You must not do these things to lower your child’s EQ

2020/03/2716:30:03 baby 1650

You must not do these things to lower your child’s EQ - DayDayNews

In today’s society, EQ is more important than IQ. A person with high emotional intelligence is more likely to gain the trust of others and more opportunities. John Goldman once did an experiment in which he conducted in-depth research on 119 families to observe how parents and children respond to each other during emotional moments. Studies have found that the behavior of parents affects children's emotional intelligence to a large extent. In particular, the following three kinds of inappropriate behaviors will greatly reduce the child's emotional intelligence.

Ignore the child’s negative emotions

An 8-year-old boy had a dispute with his friend at school, and the friend said he would break up with him. The boy was very sad, and he was in a low mood when he returned home from school.

He curled his mouth and told his mother what had happened, but the mother felt that it was nothing. It was normal for children to fight and fight, so he just gave the child a few words casually, and then left it alone.

This is a very wrong way to respond.

When children show negative emotions to their parents, parents should immediately care about their children's inner changes, give them comfort, and help children find an outlet for their emotions.

Just like in the above case, the boy’s mother should give the child a hug, and help the child analyze the problem, solve the problem, and let the child rediscover the definition of a friend.

By doing this, the child will find suitable ways to regulate and resolve his negative emotions from your response, thus forming a high EQ for dealing with daily chores.

Laughing at and demeaning children

Knowing that there is a topic: What insulting and derogatory things did your parents say to you?

gets the most likes from these sentences: "How stupid you are like a pig! Forget it! How did I give birth to you such a trash!"

No matter where, no matter where Under circumstances, there are always parents who like to use these words to vent their anger and accuse their children. I don't know that these words are like thorns in the heart of a child, bringing pain and nightmares to the child.

Children trust their parents. They will deeply believe these words and feel that they are really stupid, really stupid. Over time, their self-confidence will be severely weakened and the parent-child relationship will also be damaged.

So, when parents want to criticize their children and express anger and disappointment, you can clearly point out the children's behavioral mistakes, instead of saying derogatory things, let alone labeling the children. For example, when the child is embarrassed to communicate with strangers, you can say: speak louder so that everyone can hear clearly. Instead of shouting at the child: "Why are you so timid!"

In a word, criticize the behavior of the child, not their personality and morality.

complains constantly

"Why is your teacher so annoying, you ask parents to sign every day, and the parents are free to do it?"

"You see your mother is stupid, I don’t even understand the account, what kind of housewife is it?"

Some parents always like to complain about this and that in front of their children, thinking that just a few words will have no effect on the children.

But in fact, complaining is like a poison that will slowly erode the child's body and mind, thereby affecting the child's way of looking at and solving problems.

For example, a few days ago I saw a neighbor’s child running up and down the stairs, and I fell down. The child pointed to the stairs and cursed: "What a broken staircase, a broken staircase! It made me fall." The daughter next to me heard this and turned to me and said, "Mom, he is obviously running around by himself, so how can he blame the stairs." I had to smile at my daughter embarrassingly.

I think of this child’s parents who are very complaining characters, and occasionally they talk to them, either to say that the person is wrong, or to complain about the person’s badness, which makes people want to stay away from them.

Parents who complain often will get a child with narrow-mindedness, high negative energy and low EQ.

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