180 days ago, we got the marriage certificate. We were officially married 134 days ago. In half a year, we lived under the same roof, but there were very few days when we really spent time together.
Number of fingers, in these 180 days, we have been together for less than half a month. After getting married, I took a 3-day vacation to accompany me, and I asked for a 1-day vacation to find a house. Once, I couldn’t keep up all night for several days, so I barely took a 1-day vacation and a 2-day holiday for the Dragon Boat Festival. At other times, sometimes I haven't taken a rest for a whole month, and sometimes I barely take a day off to go shopping with me.
When resting, the master still had to plan and didn't go to work and didn't make any money for a day.
I understand his hard work, but I feel lonely.
In recent years, left-behind children and rural left-behind women have gradually gained attention. But after the newly-married wife who is alone, who can feel her sadness?
The child dare not ask for it. The economic foundation is there, and he is not ready to be a mother.
Being a family is not an easy task. It is not an easy task to manage money, relationships, daily life... Only when you are a family do you know that you have to be careful even to buy a packet of salt. Housewives are not easier than work, but it is difficult for them to get social recognition for their contributions.
Buying vegetables, washing clothes and cooking, managing accounts, controlling living costs...Sometimes I feel that I am more difficult than I did during the college entrance examination. There are teachers and reference books before the college entrance examination, but no one teaches them. How do I organize my life.
Housewife is actually a high-pressure "job" (most people do not recognize the housewife profession), it is better to have a financial foundation or the ability to make money, otherwise the life will only be more difficult.
Once while cooking, Master said that the shredded potatoes I cut were potato chips, and I couldn't help crying. I feel particularly useless,Can't do a little thing well. This was originally a trivial matter, but at the time I felt painful. It seemed that I had worked hard for a long time, but it was completely rejected by the closest and trusted person.
Afterwards, I think about it carefully. It may be because I have no income, so I am too sensitive in family life and have low self-esteem. This is by no means a good sign.
I have read the discussion about housewives in the first issue of " Round Table Pie ". What is the value of a full-time wife? If you want to be a full-time housewife, the premise is that you have enough savings or your husband can make money. Many people actually have a prejudice against the housewife and feel that she has nothing to do. In fact, like full-time wives and housewives, they are almost omnipotent. She was responsible for a series of tasks such as childcare, family relations, housekeeping and so on. Almost alone did the work of nanny, teacher, finance and so on. Someone has calculated that if a mother's life's work is paid by the hour, almost no one can afford it.
But social prejudice is deeply ingrained, thinking that there is no value without going to work without making money. If the housewife’s education is higher, her ears will be heard every day.
In fact, for a family, housewives are also a division of labor. If two people have similar earning abilities, then going to work together is a win-win situation; if one earns enough money for family living expenses, the other can take advantage of this to improve their academic qualifications or learn some skills, and grasp it firmly when there is an opportunity. "The gentleman hides his tools and waits for the time to move." There is nothing wrong with returning to the family temporarily.
Housewives seem to have a lot of free time, but they are not. They are on standby almost 24 hours a day, all year round.
It takes a little time to buy groceries, cook and do sanitation, and to maintain the relationship with the relatives on both sides, and to socialize, so there is very little time for yourself.
Master and I get together less and more. He is busy almost every day until midnight or when he comes out too late the next day. When he came home in the middle of the night, I also figured out a way to make some food. He stopped later in the morning and I didn't get up to make breakfast.Before I got up at five o'clock to make breakfast, sometimes the master went home in the middle of the night and went out after six o'clock in the morning, and I also went to bed late and wake up early.
I was just fortunate enough to meet a good husband who was able to understand me, so we did not have too many conflicts on economic issues and family distribution. As soon as he takes off his dirty clothes, I wash it off, and I will pour him tea and cook when he gets home. He is also very considerate of me. He often sees the floor being dirty and drags it directly. Sometimes when I am too tired, he will cook, wash dishes, and wash my clothes even after a day's work. What he said the most was that you worked hard. Every time I said it was not hard, but I was very happy. My dedication is seen after all.
Master's monthly salary is transferred to me. In his words, he is only responsible for making money, and I am responsible for managing the money. If I said that the money was not enough to spend, would you blame me, he said, that only blamed him for making less money.
Our living condition is more than the top and the less than the bottom. Although the days are not particularly rich, we don’t have to worry about food and clothing. I have stayed at home for a long time and decided to register for a training class. Master directly asked me how much money I need, pay attention to the qualifications of the training school, and don't be deceived.
We still gather less and more. Sometimes he comes back so tired that he doesn't even want to say anything, and falls asleep. Living under the same roof can sometimes feel lonely.
