A letter from a reader said:
One day, she added me as a friend through an online social software. She sent me her husband’s name and asked if I knew him. I said I don't know him. At that time, I didn’t know that what she sent me was her husband’s name. After we became friends online, she told me that she was a single woman. After that, she started chatting with me. During this period, she also told me that the person she liked no longer wanted her, and she was very sad. Of course I would comfort her. She said that the boy had been in love with her for seven years.
After chatting for a few days, we met in real life. The situation at the time was this: On the day we met, she was shopping in the supermarket and asked me if I was free. I immediately asked for leave from the company. After I met her, my first impression of her was: average appearance, over 1.6 meters tall, slightly chubby, which is my type. In fact, I don't like girls who are too beautiful and I feel insecure. During this period, I went for a walk in the park with her and took the opportunity to confess my love to her. She told me: She will go to work out of town in a few days. Later, I invited her to my home and she agreed. That day, we crossed the thunder pool.
In the days that followed, she confessed to me: she had a husband and children. It pained me to learn the true nature of her relationship. Because I don't want to destroy other people's families, I always feel sorry for her husband and guilty, but I can't let her go. After that, we continued to date, and her attitude towards me was hot and cold. During this period, she experienced domestic violence by her husband.
In this relationship, I have always been tolerant and accommodating. She revealed to me that her husband knew about my relationship with her. One time, I called her and her husband answered the phone. Me: You should know who I am. Her husband: Yeah. Me: I didn’t mean to destroy your family. Her husband: I know. Her husband: Don’t believe her words too much. At that moment, I felt that I didn't understand her a little. Could it be that she was lying to me from the beginning? I want to know, has she ever liked it?
Muzi Li Emotional analysis:
Let’s restore your relationship in a more realistic way from the beginning of your acquaintance: you met through online chat software. Maybe there are photos of you in your online space, so that after seeing your photos, the other person thinks you look good and starts to covet you. When she added you as a friend, she mentioned her husband's name. What she is worried about is that she is afraid that if you and her husband get to know each other, once they establish a relationship with you, they will be particularly embarrassed when they meet in the future. After she determined that you and her husband did not know each other, she started her usual "fishing online" trick on you.
Many online dating scenes are like this: from the tentative chat at the beginning, to wanting to tell the other party everything (it does not rule out that she will tell some lies in front of you). As a fool in the emotional field, you must be chatting with the other person heartily. In the end, mutual goodwill and curiosity formed, so she randomly found a bad excuse that she was shopping in the supermarket, and they had their first encounter with you. There is a detail during this period: when you were showing your kindness to her, she did not answer your question directly, but just told you that after a while, she would go to work out of town. The implication: She is not qualified or has no idea to maintain a long-term relationship with you (she is married, you are unmarried, but you did not know the truth of the matter at the time, so you are still in the dark).
In fact, when you first met, what she wanted most was for her to be invited to your home. In the end, she got her wish, and so did you. After that, she becomes hot and cold in front of you. The truth is that as a woman with a family, she needs to ward off evil spirits during her relationship with you. Especially when you get home from work and want to chat with her, her husband is right next to her. Do you think she can be unscrupulous? At this time, her indifference to you is also a last resort. Eventually, your affair was discovered by her husband, and under this circumstance, the scene of domestic violence against her by her husband emerged.Perhaps, when it comes to her husband's domestic violence against her, your perception is that her husband is too barbaric, but if you think about it from another perspective, if your wife crosses the line with another man, is it possible that you will also treat your wife's family badly? Violent?
In this case, she has to confess to you the reality that she has a family and children, and at the same time, she also confesses to you that her husband knows your existence. At this time, the question you actually need to grapple with is not whether she has ever loved you, but ask yourself: If she divorced her husband because of you, would you be willing to take over? Remember: all relationships that cannot lead to marriage are rotten peach blossoms. During this period, you called her because you missed her. Do you think it was inconvenient for her to answer your call at that time? She just feels that your entanglement with her makes her a little helpless, so she can only ask her husband to answer your calls for her. The implication is: you should not contact each other too frequently in the future. Or, after her extramarital affair with you was discovered by her husband, her husband kept her under strict supervision. When you called her, her husband took away her mobile phone.
Do you know what kind of third party is the most annoying? The other party obviously only treats you as a plaything, but you show affection in this relationship. In this case, the other party will feel that your presence disturbs the other party's life. And your inner feeling is: It was obviously the other party who provoked you first. For this reason, regarding this relationship, the attitude you should have now is to block and delete all contact information of the other party. Even if the other party shamelessly comes to your house to block the door one day, you have to remind yourself that what the other party presents to you is not at all. Love, at best, just wraps around your body. What do you think is the point of continuing to be entangled with a character who is treated like a plaything?
I can see that you are still a kind person, but you cannot control your emotions in the emotional field. In this case, I will use my many years of experience in examining relationships to tell some truths about the woman you are obsessed with: 1) She is a woman with an extremely immoral private life. Before she met you, she had already used a way of getting close to you to get along with you. Some young people have crossed the line; 2) Even if she divorces her husband, don’t be a successor, because the reason why she divorced her husband must not be because you are charming enough, but because her husband doesn’t want her. If she gets married, you will become her second best choice; 3) Once you get married, you will get too many cuckolds in your married life. I want to ask, do you want to take this kind of garbage home?
Editor’s postscript:
particularly hates the behavior of married people pretending to be single to deceive young people in their early relationship. Maybe you have gained the freshness you want in this relationship, but have you ever thought about your behavior of deceiving your relationship? What impact will it have on the other person’s view of marriage and love? Here, I would like to remind those young people who have been cheated on their feelings: Although you meet someone who is not kind, you still have to believe in the beauty of love, because not everyone you meet is an emotional liar.
In future life, if you meet someone of the opposite sex that you like more, you still have to give love a chance. Especially if you met the other person through online chatting, it is best to meet the other person's friends and colleagues before investing in the relationship, in order to avoid having to sacrifice your heart and soul in the relationship. , only to find that the other party is simply an emotional liar. It is also normal to break up before the result of marriage. Especially after you are sure that the other person is an emotional liar, you should not continue to show affection in this relationship, but force yourself to withdraw rationally.
(pictures from the Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do with it)
