01
After swimming back in the morning, I called my mother who was far away in Xinjiang Kashgar: "Mom, are you tired of 7span_span2 today?" Span6span’s mother flew to Kashgar, Xinjiang some time ago. My father and elder brother contracted land to grow cotton in Kashgar. My mother was worried about the two of them and flew over to work with them.
My two sisters and I didn’t want her to go. They felt too hard. My mother said: "Can I not go? If I don’t go, your father and your brother may both be both. I can’t eat. I’m okay now. Why do I stay idle? Of course I’m going to help them. I’ll help your brother for another year and earn more money. I will rest with your dad."
mother She is 62 years old and she is in good health. She is a person who can't stay idle. She has planted land for most of her life and exerted her strength for most of her life. So far, she still hasn't planted enough. There are four children in our family. The three sisters are already married and don’t have to worry about their two elders. The only thing that worries her is my brother. The old man wants to buy him a house in the city and wants to earn more money to achieve financial freedom early Worrying about two grandchildren, in a nutshell: Most of the parents in the countryside are like this, and they work for their children and grandchildren all their lives.
My parents are very considerate of their children, and they don't bother us a few.
We will also give them money every New Year’s and holidays,But my mother always refuses: "Why do you give me money? I'm not old enough to provide for the elderly? You only need to take care of yourself. It's not easy to raise children one by one. Your mother. I can still make money.”
mother said that, some of us will take the initiative to give her, if we don’t give it, we will feel ashamed.
Some time ago, I gave birth to a second child in January, and my mother came to help me confinement. She said nothing, so I bought her a gold necklace. She said "What are you doing with that money", but she was very happy after wearing it. The relationship between our children and their mother is like this: She doesn't let us be filial, and we will take the initiative to treat her, take the initiative to call her, take the initiative to care for her, take the initiative to talk to her. There is a natural relationship between us, without the burden and burden of who is who.
The relationship between children and their parents is very harmonious in my opinion. The most important thing is: The parents don’t know what to do with us, they will think for us, and their good will make us take the initiative filial piety.
My parents never trouble their children because they feel that they are okay, but some parents are especially troublesome for their children. They treat their children as a tool for their own support, and they kidnap morally at every turn, leading to follow-ups. The relationship between children is particularly tense.
I tell a very realistic story, you can realize how much burden and pressure this kind of parents put on their children.
02
Are you thinking about letting your son and daughter-in-law support you? _Span7span
Jiahui talked about her last marriage, but there was nowhere to say it.
Jiahui was young and ignorant when she was 21 years old. She thought it would be enough if she had love, but she didn't expect it. The reality of marriage is so cruel. At that time, " nude marriage era" was also being staged. Jiahui and her husband also caught up with fashion, and the two got married naked.
When they got married, Jiahui's mother said : _Span7span "You, silly girl, I feel so sorry for your in-laws and don't let them pay any money. You will know how stupid you are in the future. I'm telling you, don't come back to cry for me if there is no place to cry, I think you are ashamed. Is there a girl like you? I asked for a bride price with your mother-in-law, but you turned your elbow out of the way and got the certificate by yourself. You have to know that you can't live without money, and your in-laws are not a lively person. "_Span7span
"Mom, I know, you are not vulgar. I choose the road all day long, so I won't regret it. _Span7span
Jiahui was very convinced of her love at that time, and when she returned to her mother, her words were provocative and self-willed.
What is a naked marriage?
p0 I got a certificate. There is no gift, no wedding, no house or car, so I married myself so cheaply. When Jiahui got married, she still rented an apartment with her husband.
ridiculous What is it? After the parents-in-law knew that they had obtained the certificate,Within a week, I came with large bags from my home village. Jiahui is not used to living with her in-laws, and besides, the house they rent is quite small, where so many people can live.