But I know that Master has always worked hard for the family and always wanted to give me a better life. Every time I earn extra money, the first thing I do after get off work is to transfer money to me. When I deposited the money in the family account, Master was not too happy, saying that I spent less. In fact, I am not very interested in spending money, but Master always takes care of me and makes me feel very warm. He didn't have time to accompany me, let me go shopping more, what I wanted to buy.
Because I know that making money is not easy, so spend as little as possible. It's still the two of us, and we will still have a lot of pressure if we have children or want to buy a house or a car in the future.
I have always believed that "husbands and wives work together to cut money". As long as we work hard together, the future will get better and better. Until one day, I stumbled on the smell of smoke on my body.
At that time, the master was already in a 24 hour shift,Put the cables in the stinking ditch. I was a little angry at the time. He said that he was afraid that falling asleep would affect his work and smoke a cigarette to refresh his mind. I had heard his snoring while I was still arguing. I was so angry that I didn't fall asleep in the middle of the night, and didn't give him a good face when I ate the next day.
Later I smelled the second and third smoke. The third time, I even thought of divorce. Although smoking is not a matter of principle, I always respond in my heart. When I was in love, I said that I didn't like the people around me smoking. He didn't smoke before I was with him. I told him at the time that I was particularly disgusted with other people's smoking. When I was in love, the other party scalded me with cigarette butts. Fortunately, I hid quickly. I later realized that people who can't accept smoking should not find someone who smokes and then persuade him to quit smoking, but find someone who doesn't smoke. My standard is a non-smoker. Later, he showed no signs of relapse for several months, and I barely let go of the grudge.
I used to think that marriage is the end of love, but later discovered that it is not. Marriage is more complicated than love. Marriage is the beginning of a test of love and the end of youth. It can become a gas station and a safe haven for life, and it can also make people fall into hell and make people breathless.
To be honest, before I got married, I was not very satisfied with Master. My mother advised me not to be picky anymore, and because I took him to meet his family and admit his relatives, he has always disagreeed to break up and get the license... The night before getting the marriage license, my heart beat faster, and finally went to the Civil Affairs Bureau together.
To be honest, I regretted it after receiving the marriage certificate. Lying in bed at night, I kept crying, repeating the words "I regret so much". Master took me to the supermarket to buy a lot of snacks. We went to the restaurant and ordered all my favorite dishes. I wrote the menu myself, and the waiter was an aunt. She asked me if I was still reading, and said that I wrote very well. I was very happy for a long time. From studying to the present, in more than 20 years, this is the first time someone says that I write well. That aunt didn’t know, because of her words,I bought a pen copybook later, although the writing is still not good, but it is much better than before.
That night, I was thinking about why there is a cooling-off period for divorce but not for marriage? Why doesn't the marriage registry open a window within a few days to cancel the marriage registration?
I am not happy, only regret. I felt really cowardly. I didn't really want to marry this person, but because I was afraid of people around me and pressure from my family, I got a marriage certificate in a bewilderment.
I didn't feel much joy. I ignored what the master said. I cried and fell asleep.
In April, I went to Suzhou for an exam and didn't want to come back. In May, Master and I discussed going back to the divorce at the end of the year. From June to July, when I was chasing me for my pre-marriage master, I was still chasing others in my heart and felt unhappy.
Even if the case is full of eyebrows, the intention is hard to settle. Cao Xueqin is really hot. No matter how happy our current life is to outsiders, the hurdle in my heart can never be beaten.
Those problems left over in love will only be magnified in marriage, and even if they are resolved, they will leave traces after the resolution.
We tacitly mentioned each other without deliberately mentioning it, but in each other's hearts we knew each other's situation.
The turning point of things happened one morning.
At eight or nine o'clock that morning,The master suddenly ran to the back door and knocked on the window of my room. It turned out that he secretly went shopping for vegetables and fruit while eating breakfast, then swept a car near the construction site and rode to the road not far from home, and ran back all the way.
Seeing his smile when he looked at me, I suddenly let go of it. In marriage, life is more important than love or not. The person you love may not be able to go to the future with you; the person who loves you may not always be devoted. Appropriateness is more important than love. This sentence is about to be said to be bad, and I slowly believed it after I got married.
When I almost broke up before, a small incident brought a turn for the better. I quarreled with him about him chasing two girls at the same time. I was determined to break up and he refused. After the quarrel in the middle of the night, I was so angry that had a stomachache and had a cold sweat. I asked him to boil water for me. He boiled the water, fried a plate of greens, fried two eggs, laid noodles, and went out to buy medicine before the bed. It took almost forty or fifty minutes before he came back. He quickly took a cup and poured water, and said it was too late. The drugstore was closed, and it took a long time for him to buy it. At that time he was riding a motorcycle, still in winter.
I was eating hot noodles, and suddenly I realized one thing, In the end, what marriage needs is a person who knows the cold and the heat to support each other. Going on is more important than how much love you have. People who love each other are not necessarily suitable, but the right people are less tired and comfortable with each other.
