A few days ago, a friend talked to me about a heavy topic:
her son is in high school this year and he particularly likes mathematics. But two days ago, my friend reluctantly stopped one-on-one private lessons for his son. The reason for
is: too expensive! The math class stopped by
is once a week, 3 hours each time, 1000 yuan/hour, 12000 yuan a month.
is a similar one-to-one private lesson, which my friend's son also took when he was nearing the middle school entrance examination, which is really helpful for improving academic performance.
But the family has to pay off the mortgage every month, and has to take care of everything. The economic pressure is too great.
Although the child likes it very much, she can only take second place. The children in the class with good family conditions, Chinese, math, English... can take several such private lessons at the same time.
all say that the college entrance examination is one point short of one point, and students who are out of a playground. My friend sighed: "As large as a school district room, as small as a private class, the children's academic performance is not a naked family financial competition." There is a hot topic on
Zhihu: Does the poor really deserve quality education?
A netizen replied: The advantage of having money at
is that even if the parents have no education or professional skills, you can ask a professional teacher to teach.
wants to learn to swim, register for a training class, the fee starts at 5000.
wants to learn chess, private lessons, starting with 300 per session.
want to learn piano, find a personal tutor, 500 sessions. The cost of buying a piano starts at 30,000.
The poor cannot afford this money.
If education really has a starting line, family conditions are indeed a very important foundation.
Ordinary families and underprivileged children must not be able to fight for the elite and middle-class families. Does
mean that the children of ordinary families are destined to become the reference objects of others and the Loser of life?
Those children who don’t have umbrellas are considered parents’ negligence? The question of
reminds me of a program of the variety show "Extreme Challenge". On the occasion of the college entrance examination, the program group walked into Shanghai Chongming Middle School and held a special college entrance examination swearing conference. The children of
high school are arranged to walk to the playground, line up in a straight line, and participate in the running competition.
Each student needs to use "action" to answer six questions. If the answer is "yes", move on to the next line, and stay where the answer is "no". The six questions of
are: Have both of
parents received college education or above?
Have your parents hired one-to-one family education for you?
Did your parents let you continue to learn a specialty other than homework and still maintain a certain level? Has
ever traveled abroad once?
Have your parents promised to send you to study abroad? The rules of the
competition are a bit "cruel". After six questions, the children's starting line has been very different. Some children are far ahead, and some children still stay where they are.
then gave the order from the program group, and the children ran to the finish gym. The children without umbrellas and those who lost their shoes in the back can only squeeze into the front team with their best efforts. In the
stadium, the parents of the children looked forward to it one by one. Everyone wanted to see their children, but in the end only twenty winners ran into the stadium.
The loneliness and disappointment on the faces of the children who did not run into the gym and the parents who did not see their children can hardly conceal.
Those children who don’t have umbrellas are considered dereliction of their parents?
This problem is not that simple.
in the next star team game, the situation has reversed! The six stars of
participating in the show competed in the same way. Unexpectedly, after reading the first five questions, the six stars are still standing at the origin.
Until the last question "Do your parents always regard you as proud and boast of you in front of your relatives and friends?" The three stars of finally took the first step. A star of
said: "Because of the praise of my parents, I have been very confident since I was a child." There are indeed parents of
who will hinder their children, but this hindrance is definitely not the financial strength of the family, but the insight and pattern of the parents.
Some time ago, there was a concept of "the rich second generation of the poor family" that resonated with parents——
parents don’t want to be enterprising, they play with mobile phones every day, but they expect their children to become a dragon;
will earn only three or four thousand a month, and they will send their children to various tutoring classes, just to put money on their faces;
treats children without a bit Patience, accustomed to preaching, and swearing at all times. It is almost impossible for
to grow up in such a family environment.
In contrast, more and more parents, although the salary is not high, but still have a calm thinking about the future of their children;
many mothers, although not high-achieving students, but better to learn than high-achieving students, in order to educate their children well. Nurturing knowledge. Z2z
, the author of "A Brief History of Mankind", Harari once said that in the future, humans must be prepared to reshape themselves once every 10 years, throw away their outdated knowledge, skills, experience, assumptions and contacts, and start over. This point of
is also applicable to education. The world of
is changing, and no one can expect success with a certain kind of resource. Family financial resources of
can’t exchange everything for the child,
has the courage to stand with the child. Together, future-oriented parents can truly be invincible in education.
