Introduction
If the daughter-in-law and daughter have children at the same time, after giving birth, as the mother-in-law and the mother of the daughter, who should be served in confinement? Faced with such a situation, there is indeed a dilemma. Either choose the daughter-in-law, or choose the daughter, or refuse to take care of it directly. However, this will make one party dissatisfied, or both parties dissatisfied.
And Aunt Hu faced this situation, but she chose to take care of her daughter for confinement, but she did not choose to take care of her daughter-in-law for confinement.
From Aunt Hu’s self-report:
I am Aunt Hu, I am 60 years old this year. My husband and I have retired. We have a son and a daughter. The son is two years older than my daughter. They are now married and their daughter is close to marrying and will come back to see us from time to time. When his son got married, we also paid for the couple to buy a wedding house.
After all the children got married, the only two of us were left at home. Before retirement, we were busy with work every day and didn’t think much. But after retirement, we stayed at home for a long time and had no children around us. Instead, we felt that this family was a little empty.
So, when my son and daughter have no children, my husband and I often go out for a trip. When I have time, my son and daughter ask us to live at their homes, but my husband and I think that since my children are married, they have their own lives to live. We parents should not disturb their lives often. We can have an occasional dinner on weekends while they are free.
Later, when my son got married for two years and my daughter got married for one year, it happened that my daughter-in-law also got pregnant shortly after she got pregnant. We both were very happy after learning the news. But my husband said at this time, "Who will take care of our daughter Xiaojuan when she is confinement?" When my husband said that, I remembered this headache. Indeed, because my daughter's mother-in-law died of illness in her early years, and after the daughter gave birth to a child, there was no one to take care of her, so I must take care of her. I thought about it and said, "Let's talk about it then."
When my daughter-in-law and daughter were pregnant, I often bought two identical fruits and nutritional supplements to see them. Speaking of which, my daughter and daughter-in-law have a good relationship, which makes me very pleased.
Later, when the two were due to delivery, they went to the hospital one after another to wait for delivery. The daughter-in-law first gave birth to a son, and then two days later, the daughter also gave birth to a daughter. My husband and I were happy, so we gave each of our daughter and daughter-in-law a red envelope, and the amount of the red envelope was the same. Since they had both had caesarean section, they stayed in the hospital for another week.
When I went back to get the things, the neighbors asked, "My daughter-in-law and daughter are both in confinement, do you take care of that?" I said, "Of course I am taking care of my daughter!" The neighbor was a little puzzled and said, "Don't we take care of our daughter-in-law? In the future, my son will support you in old age. Don't you have to get along well with your daughter-in-law?"
I said, "I also know my daughter's situation. If I don't take care of me, who will take care of me. If I go to take care of my daughter-in-law, I will easily have conflicts between the mother-in-law and my daughter-in-law. I plan to call my mother-in-law to take care of me, so that my daughter-in-law can still be taken care of me carefully. If my daughter is on my side, I will take care of me. What's wrong with my daughter? I will still have any problems with my daughter-in-law. It can be said, but even if there is something wrong with my daughter-in-law, I can't just talk about it casually." When the neighbor heard this, he said, "You have made thoughtful arrangements. In this way, you pay for your daughter-in-law and work hard on your daughter-in-law. You don't offend either side."
Later, after my daughter-in-law and daughter were discharged from the hospital, my husband and I found a better confinement center for my daughter-in-law, and we paid for the expenses. Then before my daughter-in-law was discharged from the hospital, we took my daughter-in-law's mother over and asked her mother to take care of her daughter-in-law at the confinement center. Since my son-in-law had to go to work, I took my daughter home to take care of her, so that it would be more convenient for me to take care of her.
Mo Ranhuanchen said:
Aunt Hu's approach is to not offend both ends, arrange the daughter-in-law to be in the confinement center, and the daughter-in-law's mother will take care of it. In this way, the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can also be avoided. Compared to getting along with the mother-in-law, it is definitely not embarrassing to get along with her mother. Such an arrangement will help the family harmony.
. Since Aunt Hu’s daughter does not have a mother-in-law, if Aunt Hu doesn’t take care of her, she can only ask her confinement nanny , or arrange her daughter to the confinement center. But at this time, it is actually better for her daughter to be sure that her mother will take care of her. After all, it’s better for her to know her daughter. Only those who are mothers can know what her daughter needs, and it is more convenient to communicate.
Therefore, Aunt Hu did this and paid for her daughter-in-law during confinement, so that her daughter-in-law would not complain. If she did not express anything and took care of her daughter, it would make her daughter-in-law feel dissatisfied and would affect the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
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