I quarreled with my family, and I complained to my girlfriend last night that I wanted to buy a house, but when I heard that my husband’s savings were too small, it was beyond my imagination.
My girlfriend first asked how much my husband had saved, and then said that it was actually quite normal, and she was almost the same, and then asked how much I saved.
The number I said surprised her, and immediately asked me how I saved it.
I am embarrassed to say: "I have been frugal since my graduation internship. After I got married, I used to spend money on public transportation, eating out, and big expenses at home. Basically, all of my money is saved. I'm managing money..."
I felt a little embarrassed after I finished talking, and I guess my girlfriends were quite speechless to me.
In fact, she reconciled with her family that afternoon, but as a mature woman who has been married for many years, the two contradictory mentalities of "reluctant to be separated from each other" and "want to strangle each other" are fully capable of coexisting harmoniously.
My husband is simple-minded and easy to coax. He is an out-and-out smooth donkey. As long as he is smoothed, he can do whatever he wants. He can always be responsive to me, pleasing and patience (he said he was afraid I lose my temper emotionally), but I will endure it to a certain extent, and it will always break out. Once it breaks out, it will be judged as two people-the specific performance can refer to the rabies outbreak.
The rhythm of our quarrels is basically the same every time: the sky is cracked, the anger swallows the mountains and rivers, weeping (me), hysterical, and swearing at each other, we vowed to meet each other early the next morning and go home to get their registered permanent residence and go to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce.
In the face of my crying, my husband has always been hard-hearted and turned a blind eye to this. His explanation is: "Usually I have to bear you very much. If you are not happy, I will try my best to coax you, but when I quarrel, I I can’t do it! Because I’m also a person! I am also very wronged and angry. I can’t go against my conscience to coax you!”
So, as an emotional woman with backbone and perseverance, I just Will keep crying.
My husband's performance is that he is impatient, ignored, and tries to resist silently by sleeping.
But, as stubborn as me, how can he let him fall asleep?
I would keep pounding at him with my fingers or shaking him-in short, "I can't sleep, and you don't want to sleep!"
Under this constant torture,The indifference and composure my husband pretended will gradually disintegrate, until it collapses, and again rabies, and then we will have another round of the world, anger swallowing mountains and rivers, tears streaming down (me), hysterics, and swearing at each other, vowing to meet each other the next day. Early in the morning, I went home and took my account book and went to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce...
After such a tossing round, I will continue to cry in the storm, but I dare not beat him anymore.
After getting up the next day, after a night of recuperation, the physical strength of the two has been significantly restored. At this time, the two sides will enter the cold war phase—seeing each other as air.
My husband washes up to work dignifiedly. I usually close my eyes and meditate. I don’t see my mind or get upset. I wait until the other person goes out before getting up and jumping.
After I arrived at the company, I had no intention of working at all. I was depressed, weak in limbs, lost all thoughts, self-pity, compassion for others, landing on Douban and outputting crazily (Tucao)... This state of exhaustion will basically last for at least one morning. , I usually get too annoyed to eat lunch.
In the afternoon, my sorrows can no longer be digested by myself, and most of them will talk to my girlfriends.
While complaining with my girlfriends, they even provoke the family members via WeChat. The two seriously reviewed the details that they had missed during the quarrel yesterday, and accused each other for several rounds.
By the way, my husband’s reserved item after a quarrel is to work overtime-the night of the quarrel must work overtime until late at night, (I think he is) escaped home and continued the hot fight.
When I first got married, this fierce hot war + cold war lasted for the longest two or three days. I often cried because my eyes were too red and swollen, and I couldn't even wear contact lenses the next day.
And now, when the stalemate between the two sides lasts for at most one day, someone will be softened first-usually it is me.
The reason for the softness of the service is not only reluctant, but also lack of physical strength. As I get older, I feel that quarreling is really too tired. It often makes me feel physically and mentally exhausted, dizzy, and my physical fitness. I really couldn't bear this double torture of mind and body, and I had to make things smaller and die early.
