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01
There is a passage in Dale Carnegie's "Advice to a Woman's Lifetime Happiness": "After marriage, many men lose their aggressiveness and their awareness of hard work, which is directly related to their wives. Relationship. The husband's thoughts are always attacked by the wives at will, they always sigh, keep nagging and complaining, and dislike why their husbands don't make as much money as others, they always throw cold water on the hopes and dreams of the husbands, how can the husbands Not discouraged? "
The ideal and aspirational man is discouraged because of his wife's nagging and complaining. It's really pitiful. Their wives are really disgusting, but not all marriages have such problems. Some men are not aggressive and have nothing to do with their wives, but only about themselves.
For example, some phoenix men try to turn around by marrying a daughter of a wealthy family. Once their wish is fulfilled, they will lose their aggressiveness and feel that they have reached the peak of life and do not need to work harder. When a man is complained by his wife and looks down on it, he can't say that his wife has a problem. His wife is in good condition, and he definitely doesn't want you to take advantage of it. You have to give something and do as she asks, and she will be psychologically balanced. .
is like what my friend Xiaofang said about her ex-husband: " Although I rely on my good conditions and do not have high requirements for him, it does not mean that I have no requirements for him, otherwise I will not need to get married, Why bother to find someone to come to me for free food? Since he has benefited from me, he has no reason to not care about my requirements and feelings.Besides, I'm not that kind of unreasonable person, I didn't make any excessive demands on him, I just asked him to make progress, don't count me, he can't do it, just ask me what else can I live with such a person mean ? "
02
The reason why Xiaofang once made mistakes in her marriage is like many women with similar conditions. .
Xiaofang's ex-husband A Rui belongs to such a person, he thinks they complement each other, he is a good man The phoenix man who wants to turn over, Xiaofang happens to be the daughter of a wealthy family that he dreams of, and feels that by marrying her, he can save decades of struggle, and he can eat and drink spicy food without daring, and at the same time, he can "one person" Get the right way, and let your family benefit.
Similar marriages are usually ruined by the "greed" of Phoenix men. This kind of greed will inevitably make the woman dissatisfied, which will make the marriage unbalanced and even destroy .
Xiaofang said that the reason why she chose to marry A Rui was because he was good to her before marriage, and he was motivated. Such a man can help him keep money together, and can make good use of his family's money. I didn't expect that after he got married, he seemed to be a different person.
She was already very disappointed with him, but he planned on her apartment again, and wanted her to give it to her sister-in-law. She thought that she could get it, and she decided that Xiaofang people would not refuse because of the stupid money, but she completely annoyed Xiaofang. , and ended up in the end of a self-inflicted divorce.
This kind of marriage often ends up like this. The root cause is that the two people were not the same person from the beginning, and they did not have the same direction. They are destined to not be able to unite after marriage. The woman was indignant and felt that why, when the trouble was too much, she would break up in one shot.
It is also a divorce, and the impact on both parties is different. In contrast, the man's loss will be great, because what they lose is not only a marriage, but a long-term financial path. As for women, they just gave up a marriage and lost a part of the money, which has little impact. I have already taken advantage of me a lot. I didn't care about him. I have done my best to him. He doesn't know how to cherish it. I will let him get no benefits from me. Anyway, I don't care. As for him, leave me But it's not so good! "
03
is not only Xiaofang, but also for other women. When there is a problem of "love but not" in marriage, when a man does not listen to your good words, you have already determined that he is yours. When it comes to the person you should love, there is really no need to stay, let alone to keep it, because it is not your fault, it is his loss when he loses you, and it is not a loss if you leave him, it can only be regarded as a timely stop loss for yourself.
Many times in life you need to do subtraction, especially when faced with things like feelings that are easy to fall into, you should learn to give up, things that are useless to you, things that you give but get no return, should all be timely Throw it away, otherwise it will not only rot in your hands, but also eat away at your happiness .
Especially for women like Xiaofang who are worse than men, it is not fair to you to love a man whose conditions are not as good as yours. If a man does not know how to make up the gap between you, he will keep on If you don't listen to your good words, you don't want to live a good life with you, you shouldn't stay, you shouldn't keep it, the most you should do is to say goodbye cruelly, and let him stay wherever it is cool.
What needs to be noted is that It is not enough to say goodbye to the person you shouldn't love, because your life will continue, and you will need to face new feelings later, you need to take advantage of the opportunity to stop loss in time to adjust yourself , and reflect on why you loved the wrong person before, and what adjustments should be made in order to no longer love the wrong person, so as to make your future relationship smooth.
