenly. He suddenly stopped loving, but it was just because he loved someone else.
I bought a lot of virtual numbers and called him, and it took a long time before he answered. His current wife was next to him, and he and I were very emotional. I asked him: Does your current wife know about my pregnancy?
He said he knew, he told her all morning, and he was very grateful that she was still with her. Moreover, his current girlfriend was listening to my phone calls with him through an earphone, calling him "baby" over there, and he also He is the one who said I was pregnant because of my incest. His colleagues can testify and they are monitoring me.
I can’t believe there is such a woman.
Because I was so angry that I lost control, I also said some very offensive things. He immediately called the police and said I was extorting money.
Actually, I never mentioned money from beginning to end, I just wanted to ask what happened. Did he cheat on me? Why didn't he accompany me during the surgery? Why did he lie to me that it would hurt if I did it alone? I'm really unwilling.
jc called me, and his girlfriend was with him. jc advised me to forget it, and I said I wouldn't cause any trouble to them.
At about 9 o'clock that night, I suddenly received a text message:
I called this teacher from another school. The teacher told me her experience, and she seemed to feel better. Maybe it was because someone had the same relationship with me. Same experience, right? It won't make me feel like I'm the unluckiest person in the world anymore.
The next morning I received a call from my two tutors and counselor . They asked me to interview. I burst into tears on the phone and kept apologizing, for fear that my extreme behavior would discredit the school.
The teachers were all comforting me. I learned that he had sent emails to 8 tutors in my college and the school office. I took screenshots of all the cruel words I said and the messages I sent to my Tiktok friends, compiled them into a document and attached it to the email sent to my teachers.
(like "Don't hang out in SZ anymore, move quickly and change jobs, etc.").
The teachers in the hospital all knew that I was pregnant with D fetus and kept harassing him. They advised me not to continue because it would be detrimental to myself.
My teacher also educated me on the matter of not reporting my SZ flight in 2021, but his words were full of concern.
In those days, I really wanted to commit suicide. I felt that my life was really ruined. This incident was really ugly and was a big stain in my life.
I feel like I have no face at all in front of the teachers. I don’t know if I was crazy or something. How could I, who used to be so well-behaved and polite, say those words?
He also called the hospital office. It is not ruled out that some students on duty also knew about it.
I told my tutor that I could no longer stay in school and wanted to drop out, but my tutor persuaded me.
Half a year has passed. I can't let it go, and I'm even more angry.
Why is this happening? How could he do such a cruel thing to me?
He brought out his uncle who owns a law firm and his sister-in-law who studies law to scare me. In March, he even sent an email threatening me to delete my comments within one day, otherwise he would send an email to the school to help deal with it.
Cheating is so natural, why do you still have the courage to threaten me?
I thought about killing him countless times, wanting to yank him, and thinking of countless ways to get back at him.
Everyone is telling me to let go. There is no need to destroy myself for such a person.
I have never suffered such a disadvantage since I was a child. My parents and brothers have protected me very well. How could I be willing to be bullied like this? He even threatened and scared my brother, saying that he had called the police and collected evidence to file a lawsuit in court. .
I can’t let go, thinking that I will find him after graduation in one year, go to his hometown to find his parents, go to his friends to find his friends...
I know that I will not be able to live my life well if I continue like this.
But why can such people live happily?
About the author: Ring the bell, Changsha Sagittarius woman, wild emotional writer. New book "Girl, your life is too soft"
