My last job before retirement was as a procurement quality management engineer at an OEM, responsible for the procurement of auto parts. Because of my work, I have traveled across many provinces and experienced many things in my life. I hope to share some stories and experiences

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Author | Yang Xiaomi + Dongya Editor | Xiaochen

Source | Meet Xiaomi (ID: yujianxiaomi2015)

Hello, I am Dongya.

is also the aunt of Xiaoyun, the author of another of our public accounts "My Daily Life with Mr. Liu". She is 59 years old and has retired.

’s last job before retirement was as a procurement quality management engineer at an OEM, responsible for the procurement of auto parts.

Due to work, I have traveled across many provinces on business, and I have also experienced many things in my life. I hope to share some stories and experiences with you.

A few days ago, I heard some stories about favoring sons over daughters. To be honest, most parents love their daughters, but in reality, life is multi-faceted, society is complex, and there is a lot of harm, which comes from the family.

For example, my former colleague Xiao Zhang suffered from the patriarchal preference.

Fortunately, although fate only dealt her a bad hand, she was able to rely on her own efforts to successfully counterattack and achieve success.

She said, Since you can't fight with your father and husband, then fight with yourself.

01

Due to malnutrition,

80, she was less than 150cm

My colleague Xiao Zhang is very capable and diligent. She was promoted to supervisor soon after joining our company, and she also has the identity of a military wife.

When she gave birth, we went to her house and saw her parents coming. Her father was over 175cm tall and her mother was also 16cm tall, but Xiao Zhang’s height was less than 150cm.

That day, I discovered that Xiao Zhang was lukewarm towards his parents, which was completely different from his usual warm and generous attitude towards his colleagues and friends.

Later, she told me about her past experience, which made me sigh endlessly.

She was born in rural Gansu in 1986. More than a year after she was born, her parents went out to work and left her with her grandmother.

Not long after, she gave birth to her younger brother.

After my younger brother was born, my parents almost stopped giving my grandmother any money. Apart from occasionally giving her tuition, they rarely visited her and ignored her.

is like the ducks in the countryside in the past, who laid eggs for the chickens to hatch.

Grandma was nearly fifty at the time and had no education. She relied on the meager income from farming in the arid and barren land of Gansu to support her. The two of them lived a life of starvation.

Xiao Zhang has been wearing old clothes from the children of her uncle and aunt since she was a child.

Every Chinese New Year, my uncle and aunt would send some meat to my grandma’s house. This was one of the few opportunities for her to eat meat throughout the year. When she was young, she thought the meat tasted so good!

With the help of her aunt and uncle, she also went to school. Her parents occasionally remembered her and gave her some tuition.

Due to her malnourished childhood, she was shorter than her classmates. Without the protection of her parents, she felt extremely frightened. Her only confidence came from her excellent grades.

She has been working very hard. After graduating from junior high school, she got excellent grades and was able to attend high school for free. Later, her college entrance examination score ranked third in the county.

In this way, she got the right to choose.

02

The student loan has not been paid off yet.

Her parents asked her for money to buy a house for her younger brother.

Since she was born in a place with extreme water shortage, what she hopes most is to have endless water, so when she fills in her application for the college entrance examination, she just wants to go there. Places with lots and lots of water.

initially chose Hainan, but the teacher reminded her that there were no 985 universities in Hainan and it would be a pity to go to Hainan based on her grades. So she chose a 985 university on the banks of the Xiangjiang River.

When her parents learned that she had been admitted to college, they felt that Beier was a good person, so they helped pay for her first-year tuition and travel expenses.

The remaining three years of tuition and four years of living expenses all depend on student loans and work-study.

During the work-study program, she worked as a tutor, distributed flyers, helped the school manage the flower garden, and served dishes in restaurants. She tried her best to do any job that could make money.

One weekend during her sophomore year, she handed out flyers along the street. The weather was very hot and she was sweating profusely without a hat. A boy in simple clothes who was also handing out leaflets reminded her to go to the shade under the tree.

The two of them started talking. As they chatted, they discovered that they were both poor students from key universities, so they left each other's contact information and met to communicate with each other about making money.

Slowly, during the chat, they discovered that they had a common language with each other. Later, the two gradually got closer and became a pair of lovers, helping each other to warm each other in a foreign country.

She knows that the opportunity to study is hard to come by, so as long as the income from the work-study program is enough to maintain basic living (the tuition depends on student loans and scholarships) , she will focus her time and energy on studying and will never be greedy for making money.

Because of her excellent grades, a large company immediately offered her an olive branch as soon as she graduated. She chose a large company in Chongqing and soon got married to her boyfriend.

Not long after she entered the company, her parents, who had been missing throughout her entire growth process, appeared . Her parents wanted to buy a house for her younger brother and needed a down payment, so they asked her for 50,000 yuan.

Her parents told her that you are the eldest daughter in the family and this is your responsibility.

She said that I had just started working and my student loan had not been paid off, so how could I have any money.

My father said, you have joined such a big company and have so many colleagues and leaders, but you can’t even borrow 50,000 yuan?

She rejected her parents’ unreasonable demands and severed contact with them.

Soon, in order to be with her husband who joined the army after graduation (she was in Chongqing and his husband was in Guangxi, which was too far away), she resigned and went to the location of the army where her husband served, which is where I am in Guangxi. Central city.

This is also a place with beautiful clear rivers. She likes water.

Here, she joined my company and we became colleagues.

I also witnessed her counterattack in life after getting promoted, having children, going to school, and buying a house.

03

The mother said: You give your brother 50,000 yuan,

I will help you take care of the child for two years

She and her husband had a naked marriage. They rented a small house and paid nine yuan to get a marriage certificate, which completed the whole process of marriage.

