All sorrows will always leave a trace of joy, and all regrets will always leave a perfect corner.
—— Jimmy
Not long ago, I received a letter from a female reader.
Her story is very representative, the following is her story.
My first love is a military instructor in the university.
In 2000, I was admitted to the famous Wuhan University of Economics and Law with excellent results to study law.
At that time, freshmen who just enrolled had a half-month military training.
Kay is my military instructor.
He is not tall, handsome, and looks a bit like a Hong Kong movie star Louis Koo . Coupled with the long-term exercise of the troops, the muscles are strong, and the whole body exudes a kind of heroic stalwart.
Girls who have just gotten rid of heavy schoolwork are curious about life on college campuses, especially those of the opposite sex.
The little sisters in the same dormitory, the most talked about on weekdays, is our instructor Kai.
However, I clearly feel that Kay sees my eyes a bit differently.
I don’t think I’m a particularly beautiful girl, and I don’t plan to start so-called love on campus.
I turned a blind eye to Kay’s intentional or unintentional expression of goodwill.
The night before the end of the military training, Kay offered to invite me to dinner alone.
I don't know what kind of mentality, I agreed to him in a wicked manner.
Now that I think about it, maybe every woman has a monster lurking in her heart. That monster is called vanity.
During the meal, Kay talked a lot about him, his birth, family, hobbies and interesting life in the army.
Only the topic that always makes me uneasy is not mentioned.
Finally he told me that he was preparing for the military academy and he believed that he would be admitted to the military academy next year. Then he told me as soon as possible.
For the following year, we have no contact. Occasionally, I heard news from him, and I was talking with my roommate in the dormitory.
They have always kept in touch, and two of them reportedly confessed directly.
Kay does not seem to refuse, nor accept it.
When I was sophomore, I received his first letter. In the letter, he told me that he had been admitted to the military academy and confessed what my roommate had confessed to him.
Maybe it was his confession that touched me, I quickly replied.
Since then, we have communicated frequently, from the beginning of the cautious talk and the rest to the laughter and curse at the back.
The four years of university life, slowly passed through the anticipation of countless swan goose biography.
None of us pierced that layer of window paper, my heart has long regarded him as a boyfriend,I believe he is the same.
During the span, he sent me as many scarfs and gloves that his roommate wove him, which made me crowded out in the dormitory and never contacted me again after graduating from university.
approaching graduation, he proposed to come to Wuhan to find me.
I know what that means. I put on high heels for the first time in my life.
In four years, he has changed a lot, and he has become more heroic and upright; and I, too, have long since gotten rid of the youthfulness when I first entered school and faced the work and life of entering the society.
We held hands and boarded the Yellow Crane Tower , overlooking the Yangtze River, walking along the tree-lined road of the East Lake until late and late... _span4 pspan There were blisters on the soles of his feet, and his steps were no longer light.
At the hotel entrance, we hugged and said goodbye.
I dare not look at her, I close my eyes tightly, looking forward to the sweetest and happy first kiss.
such scenes did not appear.He kissed my forehead and told me to be careful on the way.
I am a little bit lost, and even more, I am moved inexplicably.
He went upstairs and I returned to school.
Later he told me that after graduation next year, he will be arranged to my city through the relationship of his parents.
The best things must be kept until the moment when two people are really together.
I did not wait for his arrival, but waited for another woman to appear.
The woman directly found my unit and told me that he and Kai had been together for two years. Their parents arranged for them to get married next year and hoped that I would stop entanglement.
At that moment, I completely broke down. I never thought that the man who gave me the best hope was such a scum man.
Without knowing it, I became a minor in the eyes of others!
I cannot accept such emotional betrayal, absolutely!
Kay called countless calls,I didn't answer it, and the anger of leaving made me never want to hear any voice from this man again.
After a whole week of illness, I changed my mobile phone number, left my original city, and returned to my hometown.
Kay completely disappeared from my world.
After being admitted to the lawyer's qualification certificate, I became a lawyer in a firm and got to know my husband.
husband is also a lawyer, well-known in the local area, now he also opened his own law firm.
