People with internal drive do not need external motivation, but are driven by their own inner needs and desires, or out of their own interests and hobbies, and can keep moving forward despite setbacks.
Stimulating children’s inner drive without beating, scolding or preaching is definitely what many parents dream of. So how can parents cultivate their children's internal drive?
First, let children have confidence and inner satisfaction. Many parents will get very angry when they see that their children are not active in learning and do not take the initiative to do homework, and then they will start to curse, saying that their children are not up to par, or that they are not good at studying. Doing so will only frustrate their children's enthusiasm for learning.
Be sure to remember to give your children positive encouragement. If our purpose is to make children more active and serious in learning, then we should not suppress them.
Second, let the children make their own decisions and cultivate their independence instead of relying on their parents for everything.
When a child is two or three years old, there will be a self-awareness sensitive period , which is the most important of all sensitive periods. Children in the sensitive period will exhibit confrontational behavior, and they will focus almost all their enthusiasm and attention on self-construction.
At home, parents should also create opportunities for their children to do things independently, such as eating by themselves, dressing by themselves, washing and bathing by themselves. They can make decisions by themselves, and they will feel inner satisfaction and joy, not because of fear and punishment, nor because of rewards from adults. This is just because they like it, and I am willing to spend time doing it. This is what internal drive looks like.
Third, adults should not interfere and supervise too much, and let children focus on doing what they like. Because they like it, they will gradually develop internal drive.
Fourth, in a healthy and close parent-child relationship, parents and children will continue to influence each other through daily language exchanges, parents' methods and attitudes towards doing things, and each other's personalities and values. Children who have a healthy and close parent-child relationship will be close to their parents in their hearts and are willing to listen and understand their parents' intentions instead of fighting and escaping.
Internal drive comes from love. With the correct guidance of parents, children will also become people who love learning and live an active life in line with the expectations of family and society. As your experience grows and you learn more about the world, you will stimulate your inner strength, eventually forming internal drive. Before that, parents should not be too anxious. It does not mean that beating and scolding children can awaken the inner drive. This is a process that requires patience and methods.
