Children's problems are symptoms of marital relationship problems (Part 1)
- "My 2015" essay collection
Article: Love and Happy Family Xia 2, Special 1 Lu LC
Teacher Zheng Wei’s foreword:
Let me give you a sentence first, a particularly profound sentence " Husband and wife relationship problems are symptoms of personal cultivation problems, and child problems are symptoms of husband and wife relationship problems. " Solving child problems is the solution. The problem of children cannot be solved. Solving the problems of husband and wife relationship cannot solve the problem of husband and wife relationship. If you want to solve the problem of children, you must solve the problem of husband and wife relationship deeply. If you want to solve the problem of husband and wife relationship, you must use self-cultivation to solve the problem of self-cultivation. . Only in this way, I believe that your family will be truly happy, your children will be truly outstanding, and your life will truly bloom.
Today, I recommend the "My 2015" essay by Xiamen family member Lu LC just to make everyone understand this truth. In the past year, the LC couple have selflessly contributed too much in Xiamen. Their dedication has moved us and also made them successful. Through their continuous efforts, the couple has realized and embarked on the right track of life happiness of "cultivating themselves, contributing to society, respecting the elderly, being loving as husband and wife, and raising children with love". Their children have also come out of the haze, and the sunshine has made progress...
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When I first saw Teacher Zheng Wei’s “My 2015” call for papers, I knew that I had a lot of emotions to express in my heart. My 2015 is the joy after the bitterness. After studying for one year and two months, I have tasted the taste of happiness. I treasure a ray of memory in the deepest part of my heart, that is the feeling of love.
's eyes started to moisten as soon as he started writing. In 2015, I was moved too much and experienced the arduous process of practicing "100 virtues with filial piety first"; I conquered a solid fortress - the belief that "children do not need to go to school"; in 2015, I encouraged my husband to boldly speak out about my shortcomings. He had been holding back his dissatisfaction with me for 20 years. He had no right to speak and was not respected. I couldn't talk more; I publicly courted my husband for the first time in 2015, and I found that I finally loved him from the bottom of my heart and was grateful to him; I wrote my heartfelt appreciation for him every day, and we went on a trip holding hands for the first time in 20 years... As I wrote this, I burst into tears, and I thanked my son for reminding us that we had deviated from the track of happiness without knowing it by not going to school..
In order to raise my child well, I dare say that I am more willing to pay than every family member. I decided not to go to work and wanted to spend more time educating him. For the sake of my child, I have been looking for various ways to help my child since he was in the first grade. I have listened to countless classes and actively participated in countless activities. However, my child has become less and less confident. No one has ever told me that the root cause of my child's problems lies with me.
I couldn't educate my children anyway. I started to complain about my husband, and I was extremely dissatisfied with him for not caring about the children (my husband actually had no chance to intervene in the education). All communication was just complaints and demands, so that we had nothing to say. We lived on two parallel lines that never crossed... I felt the coldness of home, but my husband was extremely tolerant and caring for me. I saw it in my eyes, but I couldn't be moved. I was just blindly unhappy. (Teacher Zheng Wei said it well: For some women, if you want a woman to be happy, you have to help her take care of her children) I am this kind of woman, children are a hundred times more important than husbands!
When I came back from Xiamen 2, I knew I was completely wrong. Looking at the children who were locked in their bedrooms and playing computers day and night, my anxiety and anxiety reached the limit (the children had just been out of school for a month at that time). After the end of Xiamen 2, one month later, Teacher Zheng Wei launched a special training session on "Helping Angels with Broken Wings Reborn". I hurriedly participated with the idea of solving the problem. After I came back, I felt a little more at ease, but that was just a theoretical understanding. I was about to start changing my actions bit by bit. I decided to put down my children and start by being filial to the elderly. In order to save my children, I chose the most difficult path to start practicing (because my heart was not out at that time, I just worked hard).
encountered many problems in the process of taking care of my mother-in-law. I left Xiamen alone to take care of her in my hometown. The hardships cannot be expressed. I often endured the grievances and wanted to wait for my husband to come back on weekends. However, when my husband came back, he thought about waiting for my mother-in-law to go to bed to play mahjong. He often came home until midnight and slept until noon the next day. After being grieved, he continued to show his filial piety. The cold index in my heart continued to increase, so that I felt that returning to Xiamen was like returning to heaven, and returning to my hometown was like returning to hell. In this way, I persisted for eight months and finally got a turn for the better. My mother-in-law agreed to come and live in Xiamen. In this way, in addition to taking care of her, I could also attend salons in Xiamen and go out to chat with my friends. I became more cheerful day by day.
In April 2015, Xiamen ushered in the second semester of study tour. I worked hard, took on everything, and worked hard to be the general manager. From the beginning to the end, I was just doing things and "paying". I didn't find my heart at all. In September, at the launch ceremony of the Beijing Filial Parenting Camp, I was still dissatisfied with taking care of my mother-in-law. I went to attend the launching ceremony of the filial piety camp because I wanted to learn how to respect the elderly ( I always criticize myself for not doing well. In fact, I can never meet my own requirements. I have a big black self in my heart )
(To be continued...)
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