The child’s class called for a parent-teacher meeting, is it usually your father or mother?
Recently, when a parent Ms. Zhang was chatting with a reporter from Red Star News , she talked about her previous experience: she went to hold a parent-teacher meeting for her children, and when she opened the door, she said, "It was a sister party for married women. At first glance, all the mothers came, and there were probably only a few men."
Ms. Zhang's words have been recognized by many mothers. "The same is true in my child's class, at least 90% are mothers." "Our family is even more amazing. Dad knows that the child is in the third grade, but I don't know what class the child is in."
This is not the illusion of mothers. Teacher Li Dingling from the Affiliated Primary School of Chengdu University of Technology told reporters that the parent-teacher meeting that I had the most impressed me with was a class of 43 people, and 36 mothers came and only 7 fathers came.
Where have the fathers been?
Mother attended the parent-teacher meeting, opened the door and was stunned
Ms. Zhang's child is in the third grade this year. In the past few years, the school held a parent-teacher meeting on time at the end of the term. Whether online or offline, it has basically not stopped.
However, there have been several times before, and I didn’t notice the situation of the participants. Until the end of the last semester, the school held an offline parent-teacher meeting. Ms. Zhang pushed open the door and was shocked: Why are all mothers here? "There are only a few men in the classroom."
At first glance, most of the parents' meetings were mothers
Ms. Chen also noticed this situation. Ms. Chen’s child is in the second grade this year. From kindergarten to now, the parent meetings are attended by Ms. Chen. “(Mom) accounts for at least 90%.”
Ms. Tao recalled that the child is in the fifth grade this year, and the child’s father attended a parent meeting. During the rest of the time, Ms. Tao went there.
So, where have dads been?
As for Ms. Tao’s family situation, the parent-teacher meeting is mostly scheduled on Friday afternoon, which is the weekly office review meeting of the child’s father. As an important person in charge of the company, he cannot be absent.
Ms. Zhang's situation is also quite special, because the child's father basically works in other places and only comes back during the Chinese New Year. He can't even attend. "Actually, I really want the child's father to hold a parent-teacher meeting more. After all, the child's growth must not be lacking in the company of his father."
But not all fathers are working in other places.
Mr. Luo's son is in the sixth grade this year. He told reporters that it is not that he does not want to attend the parent meeting of his children. First, because the time of the parent meeting conflicts with his business trip or meeting time, and he really can't make time; second, mothers usually get along more with their children, and the children often ask their mothers to attend directly. "Our family has unwritten division of labor regulations. (Parents' meeting) is the mother responsible for such matters, and I am responsible for some other matters at home."
The teacher recalled
The whole class was 43 people, and 7 fathers came to
parent meeting. Why did it become a "mother's meeting"? Is it accidental or is it the case?
Teacher Li Dingling from the Affiliated Primary School of Chengdu University of Technology told reporters that the situation where parents' meetings are mainly attended by mothers is indeed quite obvious and common. The one that impressed Teacher Li the most was the class of 43 people. As a result, 36 mothers came, and only 7 fathers came. "Including the parent-teacher meetings at other times, anyway, the number of fathers attending the meetings can be counted with one hand."
There is another thing that impressed Teacher Li. A father came to attend a parent-teacher meeting and sat in the classroom for more than ten minutes. He never heard the child's name recite. Then he realized that the child was from the next class.
Previously, Chinese Academy of Educational Sciences also conducted a survey on the current status of family education for primary school students. The results showed that more than 50% of the children's education in are mothers singing a solo show, and 30% of the families can be able to be jointly responsible for children's education, while only 10% of the families with fathers taking on their main educational responsibilities.
Teacher Li feels that although he understands that some fathers are busy with daily life, he also hopes that fathers understand, " fatherly love and motherly love should be equal in family education, and only in this way is the best for the growth of children." "Now, many families implement the "male leads the outside, female leads the inside". Children's learning is often handled by mothers, and the father lacks the understanding and care of the father. If the father can take the initiative to attend the parent-teacher meeting, it can actually help the father actively understand and care for the child, so as to ensure that both father and mother's love are not lost.
In response to this situation, many schools have also begun to try to promote some changes.
Wu Jiang, vice principal of Chengdu University of Technology Affiliated Primary School, said that school will also plan a father's parent meeting to make changes in the future. "The educational role of fathers cannot be replaced by anyone else. Fathers have a great impact on the child's gender role, personality formation, ability formation, and wisdom enlightenment." She said that the school hopes to slowly change such situations so that fathers can truly participate in family education.
One-to-one-family long-term exchange activities carried out by some schools in Chengdu
As for the form of parent-teacher meetings, Chen Wenjing, the sixth-grade director of the primary school affiliated to Chengdu University of Technology, said that the school plans to carry out activities such as "Dad Chat Room" and "New Dad Comes to Help", so that dads can participate more in family education in the future.
Views:
Absent of a father makes mother more anxious, Fathers cannot be absent from the growth of children
In fact, the topic of fathers participating in family education has always attracted much attention, and there are also many complaints about "widowed" parenting in society, which refers to a phenomenon in which fathers are absent from their children's education and growth.
Discussion on mother parent meetings on social platforms
In recent years, the absence of one parent in family education, especially the absence of father, has not only attracted the attention of the school, but also the attention of the society. Many places even use legislation to oppose the absence of parents in family education.
For example, the "Jiangsu Province Family Education Promotion Regulations" will be implemented from June 1, 2019, which points out that both parents should jointly fulfill their family education obligations for minor children. If parents divorce or separate, they shall continue to fulfill their family education obligations and neither party shall refuse to perform them. One party shall cooperate if family education is carried out, the other party shall cooperate.
For this phenomenon, Wen Jinyu, a senior clinical psychological counselor at Xi'an Jiaotong-Liverpool University, mentioned in an interview with Suzhou Daily, that the issue of father's absence is becoming more and more concerned by modern society, mainly because fathers invest more and more time in work. On the contrary, this part of the role of father in the family will become smaller and smaller.
"Mothers must not only bear the gentle and tolerant part, but also do the father's admonition and strict part. Softness and hardness are conflicting in themselves, and most women cannot have both, and this will also create a sense of division for children."
Wen Jinyu suggested that in the joint education of children, mothers should actually give their children "love to embrace", that is, to care for their children and teach them how to express and accept love; while fathers should give their children more "love to let go", that is, first, teach their children the sense of rules and discipline, and secondly, give their children guidance in learning, sense of responsibility and self-confidence in career, and encourage them to explore and take risks. "Whoever goes to a parent-teacher meeting for parents is not the key, but the investment and division of labor between parents in the growth of their children is the key," said Wen Jinyu.
Red Star News Reporter Yin Jian
Edit Tan Wangyu
(Download Red Star News, report the information with prizes!)