Later, they had no choice but to rent a two-bedroom and one-living house. Then Jiahui became pregnant, and her in-laws couldn’t leave. The mother-in-law said, "You are pregnant, and someone needs to take care of you." She said that she said, how to take care of her, at most she cooks a meal, not even the housework.
The mother-in-law also said to her: "Now my son is married, and I will be able to rely on you in the future." : _Span7span "Mother-in-law, you are less than 50. I think you are in good health, why should we raise them? What are the parents of others, and try to save money for your son and daughter-in-law, but you are good. . I tell you, I don’t support you. You don’t want to get money from me. If your son is willing to raise me, it’s fine, but it doesn’t include me."
"What is this marrying?"
Daughter-in-law, you are an unfilial daughter."
Jiahui couldn’t bear it. She continued: "What kind of daughter-in-law did I marry? I shouldn’t consider it for you. If you can’t afford it, you deserve to have your son not marry a daughter-in-law. Blame me for being so stupid that I got on your thief ship."
The relationship between her mother-in-law was very tense, and her mother-in-law still did nothing.
Jiahui is very wronged, her husband has just started a business,She doesn't have much money in her hands. She runs an e-commerce business by herself, but the business is just getting started. What kind of money can the two of them have. In the end, it caused a divorce within three years of marriage, and Jiahui's child did not give birth. The main reason was that she was in poor health and stopped when she was five months pregnant.
This marriage has caused her great psychological damage, and she never thought that there were such shameless parents who "nibbled their children". Parents are thinking about earning money for their children. They do well. They feel that they have completed their tasks when they raise their children, and they can do nothing at all.
03
Let’s continue to talk about the topic of elderly care.
My parents are in their 60s, but they feel that they are healthy and they are willing to continue to help their sons without causing trouble to their daughters. They have nothing to do with their children, and our daughters are very filial to them. Of course, we don’t expect them to make money for us. After we get married, they think about their sons and want to continue to make money. Our daughter will not take them a cent.
We have grown up and will support ourselves. In fact, after my sister and I graduated from college, we didn't let our parents pay a cent. We spend the least money from them, but we are very grateful to them. Do you know why? Because I think the love of parents for their children is not only material.
It’s okay for my parents to rely on us if they don’t work, but they will take care of us, that’s enough. Because of their kindness, we are willing to obey them.
Let’s look at Jiahui’s in-laws.
Jiahui’s in-laws are less than fifty, so they want to let their son and daughter-in-law take care of them.Such parents are gnawing on their children and burdening their sons and daughters-in-law. Think about it, the juniors still have their own families, they don't even have a house, and there will be huge life pressures in the future. How do they support you? If Jiahui’s in-laws were like my parents, their relationship would not be so bad, and Jiahui was forced to divorce in the end.
The relationship between parents and children is independent and dependent on each other.
mutual independence means that when children reach adulthood, don’t just think about relying on their parents, but dare to work hard to make more money. For parents, if they are in good health, they can also find a job to do so that they don’t cause special problems for their children. Great pressure.
Interdependence means that if a child needs parental help to bring the child, the parent can help. If the parent is sick, the child can take care of it. When the parent is older, the child adopts the parent.
means this. You are like waiting for my parents to be 70 years old in the future, and when they are not in good health to the old age, several of our children will take the initiative to give money. A daughter gives one thousand a month, and my parents can spend enough. And by that time, our own children have grown up, and we have the time and energy to take care of our parents to support them.
So, don’t kidnap anyone with family affection, don’t cause drag and trouble to each other when you practice each other. Children must be independent, and parents must also be independent, and the children will naturally take care of them when the parents are not healthy and need to provide for the elderly. But if the parents are less than 50 years old, they want to let their children take care of them, which is a bit too much.
is mostly for each other's sake, rather than just thinking about doing nothing. Children must be independent, and parents must be independent when they are in good health. Only in this way can there be a good family relationship.
Today’s topic: Have you ever met in-laws who want to let their children take care of them before they are fifty? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotion original author, wrote this warm feeling things in the world.
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