Introduction:
Nowadays, young people are busy working and making money, so the care of children is left to the elderly. We just go to the park and see old people taking care of their grandchildren everywhere. In today's society, everyone gives the elderly A kind of responsibility, that is, taking care of grandchildren has become something that the elderly must do. If they don't do it, they will be labeled as selfish. It’s hard to say who is right or wrong about
. Young people and old people have their own difficulties. Young people are under great pressure at work. They are usually busy making money and have no time to take care of their children. At this time, young people will treat the old people Taking it over, it is called being filial to the elderly, but in fact it means asking the elderly to help take care of their grandchildren. After retirement, the elderly feel that they are idle anyway, so it is better to help their children and take care of their grandchildren, so that the pressure on their children will be less, so this is why more elderly people take care of their grandchildren.
Many old people have a good wish. They always feel that they can help take care of their grandchildren diligently, so that they can get the company and filial piety of their relatives. However, the fact makes many old people feel disappointed, because many old people always take care of their grandchildren while taking care of them. There will be some conflicts with the children, which will eventually lead to family quarrels. The elderly will contribute money and efforts, but because of some verbal disputes, nothing will happen in the end.
Sister Hu is a typical example of this. She just helps take care of her grandson and works as a free nanny. But when something happens, she gets into a few arguments with her daughter-in-law and becomes a bad person. In the end, she can only pack up her things and return to her hometown overnight. , Sister Hu expressed her own experience: "Old people help take care of their grandchildren and avoid money transactions, otherwise it will be easy to be thankless." What is going on with
? Let's look down together.
The self-report of 70-year-old Sister Hu:
My name is Hu Chunli, I am 70 years old this year. Two years after I retired, my wife passed away due to illness. Originally, our family had some savings, but because of the treatment for my wife and children, the former I spent nearly 80,000 yuan in the first and second half of the year. Later, the money was almost spent, and no one was retained. I was left alone to feel sad. Fortunately, I have a pension of 3,000 yuan a month, and I can still live in the city. Even though I can't compare to the rich people who own an apartment, I don't have to worry about food and drink. As long as I take good care of my body, I can live a life well.
In the few years after my wife left, my relatives and friends all advised me to find another one while I was still young, but I didn’t have that intention at all, because I think living alone is also different and beautiful, and both of my children are beautiful. I already have a family and a career, and I don't have any financial pressure. I don't need to be dependent on a man at all. I have money and leisure, so I can just enjoy my own life. There is no need to cause trouble to myself.
Moreover, at this age, there is no emotional basis for finding a wife. Everyone thinks that there is another person in their hearts. I am thinking about my wife, and the other person is also thinking about his ex-wife. How can such a relationship last long? Woolen cloth? It is very difficult for second-married couples to manage, because they have no emotional foundation, so they are more distrustful and scheming with each other when they are together. I don't want to live a life of being in constant fear every day.
There are also single sisters around me. They immediately found a man to get married, but their life after marriage was not very satisfactory. It is because there are such examples around me, so I don’t want to follow their old path. Life is a bit lonely, but at least I don’t have to act out “gong scheming” with others. I still like a simple way of getting along, living alone and finding something to do. Time passes quickly, and my children occasionally come too. I will come back to visit, and there are my son-in-law and daughter-in-law, and the house is very lively. When they have children in the future, I can enjoy being surrounded by children and grandchildren. I feel quite contented.
I lived alone for five years. Then my daughter-in-law gave birth to a child, and my son asked me to live with them so that I could help take care of the grandson. I thought, it has been a wonderful five years anyway, and I have nothing to do when I retire at home. Son, it’s time to make some contribution to my children, and if I am good to my children and grandchildren now, they will definitely be filial to me in the future, so I packed up my things and went to my son’s house.
I rented out a house in the city directly, and I could collect 1,500 yuan a month in rent. In addition, my pension was a little higher at that time, and I had 3,500 yuan a month. This money was my confidence. After moving to my son's house, I served them hard and without complaint. Not only did I take care of my grandchildren, but I also cleaned for them. I cooked three meals a day. I got up at six o'clock every morning just to keep the young people warm. Yes, I can feel more energetic when I go to work.
