When a child travels a thousand miles, the mother is worried, but when a mother travels a thousand miles, the child is not worried. This sentence means: When a child travels far away from home, the mother is always worried, but when a child is away, the mother rarely worries about the mother. .
As a parent, what you long for most is that your children can still be with you when you are old. Even if you just meet and chat, they are very content.
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But children have their own thoughts when they grow up. In order to pursue the life they want, they will leave their hometown.
Some may be for work, and some may be for love.
Over the years, girls who marry far away have always been a hotly discussed topic. Parents are also most afraid of their daughters marrying far away.
Because no matter how far away you go to work, you will always come back, but if you marry far away, you will come back less frequently.
True story
I am the second eldest child in my family. I have an older sister and a younger brother. Although my family is poor, my parents still spend their money and try their best to find ways for us to study.
I remember when I was young, my parents often said to my sister and me: As long as you two sisters have the ability to pass the exam, I will take out a loan to send you to study. After you study, I will not beg for anything you can give me. I just hope that you will not marry far away. That's it.
I have always kept this sentence in my heart. Until I came out to society after graduating from technical secondary school, I would not play with boys from other provinces.
But my sister seems to have forgotten that she entered society three years earlier than me and met a boyfriend from Guangxi in the factory. The power of love made her forget everything her parents said.
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I only found out about it when I went out to work. My sister helped me find a job, and there was a man with me. Needless to say, everyone knew what kind of relationship they had.
In order to prevent me from telling my family about her, my sister gave me a special vaccination, telling me that if I wanted to tell my family about her, I should not have a sisterly relationship.
For this reason, I didn’t mention anything about her boyfriend. However, love can make a woman lose her way. During the Spring Festival that year, my sister did not come back to celebrate the New Year. That's right, she went to the man's house.
Because of love, my sister had a falling out with her family.
When she didn’t come back, my father wanted to call and find out what happened. My sister said on the phone: She was celebrating the New Year at a friend’s house. After being scolded by her father, the phone was turned off. .
No matter how stupid my dad is, he still knows why my sister didn’t come back for the New Year, so he called me aside and asked me: Is your sister having a boyfriend? If you keep it a secret, you are harming her.
I couldn't bear my dad's questioning, and I was afraid that my sister would be deceived, so I told my dad everything about my sister's boyfriend.
That night, my father and my mother had a big argument. It was the first time I saw them arguing so hard that they even broke the TV.
My father scolded my mother: How could I give birth to a daughter who is as unfilial as my eldest sister? My mother was unable to refute. She didn't know how to resist except crying.
When I saw my mother crying, I couldn't help but cry too. My father was so angry that he even scolded me and said: If you follow your sister's example, my legs will be broken for you. After saying this, he slammed the door angrily and left. went.
That night, I saw my mother crying really sadly, maybe because she was wronged, or maybe because she missed her sister too much.
When she woke up the next day, her eyes were swollen and the pillow was wet. The whole family is not happy this year.
After the Chinese New Year, my father decided to go to Guangdong with me, because I knew which factory my eldest sister worked in. If she didn’t resign, she would definitely come back.
Sure enough, the eldest sister and the man did not expect that their father would come from his hometown in Hunan to Guangdong to catch them. They were very lucky! Got caught.
Dad didn't say anything, but slapped the eldest sister hard on the face. He had never slapped the eldest sister before, but this time, he made an exception.
He took his eldest sister back to where he lived, asked her to break up with the man, and went back to her hometown with her immediately.
But the eldest sister was not willing, but love had gone to her head, and she had a quarrel with her father on the spot.
The eldest sister said: This man is very good to her. She wants to make her own decisions regarding emotional matters and will not listen to her father. The man also begged her father to help him.
Dad was so angry that he kicked the man out and locked his sister in the room to let her reflect.
However, there was someone who could lock it. My eldest sister didn’t eat for two meals, so my father felt distressed and asked me to open the door and let her go. The eldest sister also hated her father and ran away with the man.
Marriages that are opposed by parents are generally not blessed. My sister does not have a wedding or any ceremony, so she becomes a member of someone else's family.
Since that time, my sister has not contacted her family for three years because she was afraid that her parents would oppose them. It was not until she had a conflict with her mother-in-law after giving birth that she remembered that she still had her parents' family.
Sister said she regretted marrying there and didn't ask for a penny. Others looked down on her and thought she was worthless. They even asked her to go to the fields to plant sugar cane because she was pregnant.
now regrets not listening to her father's words, but it's too late. After hearing what she said, her parents suddenly relented and asked her sister to take the child back to live for a while.
But my sister said that she had no money to take care of the child, so my father asked me to quickly transfer 5,000 to her. Just like that, she returned to her parents' home for the first time three years after giving birth to the child.
came back to stay for a week, and her brother-in-law came to pick her up. Her father gave her a severe scolding. He said: If you marry my daughter, I won’t ask you for a penny. Even where your home is? I don’t know the direction. I don’t beg you for anything. I just hope you will be good to my daughter. If you can’t do that, please send her back.
Brother-in-law kept admitting that he was wrong. Before leaving, my sister took away the household registration book and said that the child was going to school and needed to apply for the certificate as soon as possible. After hearing this, the parents would definitely not object and even gave the niece a seal. Big red envelope.
Actually, my parents really wanted my sister and brother-in-law to ask them to take them to see where their home was, but they didn't say a word about it. Seeing this, they didn't want to go, for fear of adding pressure to them.
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Since leaving that time, my sister did not come back for several years and even gave birth to a second child.
It was my father’s birthday last year. I reminded her to come back to celebrate his birthday. My sister said: She will not come back. Firstly, it is inconvenient to bring two children. Secondly, it is a long way and the cost of coming back is too high. Sister
said: The round trip fare for several people is more than 1,000 yuan, and it is still a hassle to transfer. It is better to just send 2,000 yuan to send it to dad for his birthday.
My brother and I were very angry when we heard this. We blamed my sister for not even coming back for my father’s birthday. What’s the use of a daughter like this?
But after hearing this, my parents said: It’s understandable. They also told us that we should be especially nice to my sister when she comes back, because she may not come back many times in her life. My mother cried again as she listened.
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I thought about it seriously. Since she married her brother-in-law, she has only come back once in 6 years. Now she can't come back when she is young. How can she come back when she gets older.
Here, Xia Mei uses her personal experience to say
For a girl to marry far away does not mean that she is unfilial in the essential sense, but that she has no way or the ability to fulfill her filial piety, unless she is very rich. When you are young, you may come back to see your parents every three years, but when you get older, you may never come back at all.
Parents' time is limited. There is a sentence on the Internet that describes it very thoroughly: If you come back to see your parents once a year and your parents live to be 60 years old, you can only come back to see them 20 times at most.
The above is Xia Mei’s feelings about her sister’s marriage far away, which cannot be summed up in one sentence.
