Who is giving birth to? This issue has now become a controversial and highly heated family topic.
Some people think that giving birth to a child is for oneself, that is, a woman gives birth to a child for herself.
And some people think that the birth of a child is for the man’s family, the heir of the in-law’s family, that is, for the in-law’s family.
These two views have a certain sense of reason.
You just said, do you have children for yourself? Of course it is for yourself.
A child is a piece of flesh that falls from a woman, a part of the mother’s body, and the most intimate flesh and blood. It is also through the wishes of a woman that the child can be born to the world, the child can be supported by the parents in the later years, and the woman is the mother It's the same to receive the same treatment and rewards. Why is this not for yourself?
Is it for the mother-in-law to have children? thats right.
After all, according to our long-standing tradition, when a woman marries a man’s family, she is actually a member of the man’s family. The child born is the man’s surname, and will be regarded as the man’s orthodox descendants in the future. To put it plainly, It’s harder to hear. It’s also someone who can justify the photos of the elders a hundred years later. Heirs who can inherit the family property are “pro” and not “outside”. That is different. A woman bypasses the gate of a ghost, how can she not give birth to the man? What?
These two views are not wrong, and both can be established. I think so. Someone might say, aren’t you the "Master Duanshui"? Neither side should be guilty, but isn't this just about the muddy mud, talking for a long time is equivalent to not talking about it!
is not like this. I also recognize the two points of view. It is not that both sides are not allowed to confuse the mud, but I think that these two views are not opposed, let alone hostile. These two views can coexist with each other. .
Both parties are right. Why the conflicts and disputes are always sharp? The reason is that the two parties only believe that they are right, and they don’t recognize that the other is right. No one is wrong.
The child is originally for both parties, both for the man and for the woman, for the man and for the woman,There is no existence just for that side. To put it bluntly, a child is not an object or a tool. It is the crystallization of love between two families and two people who love each other. The child should be a symbol of family harmony and a child who is looking forward to a child. Angels shouldn't take children so utilitarian.
However, many people don't understand this truth. They are too entangled in who the child is born for. Instead, they forget some of the simplest truths and make the marriage a mess.
Aunt Li finished most of her travels for half a month, her face was red and she happily walked home. She brought a lot of souvenirs and gifts she bought during the trip. She planned to give them to the family, but when she arrived at the door Some hesitate.
It was 7 or 8 o’clock in the evening. She had already sent a text message to her son, saying that she was going home soon. Aunt Li didn’t plan to let the family welcome her back home, but the lamp at home It's not turned on, it's silent, what's the matter with such a weird situation?
Aunt Li opened the door with confusion, but saw that the house was empty, the refrigerator, TV, washing machine and all kinds of electrical appliances were all empty, and the underground was in a mess. She thought that the house was a thief and was terribly scared. The next second he saw his son sitting slumping in a dark corner of the living room.
Aunt Li walked over and questioned her son.
"Son, what's going on at home, where is everything, why are you alone? What about Susu, where is my grandson?"
The son did not lift his head, a long while, In a faint voice, he replied:
"No, no home, all gone, all gone."
What the son said was a bit confusing, but his son's face was as gray as death, and he was still terrified. Aunt Li asked her son, but the son refused to speak. He just held his head in pain, saying that he didn't want to talk, but just wanted to be alone.
Aunt Li thought there was a major change in the house, worse than being a thief, so she hurriedly said she wanted to call the police, but her son stopped Aunt Li and finally shouted out of it.
"Su Su has already returned to her family's home, she is gone, and she took the child with her.The electrical appliances at home were also moved by her mother's family. She didn't live with me anymore, she mentioned divorce with me! "_P1p
Aunt Li was stunned after hearing this, but then she started to lose her temper with her son again.
"Su Su is gone, what are you mad at me? This woman is too arrogant and too angry. , This child is about to divorce just after birth. I really thought it was great to have a child, and I wanted to be a young grandmother. You let her go. You can't get married during lactation! Who are you scaring! Son, don't be afraid of her. Leave her alone for a few days, and then you will bring her back and the matter will be over. "_P1p
Aunt Li hadn’t finished speaking, the son suddenly raised his head, both sides were red, staring at Aunt Li: "Mom, don’t tell me, she didn’t scare me, she has already decided, her family has already put the child on My household registration is crowned with my family's surname, saying that everything will have nothing to do with our family in the future. If you don't leave now, you will leave. It's just a matter of time. You are satisfied now! "_P1p
The meaning of the son is obviously to blame Aunt Li, and Aunt Li also didn't care about getting angry with her son. Learning this amazing fact from her son, Aunt Li was also completely stupid.