On weekdays, she lives alone. If Mr. Weekend has no assignments, he comes back on vacation, and they soon have a child.

During her pregnancy, she had breakfast and lunch in the company canteen. However, the company was far away from where she lived and did not provide dinner. When she got home from get off work every day, it was almost dark.

It is not easy for a pregnant woman living alone to prepare dinner by herself.

She never thought about going to the vegetable market to buy some food and cook it herself, but as soon as she entered the vegetable market and smelled the smell, she vomited like crazy.

There was nothing she could do, so she went to buy instant noodles, bread and milk for dinner. Only when Mr. Weekend comes back can she have some delicious home-cooked food.

saw other co-workers who were pregnant together, and their mothers-in-law and mothers were serving them all kinds of delicious food. She was used to being helpless, and she was not sad. She was still smiling all day long, and she was very energetic at work. Her leaders and colleagues were all Like her very much.

While pregnant with her first son, she was promoted to supervisor.

After experiencing labor pains and the pain of antenatal surgery, she gave birth to her eldest son. The experience of giving birth to her son made her decide to forgive her parents. She said that after all, they were the ones who gave her life.

Her parents came to see her, and her mother said she was willing to help her take care of the child for two years on the condition that she give her parents 50,000 yuan to buy a house for her brother.

She agreed, and while she was still renting a house, she took out the only 30,000 yuan she had at the time and gave it to her parents.

As a result, her parents hurt her again. Her mother helped her take care of the child for two months and then left. The reason why

left was that his younger brother didn’t have enough money to buy a house and he was unwilling to work. His mother wanted to work with his father to buy a house for his younger brother.

Her younger brother has been doted on by his parents since he was a child and has no worries about food and clothing. He stopped studying after graduating from junior high school and wandered around the society. She is so outstanding because she is a girl and has not been favored by her parents.

She has seen so many people preferring boys over girls that she has become accustomed to it.

After her mother left, she had to take care of the children and buy groceries and cook on her own. Everyone who had experienced it knew the hardship, but Xiao Zhang, who had been having a hard time growing up, felt that it was nothing and she could bear it.

It’s just that my heart towards my parents has become colder again.

Until she took maternity leave and went to work, her mother-in-law came to help her take care of the child.

My mother-in-law comes from a mountainous area and cannot speak Mandarin . She can only speak Zhuang dialect . The two of them have no way to communicate, and my husband can only go home on weekends to do translation. Come together, for example, in Zhuang dialect, eating is called Genpa, but I don’t understand and call it Gu Yi) .

Faced with such a mother-in-law, she did not complain, only grateful, because she did not have money to hire a nanny at that time. She felt that it was good that her mother-in-law was willing to ensure that the children were not cold or hungry while she was at work.

For her hometown, the only thing she cared about was her grandmother and the uncles and aunts who had helped her in the past.

After working for 10 years, she once took her husband and children back to her hometown in Gansu. Instead of visiting her parents, she only visited her grandmother, uncle and aunt.

She brought them mangoes, a local specialty in Guangxi, and they ate them so much that they were reluctant to throw away the skin, saying they were delicious.

As for her parents and younger brother, the family relationship was severed when her mother stopped helping her take care of the children. From then on, she only occasionally gave her parents some money during the holidays as a way of repaying the kindness of having children.

04

While raising her children, she accompanied her husband to take the postgraduate entrance examination.

As a result, she passed the exam and her husband did not pass.

When her eldest son was four years old, her husband was injured in training and left the army to work in a local government department.

Since the undergraduate major and diploma in national defense science and technology are not enough for her husband to compete in the civil service where there are many masters and doctors, she encouraged her husband to take the postgraduate entrance examination. Mr.

was not confident. She said that I would review with you and accompany you to take the exam. As a result, she passed the exam but not Mr.

.

When she was admitted to the postgraduate program, she found out that she was pregnant with her second child.

In the three years from pregnancy to when the child was over two years old, except for the winter and summer vacations (her child was born during the winter vacation), her life consisted of going to work and taking care of the baby. After the baby was asleep, she would get up, work overtime, and read a book. There was not a single omission at night. before going to bed.

A working graduate student has classes all day every Saturday and Sunday. She gets up at five o'clock every Saturday morning and drives to the provincial capital for classes until she gets home at eleven o'clock on Sunday night.

usually drives out to work at seven in the morning and returns home at seven in the evening.

For three years, from a pregnant woman to a mother of two, she kept running back and forth between the company and school no matter the cold or summer.

In the end, she got her master's diploma and degree with the second place in the class, and was named a model worker in the company and promoted to section chief.

As the saying goes, she was pregnant for three years, but she accomplished several major things in her life in these three years, and everyone around her admired her.

Both she and her husband were extremely poor students who relied on student loans and work-study programs to study, with starting points as low as dust.

Now they have bought a house in the best school district in the city center. Her hard work has given her two sons a higher starting point.

British female writer Virginia Woolf said: A person can make himself who he is, which is more important than anything else.

Are there any women around you who are brave enough to fight against fate?

They are uncompromising, unyielding, unyielding, independent and brave, open-minded and hardworking. blossoms the flower of freedom in the chaotic life.

I look forward to your sharing. I hope we can all see more and more confident, natural, comfortable and self-confident female power.

is also willing to encourage you all.

Yang Xiaomi: Founder of self-media [Meet Xiaomi], author of the book "Monetization from Action", a native of Shandong with a background in psychology, settled in Shanghai, went from ordinary employee to marketing director, and started a business in 3 years, sharing workplace experience and Growth Story