We have been a nation of etiquette since ancient times, so we attach great importance to etiquette education for children. This seems to be a very common thing, but it is very important to us and our children. When going out with the child, if we meet an acquaintance and the child does not say hello to that aunt, we will feel very shameless. So when I get home, I will teach my children severely. But the child doesn't seem to pay much attention. Still like this, is this our child uneducated? What exactly is polite? How do we raise polite children? Do you want your children to be polite?
once heard a little friend mentioned such a thing. After listening to it, I was very angry. One day the little friend’s child came home from school and took a few classmates to play at home.
Because she happened to be at home that day, when the children arrived home, she welcomed the children warmly. Friends have been busy making food for their children in the kitchen. At that time, the child played with several other children in the living room at home.
After a while, my friend heard the sound of something breaking. I quickly went over and saw that it was a child who broke his skin care product. At that time the kid said: "Auntie, I'm really sorry, I accidentally broke it.
" At that time, my friend was angry but didn't say anything, but after a while, the kid came over and said to her: "Aunty, sorry, I accidentally opened the snacks on the table. "
Although the snacks were prepared for the children, no other children have eaten them now. So my friend was very angry when he heard it. When the child's classmates are gone, she said to the child: "I hope that child will not come to our house just now.
" So is the child above really polite? Obviously she is a polite child. She can actively apologize for her mistakes. But is her apology sincere? Maybe it doesn't happen. And we don't expect or wait to see this kind of "polite".
But compared to the above-mentioned politeness, the three kinds of politeness that our parents force their children to do are more harmful to the child.
1. Excessive modesty
Someone once said: "Modesty makes people progress, and pride makes people fall behind." As if modesty is the best. Moreover, in our thousands of years of cultural environment, we do not like particularly proud people. Only humble people will be paid attention and admired. Therefore, when our children are very young, we tell them that you must be humble. No matter what people or things are facing.
But is humility really good? Modesty makes children too introverted, which has something to do with our Confucian culture, but to a large extent, it is related to our family education.
If the child has passed the exam, or has done a great job, we will not praise the child. In the face of other people’s praise of the child, we will say: "In fact, he is not good, his head is very stupid, so this time is accidental.
" We will not objectively recognize the child’s excellence, and the natural and blind humility in exchange for the child’s self-confidence If we are damaged, others will think we are hypocritical.
2. Forcing children to say hello
Sometimes we like to force children to say hello. In fact, greeting people is good, but if we force children to say hello to others, there may be problems. At this time, the child may not feel the joy of meeting others to say hello, but will become very resistant.
Therefore, when the child is unwilling to say hello to others, we can guide the child through picture book reading or other ways. Children's unwillingness to say hello to others is also a self-protection performance, which we can understand.
3. Let the older child let the young child
. This situation may be more when the family has a second treasure. We may often say to Dabao: "Sister is still young, you have to let your younger sister or younger brother.
" Naturally children may do this, but their interests are damaged. If the child is in a state of psychological imbalance for a long time, it is also very bad for the child's development. Dabao let Erbao, if this is always the case, it will be bad for their development. First, Dabao will gradually express his dissatisfaction psychologically.
Secondly, this is not conducive to the establishment of their property ownership and sense of boundaries. Erbao accepts Dabao's things, and at this time they feel that what they want can be easily obtained from others, so this is not good for the development of Erbao and Dabao.
real giftAppearance is to let children respect others from the heart. This is the most basic cultivation of children. The above three kinds of Chinese politeness will really erode our children, especially modesty.
In fact, our educational environment has always been modest. The most indispensable thing about our children’s education is humility, excessive humility, and children’s brilliance to be worn away. So these three kinds of courtesy are undesirable.