Fortunately, we both have a good point, that is, we are very good at admiration. As long as someone gives me a step,The other party can basically do it on the slope.
all say don’t talk about divorce when quarreling, but to be honest, every time I quarrel, I really feel that I can’t live it anymore-this feeling is very real. Thinking about it now, it’s definitely an immersive collapse: How can you do this to me? ! Instead of this, the long-term pain is worse than the short-term pain! Don't delay either of us! !
Who doesn't know that quarrels hurt feelings? But emotions come and go like volcanic eruptions. When it is said that it is late, it is fast, it will be both prosperous and damaged. The blood of the punch is like a firecracker. It is difficult to stop halfway.
However, when I woke up the next day, especially after the other party went out, I was sitting in an empty home (usually there are only 2 people in the house). I thought that the other party was about to leave me, and then I thought that it would not be long before the other party might be back. I will fall in love, marry, and marry another wife. I guess it’s so beautiful that I can’t even remember who I am... The more I think about it, the more I feel unwilling, unacceptable, sad and angry, and it’s harder to calm down. You can't just let it go and make the other party cheaper!
When the two of you don’t quarrel, the other party behaves okay. Finding another one might not be as good as this. If you work hard, you should be able to make do with it... So, my heart is softened, and I was clamoring for a divorce before. The ambition was immediately broken into a slag.
So and so, alternately back and forth, after every quarrel, I personally clean up the chicken blood and chicken feathers I have sown, rubbed and wiped the innocence in my heart, and continue to make do with it.
My best friend said: "Isn't this pretty good? It's over after the quarrel~ What can't you get through?"
I said: "It's not good at all. Every time I finish the quarrel, it's like muddy mud. There is no contradiction at all. No solution, just like a bookmark, I have to turn it back next time I quarrel~"
"Well, isn't anyone like this?"-I don't know if my girlfriend comforts me, I always feel like a pimple Must be resolved, contradictions must be clarified.
However, some contradictions really cannot be resolved. If you don't want to fight, you can only fool around and let it go.
According to my husband’s words: “It’s good to be able to fool you for a lifetime.”
depends on whether you can fool you~
He was physically and mentally exhausted when he entered the house.
At that time, I was spitting out with my girlfriend. He was so sad and happy. When he entered the house, he panicked and raised his face and called out to the girlfriend on the other side of the phone urgently, "Stop talking now, my husband is back. Tomorrow I will tell you again~"
Thinking with his toes, my husband can guess that I am scolding him, but he didn't make a sound (I'm probably afraid of saying the wrong thing and quarreling again).
It was around 5 o'clock in the morning, and the family members got up early again to pack their things for a business trip.
Before I left, I hugged him like a boneless long worm, reluctant to give up-just like a quarrel, this is also the normal state of our married life.
After my family left, I couldn’t help but reflect: I once said that I don’t want him to be influenced by me, and I hope that two people are happy together. I shouldn’t pass on my anxiety and pressure to him. Why did I forget it? ?
The reason why he is willing to marry me is because he believes that I can bring him happiness, right?
suddenly felt that I was doing quite badly.
Thinking of the night of the quarrel, I asked my family how much money they got after taxes, and he asked me how much I could get in a rage.
He stopped talking after I said it.
Now that I think about it, I think I'm kind of an asshole.
can't help but scold myself: "It's so stupid! Why is this?! Make the other person feel that you are a failure, will you be wary of you in the future?!!!"
Remind yourself again not to be emotional and do things Absolutely, speaking more than thinking.
Don’t be happy for a while, after the addiction, but after the fact, it’s hard to get off.
Isn’t it good to be a vixen who can be coquettish and flexible, coax her husband around and then willingly saddle herself up?
Why have to go head-to-head and hurt your feelings, the other party is uncomfortable, you are not happy, both lose and lose, and you are not thankful.
Do not do to others what you do not want to.
Think more about how to use softness to overcome rigidity, and do less "injury the enemy 800 and self-injure 1500".
must be a lesson, a lesson, and a lesson.
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