Because of my efforts, my son and daughter-in-law felt a lot more relaxed, so my son was very kind to me during that period. He would take me to restaurants every week. Sometimes when I went to the mall, my daughter-in-law would buy me new clothes. Not only that, they felt sorry for my hard work raising my grandson and gave me 3,000 yuan a month as hard work. This made me feel very gratified. At least they could see my efforts, so everything I did was worth it.
spent three years in harmony like this. My grandson went to kindergarten, and I felt a lot more relaxed. I was responsible for doing housework and sending my grandson to and from school every day. At this time, my son's attitude towards me also changed. In the past, every time my son came to school, When the salary was paid, he would allocate 3,000 yuan to me, but suddenly one day he didn’t give it to me. My son told me that the current environment is not good, and the salary was paid late. He said that when the salary was paid next month, he would replenish it with me. .
I shook my head and said it was not necessary, because I knew it was not easy for young people nowadays. Under such circumstances, many companies could not continue to operate. It was already very difficult for my son to have a job. How could I have the nerve to find one? Does your son want money? And I also told my son: "If you are short of money, just tell me. I have helped you save all the money you have given me over the years. Now it is more than 50,000."
Later, my son really didn't give me any more money. , but I don’t care. I have a pension and monthly rent to collect, so I have no shortage of money to spend. But my son always has a sad face, either saying that he has to pay off his mortgage, or saying that he may be laid off. Anyway, he is just worried. In order to make my son feel better, I took the initiative to give him my pension passbook and said: "Son, the money is not much, 3,500 yuan a month, I can help you if you can, don't be too anxious. When the ship comes to the bridge, it will be . Anxiety cannot solve the problem. A grown man must stand the test. "
Not only did I lose my hard-earned money, but I also lost my pension, but I just felt a little distressed and didn't want to. I care so much about my son. After all, I came to help take care of my grandson entirely on my own initiative. I didn’t intend to ask for my son’s money. Moreover, when my son was in trouble, I definitely wanted to help. I didn’t take it seriously after that. But what happened next made me really angry.
I used to be responsible for buying groceries because my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law were busy making money and had no time to go to the supermarket. But my son used to be very conscious. Every time I bought groceries, I would bring the receipt when I came back. They will reimburse me. In the past, I didn’t care about this little money, but the pension passbook has been given to my son, so I have very little money. Every time I go to the supermarket to buy meat and daily necessities, it actually costs a lot of money. Yes, but my son never reimbursed me once.
Every time they come back, they enjoy my meal with peace of mind. After finishing the meal, they start to eat the fruits I bought, including paper towels and toothpaste at home. I bought everything. Everyone comments, I am a month old The rent money is only 2,000 yuan, which is definitely not enough for living expenses, but I am too embarrassed to ask my son for money. After all, each time I buy something, it costs several hundred yuan. For such a small amount of money, I really can’t ask for it. .
Later, my son asked me to borrow money. He said that he had been driving his car for seven or eight years and wanted to change it to a better car so that he would be more dignified when driving out to discuss business. However, the car he bought was more expensive and he was still short of 200,000 yuan. Just hope I can help him.
I did have so much savings, so I gave the money to my son without saying a word. When my son received the money, he happily took me to the restaurant and bought me new clothes. At that time, I still felt I was so happy and felt that my son would definitely be filial to me in the future, but my son was very realistic. He was only kind to me that day, and then he ignored me again.
In fact, in the following years, I lived in my son’s house with resentment because I felt that my son and daughter-in-law had changed. They took my efforts for granted and did not respect the fruits of my labor. After I cleaned the house, they still They would throw rubbish on the ground, and I could only sweep the floor over and over again; they also stopped taking me on trips. Ever since I bought a good car, I have never ridden in it. Every time they go out as a family of three, they leave me alone. Alone.
I felt a lot of grievances in my heart, but I never took the initiative to speak out and continued to take care of their family silently. But no matter how nice I am to them, it can't be compared to the reality.
One day, my daughter-in-law suddenly said to me: "Mom, I am planning to have a second child. I see that you are in poor health and have really worked hard for you over the years. We discussed it and decided to let my mother come and take care of our house. "Xiao, we really can't accommodate so many people, so you can continue to go back to your hometown to enjoy your happiness. We will go home to visit you often."
My heart was completely frozen at that time. I had given so much to my relationship, but in the end I was treated as nothing. The rubbish was thrown away, and they said they wanted me to go home and live in peace and happiness. In fact, it was because I had no use value and they asked me to leave. They even said it so grandly.
I didn’t want to get into trouble with my son and daughter-in-law, so in the end I quietly packed up my things and went back to my hometown. After years of hard work, I finally understood the truth that I still have to rely on myself for retirement, and I still have to hold on to my money. Only in my own hands can I take the initiative. From now on, I will never pay foolishly. I want all my pension passbooks back and live my own life. I never want to live with my son and daughter-in-law again.
