I just attended Xiao Zhao's wedding last week. When I was having dinner with my parents at noon today, we heard the news that her parents had just divorced. We were discussing this matter at noon. A noun frequently appears-widowed marriage.
Lao Zhao is 48 years old this year, and his target is 46 years old this year and his surname is Huang. Then I will call her Aunt Huang.
Lao Zhao and Aunt Huang have been married for 24 years. When they got married, my parents also took me to a banquet. They were still young, but they still vaguely remembered them. They laughed very much when they got married. Sweet, they met through a blind date. Zhao is tall and Aunt Huang is beautiful and virtuous. It took a month for them to realize their marriage.
Xiao Zhao was born in the year they got married, a family of three, life is ordinary, but, his life is very long, after the first sweet period, the child is older, and there are more trivial things. The quarrel between the husband and wife appeared.
After young couples have quarreled, basically no one cares about each other.
As the saying goes: “It’s love to fight, it’s love to scold it, and it’s a curse not to beat or scold it!”, A quarrel can increase feelings, but many people have never thought that every quarrel also consumes feelings. If the increased feelings are not as good as the consumed feelings, then it will enter a cold war period.
My mother even went to the at that time. Xiao Zhao was only two years old. Zhao was late to go home because of overtime work. As soon as he walked in, he found that Aunt Huang did not leave him any food. Do. Without thinking about it, Old Zhao went to the kitchen to fry a dish and ordered a bowl of noodles.
Aunt Huang heard the movement in the kitchen, walked out of the bedroom and saw Lao Zhao eating noodles alone, she asked: "Where is mine? Help me to get a bowl."
"Have you not eaten? I didn't leave yours? I came back to see how clean the table is.I thought you were done! "Old Zhao replied casually.
Young couple who quarreled because of trivial things
Next, the two argued over this little matter. One said that I still need to take care of the children. Time to cook, just starve me, one said, I’ve been working hard for a day, and I don’t have a hot meal when I come home, how do I know you haven’t eaten. The reason why the husband and wife is not the more the argument becomes, the more the argument becomes. It’s the more you argue, the more angry you are.
Next is the sound of throwing plates and bowls, and the sound of the child being awakened and crying. We live in a yard. My mother loves the child, so she went to knock on the door. The fight was persuaded.
Since then, it has been common for Zhao and Aunt Huang to fight, and we don’t fight anymore, because after the fight, when the two appear in front of everyone, they look like a pair. Normal husbands and wives are as affectionate, and this situation continues until Xiao Zhao goes to high school.
Lao Zhao never went to the market to buy clothes or go to the supermarket to buy daily necessities with Aunt Huang. From the beginning of the quarrel between the two, they were personally responsible for themselves. The expenses of the child and the child’s expenses are shared. I still remember several times that the aunt in the yard asked Aunt Huang for advice on how to separate economically from the target. At that time, the smile on Aunt Huang’s face was not warm.
Daughter married, We are divorced
male host outside, female host, this is a tradition that has been handed down since ancient times. Aunt Huang cleans up the housework at home, and Zhao works outside to make money. Everything looks like a normal family. But every time the two quarreled, they would hear Lao Zhao say: "I work hard outside, isn't it just for you and the child to make money?" "Aunt Huang retorted him: "What are you doing outside? Where do I know? Then do you know what the child needs when he grows up a little bit?" I know money every day!
Xiao Zhao is not surprised at the divorce of her parents.On the contrary, he was calm, didn't complain about his parents at all. She knew very well that Old Zhao and Aunt Huang had no feelings. It was only because she had not married yet that she chose forbearance and no divorce. Now they saw that Xiao Zhao was also married and the task was completed, and the two of them were the fastest Speed chose divorce.
The divorced two became good friends. This is a typical widowed marriage and divorce.
Blind date is like blindfolded men and women. No one knows what life will be like in the future.
In fact, men and women born in the sixties and seventies, many of them met through blind date.
Which aunt next door came to ask if your kid or girl has a relationship? If not, what do you think of XX in XX's family? Would you like to let the two children meet up to get a better understanding?
Then, , from meeting to arranging the wedding, basically finished in one month, faster than the flash marriage of young people today. At that time, it was a big environment, and I would not consider whether the two people's personalities were suitable, whether they would be happy after marriage, and the child would be born soon after the marriage.
When you have a child, you are bound, is not easy to divorce at this time. Both of them are holding their children, so that the children have a complete family. Even if has found that the personality is inappropriate, Living together will not be happy, and the two will endure it.
Some people are waiting for their children to set up a family, bravely divorce, and end this widowed marriage. Some people feel that they are older.At this time, the divorce was too embarrassing, and it was too tossing, and finally chose a widowed marriage for a lifetime.
No communication and communication, only the symbol of "husband and wife" is left
There are two obvious characteristics of widowed marriage:
The first is the relationship between the husband and wife. Including love, it is more of a responsibility to the family.
The second is that when the love between two people comes to an end, there will be no more communication and exchanges.
Imagine that a husband and wife live together just to fulfill family responsibilities. The two of them do what they should do like robots every day, and then there is no communication or exchange. The existence of each other is a virtual reality. It doesn't matter what it is, there are obviously two people, there will always be one person like air, that kind of environment is absolutely depressing, and the two people are like strangers carrying them.
Family, you care about me, I care about you, hand in hand to spend the rest of my life
So how to avoid or save this widowed marriage?
As long as the relationship is not completely broken, and if you do not do something to be sorry for your partner, you will never finish from the details around you.
Don't just think about yourself in everything, buy a small gift for the other person occasionally, let the other person feel your mind, a single spark can start a prairie fire and change yourself little by little.
Don’t go home and hold your phone,Put down your mobile phones and talk about what happened during the day. Let the other person know what you have experienced during the day. Say goodnight to each other before going to bed. Don't become familiar strangers.
Don't lose interest in married life. It is the closest moment between husband and wife. Heart and heart are close together. Let life not lose passion.
No matter how late a man works overtime, ask a woman to leave him a light at home to let the man know that after a day of hard work outside, there are still people who care about him and love her are waiting for him, and everything is worth the effort. of.
No matter how strong a woman is, working overtime is too late, a man must pick her up. After you take a woman, no matter how tired life is, she will feel safe and warm.
Harmonious and happy family
Finally, I hope this article can help couples who are experiencing or about to experience widowed marriages. The marriage should have been happy. The two people realized that they were married and went all the way. Come, the process is not easy.
Since you choose to get married, you must also want to spend a lifetime with each other. If you encounter this kind of widowed marriage, you may wish to stop and think back to the origin of your first start. From now on It's not too late to make a change.
This article is original by Xiaoxiaoxinrou and also has a strong heart. Welcome everyone to discuss and share, make progress together in the world of emotional life, read emotional stories, and taste life.
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