From my marriage to the present, Master still treats me the same. When I am hungry in the middle of the night, he will still get up and give me underneath, or ride a bike to buy me grilled gluten, fried rice, roast For snacks like chicken legs and roasted duck legs, I didn’t forget to buy some milk and fruit on the way. No matter how late, as long as I say hungry, he will sleep dullly and say "I will get up and cook noodles for you".While talking, he closed his eyes and grabbed the clothes.
I really like the actor Qi Wei 's words, true love is not asked for, it is managed by myself. Intuition tells me that at the beginning, I was not Master’s first choice, but what does it matter?
I also have my own white moonlight and cinnabar moles, and even their contact information, but we have not been in contact for a long time, and they don't know about my marriage. Sometimes I think, if the one who married me was Bai Yueguang or cinnabar mole, I would miss Master like I miss them now and then, right?
Grandma and Grandpa Zhang Ailing Well said, there is no feeling, not full of holes. How can anything in the world be completely happy? This matter is hard to come by, so why embarrass yourself.
The more you experience, the more you feel that the ending of a film and television drama is the biggest lie. It always ends with a happy ending, but how can there be good things in life that all parties wish for?
We may not love each other so much, but we still have a little love. Maybe I hate you very much now. Tomorrow I want to make you a plate of cola chicken wings and steamed sea bass that you love. Most ordinary people stumbling and stumbling when they get along with each other in marriage.
Compared to domestic violence and hand-slapped shopkeepers, Master is already considered good. Frankly speaking, I actually hesitated between Master and another person, because I was a face control and geographical problem, I turned to Master from the other person's side. People are realistic, I can plan for myself, why can't others?
Ordinary people have the difficulties and calculations of ordinary people,He thinks I am suitable, and I think he is the best solution of the range I can choose at the moment, so we come together. It sounds tacky and realistic, but after all, life cannot be continued by talking about love. We need love and bread. He makes money, I take care of him, and support each other for a lifetime, and there is nothing wrong with it.
When I was young, I only wanted to marry love. Later, it was really suitable to marry, but love still exists. This is 25 years old me. I was 24 when my partner was about to marry me. I kept asking him if he was right or like it. The other said both. I continued to ask which one was more suitable and I liked more. The other answered more suitable, but I still liked me very much. . I was very angry at that time, you marry me just because it fits? The other party can't help but explain, there is no suitable way to like it? Life needs to be appropriate, and liking is also part of the appropriateness. I walked away very quickly at that time, and then we shot and broke up and never met again.
Now think about it, the other party is telling the truth, but the 24-year-old me and the 26-year-old him do not think in the same dimension. However, there is nothing to regret, after all, I am Yankong, I was really loyal to the value of the face at the time, and finally the value of the face. For a long time, even if people say that he is handsome every time I go to the street with him, I feel no more. When I get used to it, I don't think the other person looks good at all.
Where the relationship begins, it is easy to end where. After that incident, I no longer regard being handsome as one of the criteria for choosing a mate, but I still like to be thin.
Later, when I met Master, I didn't know why, but I always couldn't help but look at him more. Then we went into marriage together.
It has been less than half a year since I realized that I fell in love and then got married. My brother said that I should be cautious about flash marriages. However, the sense of steadfastness that I have never had before made me choose to believe. Even though there was a grudge between me and Master (and may not let it go), we still believe that each other is the most correct choice for each other.Master said that when he is with me, he has an unprecedented sense of steadiness, which is not available when he is with others. Since the day we fell in love, he has never thought about the issue of me leaving him or he leaving me, as if there was a voice in the meditation center telling himself, um, this is the person in front of him. I have always been an atheist and believe in the materialism of , but at that moment, I began to believe that there is a mutual bond in the world.
Now we gather less and more, and occasionally stumble, but Master still lets me take care of the money every month, and I will give him pocket money every month, and I will continue to wash and cook for him when I am angry. Then we sat together watching TV and playing cards. Although life is not rich and expensive, and sometimes worry about money, we are full of hope.
In marriage, what makes a woman give up her heart is never to gather and divorce more, but that men have no love and respect for her. If you don't give her money or love her, what else does she want you to do? Wife can make money, but the husband should cherish his wife more. The same is work. Doesn’t the wife have to work hard? Even if the wife has no income, she has paid a lot for the family. If you love her, you must consider her more. There is no knot that can't let go, just look at each other's willingness to work hard.
Marriage where there is little gathering and separation requires two people to work together to take care of the business. A little more understanding, a little tolerance, and a little support to build a beautiful love nest together. But if it's just a single-handed battle, no matter how much you love each other, let's forget it as soon as possible and let it go! Let yourself go, let go of the other person, don't miss, stride forward, not far away, there must be a scenery that belongs to you.
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