interpretation of emotional topics will take you into more positive emotional worlds! I am your emotional reliever, but you must know how to let yourself go!
article | Feng Ding Ye Mo
original · Plagiarism must be investigated
01
When facing feelings, people who are in love will never be happy.
Unfortunately, in real life, there are so many people with love brains that they can be found everywhere.
Although, compared to those who are too rational in relationships, people with a love brain are more suitable for life. However, in the face of human nature, you have to admit:
People with a love brain will only consider issues rationally and ignore reality, so they are destined to lose their existence value.
When a person is in a relationship and cannot find where the real center of gravity is, it will be a matter of time before he is replaced.
Before writing this article, a reader asked me: Teacher
, my partner and I were college classmates, and we started from scratch after graduation. When I was 45, I developed health problems and my partner wanted me to stay at home full time. He is responsible for the hard work, I just need to take care of my body.
However, six months after I was at home full time, I found out that he had betrayed me. The reason for betraying me was really ridiculous. He said that a third party could give him more spiritual support and work assistance.
but what about me? Is everything I have done in the past meaningless?
Faced with readers’ questions, I asked her:
What is a person’s past like, and does it have more of a positive or negative impact on the present?
After I asked this question, she suddenly realized: The past is not equal to the present.
Yes, many people who have experienced betrayal will often use "once" to define the present moment. Subjectively, the value of the past is equal to the value of the present.
In fact, the value of the past will never equal the value of the present.
Either the value of the past will disappear in the present; or the value of the past will be improved in the present.
The former can be replaced by a new value object, while the latter is firmly in the C position.
When your past value is "equal" to your current self-perception, you will have the possibility of being replaced.
In fact, whether a person can betray depends on 4 words: realistic value.
02
Real value types include spiritual value and material value. Among them, spiritual desires also include the satisfaction of physical desires.
Only when both values exist, people will not betray for the corresponding desire.
In a sense, the reason why one person betrays another person is because the other half's actual value cannot meet his or her actual needs.
If you can give people spiritual needs and satisfy them, then the chance of betrayal will be greatly reduced.
Therefore, if you do not have material value, you must also have spiritual value to effectively avoid being replaced:
1: Recognize and praise the other party
There are many people in marriage and love relationships who are shy to express in words and completely believe in it. "Action".
However, many times, the source of sensitive information for two people together comes from appropriate verbal interaction.
When a person learns to combine words with practical actions, then the 3 points of sincerity he gives will be felt by the other party by 5-7 points.
When your partner fails to do something, you should use praise and encouragement to convey the message that he or she is "great". And tell him:
If I were you, I probably wouldn't be able to do it to your level. Really, I admire you for being able to do such a difficult thing to such an extent.
When your partner succeeds in doing something, you will be even more excited than he or she is.And said to him:
you are really great! I'm really lucky to meet such a wonderful person like you.
A person who can get an incomparable sense of accomplishment from the people in front of him must not be willing to let himself be denied by others.
In a relationship, no one wants to listen to the preaching of the other half. I only want to feel the "benefits" in the positive guidance, so as to change my subjective consciousness.
In the relationship between men and women, no one wants to be someone who is completely irrelevant to the person in front of them, and no one wants to be the "strong one" in the eyes of the other half.
Why is it so difficult for some people to quit their "addiction" once they betray? It is because the third party has mastered the skill of praise and makes the betrayer intoxicated with the feeling of being admired.
Some people always think that "old husband and wife" do not need so many false language forms. It is precisely because of this that the betrayer feels that his "excellence" is not seen, so he looks for answers outside. When
meets a third party who "admires" him, the betrayer feels deeply happy and thinks: I am indeed very good, and I have finally found someone who appreciates me!
2: You must have " empathy " for your other half.
Living in the world, everyone has endless troubles and pains. Some people's experiences may be just the tip of the iceberg for others, but because of their different stress-bearing abilities, they are in great need of empathy.
Some people will stand on what they consider to be the "moral commanding heights" and say to the suffering of others:
Isn't that okay? Persevere, work hard, and you will be fine!
In fact, such a statement will really make people in pain have the urge to smoke them.
A person actually has the ability to empathize from birth. However, when adults are unable to empathize with others, it is not because they lack the ability, but because their selfishness and irrelevance allow them to hide their ability to empathize.
In a marriage relationship, one person has great expectations for his or her partner to be empathic. When the other half cannot empathize with themselves, people will feel frustrated and lost.
As a result, the original negative emotions will be superimposed as they are not empathized with, and eventually when their needs are satisfied by other members of the opposite sex, their feelings will change.
Moreover, as the relationship changes, his trust and dependence will also transfer.
Only by empathizing can you think in other people's shoes. Only those who can empathize with others can empathize with others.
people will always be willing to get along with people who empathize with them. This feeling of being empathized will make people feel happy and comfortable.
Never use your own lack of empathy to force your partner to other members of the opposite sex. You know, in the act of betrayal, some people are really "pushed" away by the person in front of them.
If you completely believe that you have no responsibility at all in this marriage and love relationship that lacks empathy and has experienced betrayal, then it only means that you are too "selfish".
Life is short. How you want to live and what kind of marriage and love relationship you want to have during your life play a decisive role in your happiness.
People who have never experienced betrayal should always improve their actual existence value and effectively prevent betrayal.
People who have experienced betrayal should ask themselves from now on whether they still want this relationship. If you want, then fix yourself as soon as possible and take valuable actions to repair the relationship.
Finally, I hope that all people in marriage and love can really go all out to manage their own lives and manage their own marriage and love relationships, without losing the value of reality, and know how to self-examine the reasons when encountering problems.
When you are willing to be a person who always improves yourself, no one will replace you because he is not qualified enough.
When you are willing to reflect on yourself first in all kinds of problems, there will be no obstacles to limit your pursuit of happiness!
—End—
Love is the purgatory of man in this world. Be it love or friendship, only when you meet the right person at the right time can you achieve success!
Topic discussion: What do you think is the most undesirable way to get along in a marriage relationship? Leave anything you feel uncomfortable saying to others in the comment area below!
