The happiness of a child should come from the mutual love of father and mother. No matter which love is missing, it may have a negative impact on the child. When
was reviewing the video some time ago, I saw a "funny" clip in which the father and daughter had a "dispute" because the daughter of only mentioned mother's love in her composition, but she said nothing about her father's love .
Faced with this situation, the angry father asked his daughter: "Why is there only mother's love, why can't father's love be said?" The daughter smiled and said: " father does not love ". When
heard this answer, his father was very dissatisfied and said to his daughter incoherently: "Why does father have no love? Where did your clothes come from? Mom bought them alone? How do you go every time you travel? Did you go? Where did the food you eat every day come from? Where did the house come from, did my mother make money to buy ?"
Although his father was very angry, the daughter on the side just smiled and said, "Yes, is mother This family is raised by one person. " In the end, the young father really said that he could not be his daughter, so he could only "forcibly court" and said to the child: " you must write it down, where is the father's love. "
saw this After the video, I believe that many netizens could not help laughing out loud, but there are also some rational netizens who think that the father is angry while the mother is smiling and filming. Is the education method like mother really good? How can you tell the children that the father has not paid for the family?
What kind of experience is it for parents to deny "the other's contribution" in front of their children? In fact, what hurts is the child
. The family itself should be a place full of love. If both parents create a "negative" atmosphere for the child, this kind of love is bound to be reduced, and it is easy to damage the child's sense of security.
Jiang Sida in "Qihua Shuo" is one of them. His parents chose to survive in name only. Whenever he gets along with his parents alone, both parents will speak bad things about each other and deny each other's efforts.
Now when Jiang Sida mentioned this experience again, he still had tears in his eyes. He always wanted to ask his mother: ", have you let go of your hatred for dad? " and that experience also made Jiang Sida doubt trust. Because even your parents can't believe it, who can you trust?
In psychology, there is a noun called " parental separation syndrome ", which refers to one spouse using the child as a "tool" to express dissatisfaction with the other spouse. But the result of this is only to hurt the child.
After all, children’s blood comes from both parents. Their subconscious mind will think that parents are good people and trustworthy people, and they will imitate their behavior and learn from their shining points. But if parents tell their children "no", how can they recognize themselves?
"Seeing each other’s contribution" is a practice of parents. While educating children, they also improve themselves.
Children’s hearts are very sensitive. Changes in the family and parents’ ideas can easily affect their perceptions, regardless of whether they are together or not. Both should acknowledge the other's contribution and tell the children that parents love him.
1) Acknowledge each other’s contribution and don’t let the child be "hateful"
Many couples will complain about each other, so they will deny each other’s contribution in front of the child, and even speak badly about him. In fact, this is not right. If If children do not admit that their father or mother is good, they are also easy to hate themselves.
So as parents, please do not deny your relatives in front of your children, and do not destroy the image of your parents in your children's hearts. Tell your children that your family will always love you, and mom and dad have given you their love.
2) The husband and wife must learn to appreciate each other before their children will recognize themselves
. The two came together because of love. I believe that they always treat each other with appreciation at the beginning, but with the baptism of marriage and life, Everyone's mentality changed, and the dissatisfaction in their hearts also followed, so the "complaining" began.
But marriage and raising a baby are a practice. Being able to see each other’s strengths is to affirm one’s own vision and recognize the arrival of the child. In this way,Only children can recognize themselves.
