said that boys in the system are very popular in the blind date market, but I am still single. Although I have dated 10+ girls on blind dates in a few years, I finally understand that there is no material basis and a poor personal image. Even in the system, I still can’t marry. To my wife.
1.
I am a member of the system in my home town. I have been working in the system for nearly five years and I am in my early thirties. I didn't return to my hometown to become a public official until I was almost 30 years old. For my previous experience, it was a turning point in my life, allowing me to settle down.
It is not easy to get married and start a family in a small town.
Like me from the countryside, my parents are farmers at the bottom of the system. There are very few in the system. Most of the people in the system have their parents in the system, or their parents have a small business, or have a certain social status. Yes, living conditions are okay in the county.
But like I came from a rural area, I didn't buy a house in the city, I was old, and I didn't have a high EQ IQ, but I still don't want to find someone to marry, it is difficult to match the right person.
Some people say that male civil servants don't have to worry about finding someone. Indeed, I have introduced a lot of them. In recent years, I have been in touch with several girls on and off, but they have not succeeded. The self-confidence at the time was violently beaten by the world to the point that there was not much left.
I was very pessimistic at one time. I felt that I had no shining points all over, and I was introverted, couldn't speak, would not please girls. I was from the countryside, in bad conditions, not tall or handsome.
2.
Since the year before last, I have improved myself a little bit, tried to save money to buy a house, study hard to communicate between the sexes, and try to expand my hobbies. I know that my conditions are actually not good, but I still know that I am, and I will continue to improve myself.
①Learn skills that can interact with girls and be a person who loves life, such as photography, color matching, etc. Don't stay in your own world all the time.
②Be brave and optimistic. My emotional intelligence is not high. The big reason is that it is easy to be pessimistic about problems and lack of action. Tell your family that even if you are desperate, you must have hope in your heart.
On the other hand, the girls I met were not very satisfied, and did not arouse the feeling that I wanted to pursue it strongly. These girls are basically in education, health, and government agencies. Perhaps in the eyes of the introducer, you are a good match and very suitable for living. But in fact, these external conditions of blind date are just the prerequisites for you to meet each other, so that you can sit together and get to know each other face to face.
But the blind date is the first impression, more bluntly, it is the image. I seem to be a very superficial person. If the first impression is not good, I don't want to talk anymore, let alone chase after him.
In fact, girls basically have the same idea. Unless the other party takes the initiative, why should I take the initiative? To put it bluntly, everyone didn't like each other.
I have met a girl who is as old as I am. She has never posted photos on various social platforms. Our early chat was pretty good. She said that she doesn’t like taking pictures and she doesn’t like P pictures. But I want to see her photos, she found some time to post the photos to me.
is just a selfie. Even though I'm mentally prepared, I still got a little bit mentally. I never wanted to talk to her anymore. (Here, I do not comment on her appearance).
I immediately realized two points:
1. Under the absolute gap, those routines are actually useless. A flower-like girl masters the most powerful chat routines, and will not let people like her. Routines are just a lubricant suitable for people of the same level with each other, nothing more. So don't want to practice the awesome tricks all day long, it's the kingly way to improve your own value.
2. There are no ugly girls in this world, only lazy women. It's really unnecessary for a girl to dress up all day long, but when she is in her 30s, she still has a bare face, can't dress up, can't exercise to keep her figure, can't take good-looking photos, after all, there is still one word: lazy. Too lazy to act, but hope that someone can understand his beautiful soul through the body.
I self-reflection, aren’t I the same? Think that if you have a job, a car, and a house, there will be young and beautiful girls who like me?
I should look in the mirror to see my image-I am already bald. The circle above the head is very sparse,I am half bald! What a cruel reality!
My life seems to have been uneven along the way. In fact, I am quite satisfied with the status quo today. I want to stabilize, marry a wife and have children. As a result, life has not yet reached the time to enjoy peace, baldness is a barrier that cannot be crossed!
Think about it, the first time the woman saw this boy, all the conditions were okay, I thought I could try it out. As a result, when I lowered my head to eat, the hair on the top of my head was thin, soft and golden, and looked very old. The original goodwill was immediately brought back to reality.
What's even more funny is that girls don't directly say that you are bald, just that we are inappropriate.
3.
I have heard too much inappropriate, and I also faced too many 180° big turns. I don't know how they evaluate me behind the scenes. I didn't know the seriousness of the baldness problem until a girl communicated through an intermediary, and he had covered up your other advantages.
So, I think this is the problem of my repeated battles. Of course, we must find someone who can tolerate our shortcomings, but why don't we correct our own shortcomings first? We all say no, but only those who don't pay attention to themselves and try to make themselves better and more worthy are qualified to refuse the other half.
At this point, I seem to understand:
①When you don't match your ideals, don't blindly know many people, because these people are basically inappropriate people.
②We also need to correct our perfectionist view of mate selection. I now think that a person is good and personality is more important than anything.
③Don't wait until we are ready to talk about feelings. The fate is here, even if you are not ready, you have to brave the ground, even if you lose very embarrassedly, but this kind of enthusiasm and sincerity is rare, and it is also an attraction in itself.
Concluding remarks: I have been trying to make myself better, but I am also ready to remain single. Don't force, don't force, bravely and optimistically face the test of life, waiting for the only one.
Welcome everyone to exchange comments.
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