In recent years, there has been a very popular term "glass heart". I believe everyone is familiar with this term. So what is a "glass heart"? Glass heart refers to those people who have poor psychological endurance, who often get sad over trivial things and cannot extricate thems

In recent years, there has been a very popular word "glass heart". I believe everyone is familiar with this word.

What is a "glass heart"? Glass Heart refers to those people who have very poor psychological endurance, who often get sad over trivial things and cannot extricate themselves. This type of people will associate a lot with other people's words or a look, and they are very easily affected by negative influences. They are not confident in their hearts, especially concerned about other people's evaluations, and their willpower is generally very weak. On the road to realizing their dreams, It is difficult to persist until the end. It may be someone else's unintentional words that make you start to doubt yourself and stop moving forward.

From a psychological point of view, most people with a glass heart have a weak mentality and a victim mentality. They often actively put themselves in a position where they need to be protected and considered. They lack self-confidence in doing things and have poor willpower.

"Glass heart" is essentially a psychological problem, such as fear of others' evaluation, poor adaptability, fear of making choices, and fear of failure. In fact, there are psychological reasons behind it. The underlying reason for people with a glassy heart is often a lack of security, and sensitivity is a way of defense for them to protect themselves.

What is the psychological defense mechanism? It was first proposed by Freud . It refers to the psychological mechanism that a person uses to avoid interference and maintain psychological balance when he is emotionally disturbed. This mechanism is often used in our unconscious state .

Self-defense mechanism has the following characteristics:

(1) Defense mechanism is usually used unconsciously.

(2) The purpose of defense mechanism is to protect oneself from harm, and can be divided into active defense mechanism and passive defense mechanism.

(3) Defense mechanisms are self-deceptive in nature and sometimes cover up or disguise our true motives. Therefore, the self-defense mechanism sometimes distorts perception, memory, motivation and thinking, or completely blocks a certain psychological process and makes the self fall into anxiety. Of course, this is also a psychological self-protection method.

So what are the reasons for the formation of glass heart?

1, "Glass heart" is related to the family environment in which one grew up.

As a psychological counselor, we all know that most of a person's psychological problems are actually related to his or her family of origin. Of course, the same is true for "glass heart".

One of my former visitors, Little A, was a girl with a "glass heart". She was born in a very disharmonious family. Her father was very handsome and was always surrounded by Yingyingyanyan, so her mother always followed her. When my father quarreled, the family described it as a chicken and a dog. Because of the unhappy marriage, my mother had a bad temper and had no patience with Little A. She would even scold her at every turn.

Little A is scared every day. When she sees her mother’s expression, she knows that another storm is coming... Gradually, she learns to hide her emotions, no longer tells her mother anything, and refuses to talk to her peers. He doesn't like to talk when he gets along, and he becomes sensitive and closed-off.

2, related to the daily upbringing of parents

Because many families now have only one child, it is naturally very precious. Whatever delicious food and drinks are available at home, they are given to the child first, and this child becomes the family. At the core, the relationship between husband and wife is originally the core of a family, but when children become the core, it will cause dislocation of the family sequence.

Children who grow up in a doting environment will become unable to withstand wind and rain, have a fragile heart, and eventually become what we often call a "glass heart." And everyone seems to like to praise their children now. Appropriate praise is okay, but do you know? Excessive praise and praise can also cause children to have a "glass heart".

Think about it, a child has never received a word of criticism since he was a child, so when he is suddenly judged by his boss or teacher, how does he feel?

There are also some parents who often scold their children, thinking that it is good for their children, but a child who is always scolded will have learned helplessness, and she will feel in her heart that it must be because I am not good enough, so she is always scolded.Gradually, the heart will become more and more sensitive, forming a glass-hearted character.

What are the characteristics of glass heart?

1, believes that others always do not understand themselves and cannot listen to criticism from others.

2 thinks that the whole world is in trouble with him and treats him badly, and he has a serious victim mentality.

3, refuses interpersonal communication, is afraid of being hurt, and is afraid of being rejected.

4, someone else’s words or look will make you think a lot.

5, due to their extreme lack of security, often speculate excessively on other people's thoughts, which can create a lot of unnecessary trouble for themselves.

So how do you get rid of your glassy heart?

First, try to see things from a different perspective

The next time you feel that you have been "hurt" by someone else, don't rush to feel sad, but try to stand in the other person's perspective and think about why the other person is like this. explain? Did you really do something wrong? Try to analyze the correlation between this matter and yourself. After you detach yourself from your emotions, you can re-examine it from the perspective of a bystander, so that you can see the whole thing clearly.

Second, learn to be aware of your emotions and talk to yourself.

When you are really attacked by the outside world and hurt, you should first accept your emotions.

Ask yourself, why do you feel sad because of this sentence? Is it because you feel rejected? Think back to how you feel now, and whether it is similar to how you felt when you were denied as a child. In this way, you can go back to your childhood from your current feelings and emotions to find the source of this feeling.

Habitually thinking about the reasons for the formation of emotions can help you understand yourself more deeply. Only when you understand yourself better can you better control your emotions.

third. People who can clearly distinguish their own emotions and those of others often like to use self-attribution. And it is especially easy to get involved in other people's emotions. For example, if you see your partner or boss being unhappy, you will think that you have not done well, and then you will start to doubt yourself. At this time, we must clearly distinguish what is ours. What are the emotions of others, and do not get involved in other people's emotions easily.

Fourth, do not equate the evaluation of others with your own value.

Maybe everyone sees you differently. The you in other people's eyes may not be the real you. That is other people's values ​​and perceptions. This is other people's business and has little to do with you. But we must be clear about our own strengths and weaknesses and our own personality. The most important thing is that we need to recognize our own value. When a person is very stable internally, he will not be easily shaken by the outside world.

Don’t feel that you are worse than others. There is a concept in psychology called the shelling principle. It means that 99% of people’s psychological advantages are because they have a shell. If you see through their shell Son, he/she will no longer have a halo in your eyes, and her aura will become smaller in an instant.

For example, when you meet your favorite celebrity for the first time, you will definitely be nervous and excited. But if you get married to this person and spend time with him day and night for a year or two, he will only be in your eyes. He is just an ordinary person, because when you are with him, you can see his true appearance.

And the him you knew before was not the real him, it was just a deliberately created screen image. So take away the shell, such as clothing, power, money, and fame. After removing these, everyone is just an ordinary person.

is written at the end, remember Adler once said that no matter what you have experienced in your life before, it will have no impact on how you will spend your life in the future. What determines the height of a person's life is his own living at this moment.

So we should not care too much about the past. Let the past, whether good or bad, pass through.

Remember, changing your own glassy heart does not happen overnight. Give yourself more time and patience. Don't always live in the expectations of others, but live for yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes, and allow yourself to be imperfect. , so that we can easily go into battle and live a wonderful life.