Among family relationships, the most difficult relationship to deal with is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
I have a colleague. His wife is a government servant and his mother is a retired teacher.
singled out the women with these two positions, one is the best spouse and the other is the best mother-in-law; putting them together is a perfect match.
I know both of them. The wife is gentle and beautiful, and the old man is amiable. Although they don't have much contact with each other, through understanding, they have no problems in character and character.
But even these two women still have many conflicts in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
A colleague complained to me that his wife told him that the mother’s method of teaching her children was rigid, which destroyed the children’s liveliness and innocence. The mother told him that it would be fine if his wife did not do housework during the week, but would take the children to play around on weekends. If you don’t do it, you’ll play wild with your child’s heart.
Once, a mother taught her child arithmetic using the question-and-answer tactic. The mother dictates the questions and asks the child to do the calculations orally. It was okay at first, and the child could answer more accurately.
Half an hour has passed, and the child's attention is obviously not focused. Sometimes he hesitates to answer a simple single-digit addition question, and is obviously absent-minded.
My wife was looking at her mobile phone, but later she noticed that the child was not in good condition, so she said to the mother, "Mom, the child has been studying for so long, let him take a rest."
But the mother had no intention of stopping, and did not He ignored his wife and said to the child, "Today's task must be completed, otherwise we can't go out to play."
My wife felt ignored and was very angry, so she said to her mother, "Mom, at this age, the child's attention span is limited. If he can concentrate for 10 minutes, he won't be able to learn it no matter how much you teach him."
Perhaps it was because of his wife's bad tone, but his mother's expression also changed, "This is how I taught his father when he was young; I brought this child up like this. "Why don't I know what he can bear? As a mother, forget it if you don't teach. Don't interfere with your child's learning."
My wife could no longer suppress her anger and stood up and asked her mother, "What do you mean I didn't teach?" Your methods are all outdated. I am more concerned about the all-round development of my children rather than exam-oriented education! "
's mother is not weak at all, "What are the outdated methods? Hundreds of the students I have brought out have been admitted to college. . Your husband was trained by me..."
Seeing that the two parties were getting more and more angry, the colleague quickly took his wife out, apologized on behalf of his mother, and coaxed and lied, so that he could stabilize his wife and avoid a fight. greater conflict.
I feel that the most important thing in dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the husband. A smart husband will be in a dilemma between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law; a stupid husband will be in a dilemma.
When dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a husband must follow the "Four Golden Rules"
First, stand firmly on the wife's side without violating issues of principle. This is not to ask the husband to forget his mother when he marries his wife, but to support his wife more in disputes caused by trivial family matters. On the one hand, you are your mother's biological child after all, and she will still recognize you as her son even if she gets angry; on the other hand, if your wife marries into your family alone, and you don't support her, who will?
Secondly, if mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live apart, they must live apart . Teeth and lips bump together. Three women and one drama, two women living under the same roof. Over time, friction will inevitably arise due to inconsistent living habits and values.
Third, don’t be a “long-tongued” . As a husband and wife, it is normal for your wife to complain to you about your mother-in-law, and as a son and mother to complain about your daughter-in-law. Most of the time, just be a quiet listener, listen in one ear and out the other, don't take it to heart, and don't talk nonsense.
The fourth , please share your opinions in the comment area.
