Loving someone is not about being more active, the better, but knowing how to do the right thing at the right time.
Sometimes, if you do not take the initiative, the other party may love you more and even care about you more and more.
Therefore, in your relationship, you must know the timing, take the initiative when you should take the initiative, and be reserved when you should not take the initiative, and learn to exercise restraint.
In a relationship, the less active these three aspects are, the more they love you.
01
not humble please
a relationship, the result is more humble to please self-esteem.
We think that to love someone is to be nice to one person, and to love someone is to keep investing in this relationship.
Actually,There is nothing wrong with loving someone, and there is nothing wrong with giving, but if you just blindly please you, the result may only be counterproductive.
The pine nuts in the movie "The Life of the Disgusted Pine Nuts" have had several romances, but each time they meet a scumbag.
Observe carefully, you will find that every relationship of Songzi is constantly pleasing to men and constantly compromising for men.
Until the end, the pine nuts are in a kind of flattering-asking for love-being abandoned-flattering.
When you are too humble to a person and keep giving for the other person, you will begin to suffer from gains and losses.
Because you pay, there will be expectations, and if there are expectations, there will be gaps. When there is no corresponding return, we begin to doubt this relationship.
Don’t lose your dignity when you love another person. Too humble love is destined to be fruitless.
02
strong 46strong strong 46strong strong 46 strongThe sense of security is given by oneself, not from others.
Many people also understand this truth, but how many people can do it.
We have been through the outside world to gain a sense of security throughout our lives, relying on others emotionally, and relying on others in our lives.
But can the outside world really give us the so-called sense of security?
The answer is no.
Only ourselves can give us a sense of security in this world, and the sense of security given by others is only temporary.
On psychology , there are two kinds of sense of security. One is the sense of security of survival, which is to ensure that oneself will not be harmed by the outside;
3p29p_span It is the security of the relationship, that is, you can be recognized, liked, and accepted by the people around you, and others will not leave and abandon suddenly.
The security of the relationship can be divided into external security and internal security.
External security is the external manifestation of security.It is easier to observe. For example, a girl is thinking about whether my boyfriend loves me or not.
The inner security is our feelings and feelings of ourselves in a relationship. It is not obtained through external thoughts, but more is the sense of security that we give ourselves, this internal sense of security It is the most precious.
03
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Make the relationship between two people more harmonious and harmonious.
No matter how loving couples watch every day, they will feel tired, and a proper distance will beautify the relationship between the two.
There is a " hedgehog theory " in psychology, which comes from the story: two sleepy hedgehogs hug each other due to the cold.
But because they have thorns on their bodies, the thorns make the other person uncomfortable to sleep.
and so they moved a distance,But it was too cold to bear, and they got together again.
After several toss, the two hedgehogs finally found a suitable distance: they can get each other's temperature without being stabbed.
The hedgehog theory tells us that no matter how good your relationship is, two people must leave a certain distance.
If two people get too close and lose their sense of mystery, the other person will lose their freshness to you.
And your sense of borderlessness will put some invisible pressure on the other party. After a long time, the other party wants to flee you instead.
There is such a lyric: is always in turmoil, and is loved without fear.
The harder it is to get a person, the more precious it is.
Loving someone is not a humble person to please,It's not just asking for it, I love you and myself, and I will become a better person for the other person.
“To the Oak” once said: I love you, not only for your stalwart body, but also for the position you insist on, the land under your feet.
A good relationship is when two ordinary people work together to become sparkling people.
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