We are very affectionate. We have two daughters, which are the envy of many people.
When dealing with emotional disputes, I occasionally think of Kai, and the sad first love, which quickly passes by.
The peaceful life was broken by a phone call, which was made by Kay.
Although in the past ten years, as soon as I heard the voice, I knew it was him.
At that moment, tears shed involuntarily,Large drops dripped on the hands.
Kay said that he owes me an explanation and hopes I can give him a chance.
Reason tells me that this is completely unnecessary. I am married, have a husband, have children, and have a happy life. His explanation is irrelevant to me.
However, I once again agreed to him, just like when he invited me to dinner alone.
Vanity is a monster lurking in a woman's heart, waiting to be eaten by someone at any time;
Unfortunately, it is buried deep in the abyss of women’s feet.
The meeting place is in a coffee shop.
He has been blessed, he is no longer as vigorous as he used to be, and the outline of his face is faintly visible from the past.
We are all old.
For more than ten years, he has been frantically looking for me, and he has been tossing around many times before contacting me.
The woman who had met him since childhood,I have always liked him very much, and the parents of both sides strongly approve of them being together. He never accepted it, it was women who came to me on their own terms.
When he knew it, it was too late.
At that time, he was participating in a drill and could not get out.
The exercise is over and everything is irreversible.
In frustration, he transferred to a place and never married.
He talked about his experience calmly, and I cried like a child.
All the goodness, all the anger, all the mistakes, all the regrets, all the tears that can't be stopped at that moment.
He gently embraced my shoulder, as if returning to the night before the hotel.
My mind was blank, let him hug the car and return to the hotel, there was a crazy and hot collision.
When I woke up, it was already late.
Looking at Kai who is sleeping,I fled and left the hotel.
When I got home, my husband had just picked up his two children and was preparing dinner.
I dare not look at them, dare not look at my husband, dare not look at my children.
Faced with the ardent eyes of my husband, I understand that I cannot live without this family and my children.
For a long time after that, I was totally in a daze and lost my soul.
my husband found that I was abnormal, and thought I was sick, so I went around to contact the doctor.
This makes me feel more unafraid and panic all day long. Several times, I couldn't help but want to confess, but after all I couldn't muster the courage.
I am afraid, I am afraid of losing him and this family.
I believe that I am not a bad woman, but I understand that I will finally be overwhelmed.
Finally, I asked her, did you continue to contact your first love?
she was silent,Nodded.
Conclusion:
after listening to her story for a long time.
I really don't know what to say.
She is engaged in legal work herself, and she will not fail to understand the legal consequences of extramarital affairs.
Standing on the moral high ground, I can completely accuse her of being unscrupulous and shameless.
But in this case, I still can't say it.
The relationship between her and her first love is pure and beautiful, with a platonic ideal and purity, which is by no means imaginable by most people.
The impulse of being young, coupled with all kinds of inaccuracies, beautiful love ends without a problem, leaving a lifelong regret.
It was this regret that made her see her first love boyfriend again, gave up ethics and family responsibilities, and stepped into the abyss of extramarital affairs.
Is it to make up for your regrets? Regret for your first love boyfriend? Or both?
she has actually made a choice: she will not leave the family,Leave the child.
Even if her first love boyfriend is not married, I believe she will not bond with him.
Plato said: The most regrettable thing in life is to easily give up what should not be given up and stubbornly insist on what should not be insisted on.
If she easily gave up her first love that shouldn't be given up is a regret in her life, the first derailment can be regarded as a compensation to herself, to the other party, and to life.
And now, he continues to keep in touch with his lover, stubbornly insisting that he should not insist on the second and third derailment, wandering between lover and family.
That is not regret, but desire.
A woman who is dominated by desire will eventually be swallowed by desire and will never recover.
Light tea and light wine, read the world and enjoy life.
The rest of my life is very long, trying to be an interesting soul.
I’m Mr. 28,Looking forward to your wise eyes to see through human nature!
(The pictures in the text are all from the Internet, and the names are pseudonyms. If there is any infringement, please contact the author to delete)
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