Internet: "If a girl does not give a bride price, will you marry?"
Many netizens below said that this is a rare thing, even if you encounter it, you must think twice. After all, no girl is stupid. , Other people want a betrothal gift, why don't you want it?
This incident was really encountered by the netizen Mr. Chen. He said that his girlfriend did not ask for a bride price, but his mother did not agree to the marriage for a long time.
I met a wishful person on a blind date, and he has a cheerful personality and a strong career.
Under the supervision of his parents, he went to date a few times, and he had a similar personality with a woman named Huang Ling, who was the same age as him, and had been busy with his career and delayed major events in his life.
After the two got together for a while, Huang Ling told him that she had once been in love. When it came time to talk about marriage, the other party thought she was a country girl and was a little bit down on her. Avoid contact, especially if you can't use money to subsidize your natal family.
She knows that the other party is worried about helping her younger brother. In fact, this is also the reality. She has 2 younger brothers and her mother is in poor health. Only her father works on the construction site. If she does not subsidize the family, the 2 younger brothers cannot continue. read.
But Huang Ling also reassures Mr. Chen, saying that now has two younger brothers working and will not subsidize the family anymore. She has been busy with her career for so many years and is not in a hurry to get married. She is worried that the man can’t understand, so she also lets Emotional things have been delayed again and again.
After listening to her, Mr. Chen felt that Huang Ling is a woman who values love and righteousness. On the contrary, he has a good impression of her. For his only child, his parents have already bought a house with full money, and the lives of the two after marriage will not be too difficult.
Huang Ling also showed her independence when she was in love. She would not take the initiative to ask for gifts. She would take turns to check out when she went out to eat, indicating that the feelings were equal. No one should pay more Some, as long as both parties are happy together.
Mr. Chen likes Huang Ling even more. He firmly believes that the other party is the sweetheart he has been looking for for a long time, and it is a blessing to meet him.
Do not make a wedding gift, ask the house to add a name
I chose an auspicious day, and the husband's parents bought a gift and came to propose the marriage.
During the meal, Mr. Chen's parents were full of praise for Huang Ling, saying that she was generous and decent and would also be able to handle affairs.
When it came time to talk about the bride price, the husband's parents were silent. They were guessing how much bride price Huang Ling's father would want. According to the local market, most of them were between 120,000 and 160,000. The situation of each family is different, and the amount is also different.
But everyone has a mentality, that is, you have to marry more daughters yourself, and you will refer to the village's newly married standards. If you want less, you will lose face and be misunderstood. Is there anything unspeakable about girls?
In this case, it is inevitable that Mr. Chen’s parents are nervous. After all, Huang Ling is a beautiful and stable career. They guess they will follow the highest standards, but this is also stressful for them. , Because I just bought a house, my family has already emptied their savings.
Some people persuaded them to buy a house with a down payment, and let the son and daughter-in-law repay the mortgage after marriage, so that the pressure is less, but Mr. Chen’s parents have different ideas. They also write the names of their parents. If their son and daughter-in-law have been married for 15 years and still have a good relationship and are filial to their parents, they will change their names to their sons.
In the final analysis, is also worried about the emotional instability of his son and daughter-in-law.In the end, there will be a shortage of people and money.
They have their own little abacus in their hearts, but their relatives smiled and said: " Our daughter does not need a gift, and will take 200,000 phone calls, as long as my daughter’s name is added to the house."
Mr. Chen's parents hushed each other and said that they wanted to go back and discuss it again. After all, it was a major event. After arriving home, Mr. Chen said that he loved Huang Ling very much, and it was fine to add a name.
My parents think the idea is too simple: "The gift is only a few hundred thousand, but the house is millions, half of which is hundreds of thousands. If you can't make it through, you won't regret taking medicine by then."
When dating, Mr. Chen also asked Huang Ling if he could change it. Huang Ling said:
" I am a girl and I just want a protection. I am at this age. I must hurry to have children after marriage. Maybe I have to resign. After 3 years, it will be very difficult for me to find a job again. There is no advantage in competing with young people. If you don’t love me, I really have no retreat. The house is fixed and I cannot move the house. , What I want is the confidence that I can live my life at ease."
Her words are very reasonable, but Mr. Chen’s parents disagree. They think this daughter-in-law is not easy and has not yet passed the door. Agree, but seeing that his son likes each other and hesitates, the family is very entangled.
Both the bride price and the name are a sense of security, and you must not put the cart before the horse.
In this case, both Mr. Chen and his parents actually got into a misunderstanding, that is, put Huang Ling in the opposite position.
Let’s take a look at Huang Ling’s conditions first. She wants to add a name to the house. In fact, it is a joint property of the husband and wife, and Mr. Chen’s parents also intend to give the house to his son and daughter-in-law 15 years later. Why are they not willing now?
The key to the problem lies in uncertainty.
In other words, they are worried about emotional instability and Huang Ling will split up half of the house. This is actually a false proposition. From another perspective, if a girl resigns after getting married to take care of her children at home, should she also worry about the man’s change of heart? strong2strong, if both sides think so, then they are all frozen together.
The essence of love is trust and devotion , whether it is a gift or a house, the man gives the woman a sense of security. You can't put the interests first, win the interests, and lose the feelings.
I like the words of a mother very much. She said: " I want to give a gift only to look at the attitude of the man. If the man does not pay a penny, he will not know how to cherish it. If he takes the energy to marry my daughter, he will She has more respect and marriage will be more stable.”
Yes, marriage is more stable than love. When both spouses form a family, they can have a stable space to raise their children. Relatively speaking, women will Paying more to the family is also the reason for the betrothal when getting married. When you have a child without a job, you still have some savings you can use.
The same is true for Huang Ling. She knows that Mr. Chen's house has just bought the house with full money, and she can't give out the gift for a while. She wants to give herself a guarantee in another way. She also wants to see her husband's attitude towards herself. is a good marriage A win-win situation, when both parties can trust each other, they can go further.
But if you treat this as a transaction, your feelings will change.
Qinzi once said: “ betrothal gifts and dowries are the greatest blessings of parents to their children, not the reason for moral kidnapping. They can be exaggerated.”
When each other is altruistic, It will reduce suspicion, and suspicion is the biggest obstacle to feelings.
here,I also want to tell Mr. Chen, If you really love Huang Ling, you might as well give the other party trust and agree to the party’s request. Of course, you can also make it clear and set a marriage period. There is no right to divide the house, which is a guarantee for both parties.
What do you think about this? Do you think Mr. Chen should agree to add Huang Ling's name to the house? What would you do if you were Mr. Chen?
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