"How could it be? Impossible, how long have I been out, this is really going to be a divorce? It shouldn’t be..."
Aunt Li's mind was muddled, and she slowly slumped and sat on the ground. She still regretted whether her clever actions had pitted the whole family. For a while, she was really I can’t accept this fact, and I can’t figure it out. I can only sit on the ground.
What happened? I have to talk about it more than a month ago.
Su Su (daughter-in-law pseudonym) When the due date was due, the only child in the family was the only child, and she rushed over to serve her daughter in a hurry. She booked a single room in the hospital for her daughter in advance. She didn’t think there was anything bad about it. After all, her family had money and was willing to help. At the beginning, the house didn’t require the man’s name to be renamed. She was sympathetic to the man’s lack of money and helped with the renovation and bought home appliances. Aunt Li has long been used to it. I accepted the help of my in-laws.
Seeing that Susu was about to give birth, my in-laws left.It seems that the family's business is too busy, and I have to leave early. But Aunt Li was in a hurry. She had booked the tour in advance, just when her daughter-in-law was in her confinement.
She had a good idea. She had the help of her in-laws, but she was idle anyway, and she felt that it was useless to keep it. She also felt that her daughter-in-law’s confinement had nothing to do with her, so she decided .
I’m not going now, the deposit has already been paid, thinking that the daughter-in-law will not be taken care of anyway. Two days after the daughter-in-law gave birth, Aunt Li went out to travel, and the daughter-in-law came back after her confinement. I saw the scene just at the beginning.
By the way, Aunt Li divorced her husband a long time ago, and she has always been divorced. She has always lived by herself, and she doesn't have any special care for her son.
Su Su really left, took the child back to her natal family, and said that she would be divorced, giving the child a surname. Su Su’s meaning is very clear. Since the man does not want to take responsibility for himself, it is not impossible. If you just want to sit back and enjoy the daydream, don’t even think about it. Whoever pays will enjoy the rewards, and if you want to be irresponsible, then Don't pay the responsibility at all, don't think of anything.
Su Su's family's financial situation is better than her husband's family, and it is more than enough to raise a child. Of course, as Aunt Li thought, even if Su Su does not need her in-law's care, Su Su's family can still give her children good care.
But, even if this is the case, you can not ask for help at all, can you not do your responsibilities? This is not a reason, let alone an excuse.
Su Su should be responsible, and he has the ability to be unilaterally responsible, but this does not mean that the inadequate husband’s family can stay out of the matter. No matter how much they can give, whether it is money or effort, they should do their best. .
What Su Su wants may not be how good her husband's family can do, but just want to see her husband's willing and responsible side.
It’s a pity that Aunt Li didn’t have this consciousness. She felt that her family had the ability, so she simply dumped the pot. She found an excuse to go out to hide from her daughter-in-law’s confinement and broke her heart. In the end, she was dumbfounded, but It was not unexpected, but reasonable.
To put it bluntly, put aside the entangled and complicated question of who the child is born for, and look at this contradiction in a simplistic way. Irresponsibility leads to trouble. Unwillingness to be responsible is the most annoying and the most unacceptable. .
As for some women, after giving birth, they feel that they have worked hard and made outstanding contributions to their in-laws.
Maybe these women think they are right and are fighting for their own reasonable rights, but this idea is not an old feudal idea, women have always wanted to be fair, to be equal between men and women, and to make people not light Looking at women, this kind of thinking is undoubtedly that women themselves are belittling themselves, as if they have positioned the meaning of a woman's life in fertility, and have materialized themselves.
And some men’s families feel that a woman’s childbirth has nothing to do with her family, and she didn’t let the woman have to give birth. She volunteered and suffered her own child. It’s no obligation to ask the man to help bring the child. Who brings it, this is the responsibility of the woman and has nothing to do with the man. Besides, I have already paid the bride price, which is equivalent to buying out everything later, and any problems afterwards have nothing to do with me.
This is also a selfish idea. A woman voluntarily gives birth to a child and no one is forced, but who is a woman? Isn't it one of the important family members? Shouldn't the family help if they encounter difficulties? Do you really want to be so clear, so utilitarian, so selfish?
As long as you are a family, helping each other is necessary and inevitable. The child is born for the woman and the man, but the upbringing, care, and education of the child, whether it is paying or handling, should also be the responsibility of both parties.
No matter what reason, I don’t want to pay myself That part of the responsibility, the one who only wants to enjoy, must be selfish and negligent, and there is no excuse that can be justified.
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