Don’t feel guilty about your children
Don’t expect too much of your children
Zhihu, a parent asked a very sharp and very realistic question:
How families with poor family economic conditions can educate and nurture their children, so as not to bury smart children Learning talent? A netizen's answer from
is very pertinent:
don't feel guilty about the child, don't expect too much from the child.
In fact, parents have done their best to educate their children, but "education is about parents, and I can't do it", like a curse that often crushes parents.
remembered a video of the fire a while ago. A middle-aged man,
, cried at the child’s parent meeting: "How can I not care about my child? I work overtime until the early hours of the morning, but I can’t stare at WeChat 24 hours a day. Look!"
The whole society puts the responsibility of educating children on parents, which is unfair. Education is about people, so to do a good job of education is the responsibility of society, schools, and everyone related to children. Excessive pressure on parents by
will only make parents feel excessively guilty about their children, and will also transmit external pressure to their children, have excessive expectations of their children, and forget their true focus.
In fact, in a thousand families, there will be a thousand different situations, and a thousand children, no one is the same.
No matter how good the family is, parents cannot solve all the problems for their children.
And as long as you observe carefully, you will find that each family has its special advantages.
or mothers are open-minded, tolerant, and scholarly, or fathers are self-disciplined, courageous, and love to delve into problems. The quality of these parents is often the most influential part of their children, and they are also the core of family culture.
A child, and a family, between husband and wife, between friends, the most important thing is anticipatory management. The more
accepts that he is an ordinary family, the more he will think about where his focus and goals are. In cultivating children’s talents, apart from the truly professional parenting experts, only parents are qualified.
Parents' company, teaching, and example are far more important than astronomical cram schools in the cultivation of children's talents.
Education is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a fire.
The college entrance examination is just a game, but for children, life needs to go through thousands of games, which means there will be thousands of passes. The road to success. The
children have different family backgrounds, different starting points, and their end points are also different! It is not a bad thing that
accepts that he is a "bad family" and knows that he can only provide limited liability to his children.
After all, no matter how many resources you give your child, he has to go on his own. The best education for
is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a fire.
Have you heard the story of the famous physicist and Nobel Prize winner Richard Feynman?
Feynman’s IQ is only 120 points, which is only slightly higher than average, Feynman’s fatherMy pro is a business representative of a garment factory, and his identity is ordinary.
Feynman once recalled when he was a child:
"When I was still sitting in a baby chair, my father brought home a pile of small tiles one day, which was the kind of toy used to decorate the bathroom in various colors. My father took They stacked up, making them look like dominoes, and then I pushed aside, and they all fell over.
After a while, I helped to stack the small tiles again. This time we made some complications Children’s tricks: two whites and one blue, two whites and one blue..." When Feynman recalled the influence of his father’s education on him, he said:
"It has always inspired me throughout my life and made me know all science The field is fascinated...In a sense, I am addicted."
education has never been a smooth road for children, but rather ignites children's enthusiasm and activates his own drive.
provides children with good educational conditions since childhood, stares at children to get good grades, and relies on various classes to accumulate children’s resume sheets...
external drive can also drive a person, but it brings children competition, pain and internal friction , People who rely on external drive support, energy is difficult to last.
Education has to fight family, parents, and financial resources, but in the end it has to fight the children themselves.
Since we can't take the child's own path in life, we must truly be the appreciators of the child and let the child become himself.
Parents are containers at all times. What
must not forget is to accept and love their children unconditionally, so that children can explore the world and grow up truly.
raises an ordinary but not simple child, what's wrong!
* Author: Wisdom creative group of bees. Source: Wisdom Parents V (ID: zhfm831). Wisdom Parents is the parent-child education account of Kumian Talk. It focuses on the growth and education of children aged 0-15, and aims to help visionary parents raise children for life.
*Note: Some pictures in this article are from the Internet.
