What kind of personality does a child have when he grows up can be seen when he is young. Because the child's preschool stage is the child's personality stability period, during this period, if parents fail to guide and help their children to establish a good emotional personality, then the child will likely have emotional problems in the future.
Zhou Zhou was a rather noisy child when he was a child. During this period before the age of 6, Zhou Zhou seemed to have a strong sense of "autonomy" and had his own opinions on many things. If the parents' opinions were different from him, Zhou Zhou would start crying and insisted on letting his parents agree with his opinions.
If parents do not compromise, Zhou Zhou will start to lose his temper and sometimes they will make big fuss with their parents, which will cause Zhou Zhou’s parents to have a headache.
However, Zhouzhou's parents did not try to change and guide and correct Zhouzhou's problems, but thinks that it will be better if the child grows up.
As a result, Zhou Zhou's personality did not change after he grew up, and he was still the kind of "tantrum" he was when he was a child. This made Zhou Zhou's parents regret it and complained that they did not discipline Zhou Zhou when he was a child.
Compared to Zhouzhou, Xuanxuan at the neighbor's house is much better. Although Zhou Zhou and Xuanxuan had similar tempers when they were young, when Xuanxuan showed some crying, losing temper, Xuanxuan's parents always patiently disciplined their children . In the end, before the child was 16 years old, he helped Xuanxuan get rid of these personality problems, thus making Xuanxuan better and becoming a child with high emotional intelligence. So, how did Xuanxuan’s parents discipline Xuanxuan?
Before the age of 6, the child is moody and unpredictable. The way parents deal with it is very important
The child is crying and willful, and parents cannot compromise
The child is crying and willful, which is actually very common in life. For example, Xuanxuan, Xuanxuan also had this problem when he was a child.
Once, Xuanxuan and his mother were shopping in the mall, but Xuanxuan saw a toy he was very familiar with and asked his mother to buy it. However, when his mother saw that there was this toy at home, she did not agree to Xuanxuan's request. Now Xuanxuan was unhappy and began to lie on the ground and cry willfully.
. Facing Xuanxuan's crying, his mother did not compromise, but waited quietly for Xuanxuan to cry. When Xuanxuan's mood became slightly more stable, she picked up Xuanxuan and came to a secluded corner, silently accompanying Xuanxuan. When Xuanxuan saw that his crying had no effect, he just did not cry . At this time, his mother started to speak and talked to Xuanxuan and talked to Xuanxuan . Xuanxuan, who is in a stable mood, can also listen to his parents and understand his wrong behavior.
[Tips]: When the child cries willfully, the child's emotions are in a relatively excited state. At this time, no matter what parents say to the child, it is difficult for the child to listen to.
Therefore, parents should wait for their children to calm down before reasoning with their children, so that they can understand their mistakes and change their incorrect behavioral habits.
Children lose their temper, parents should not "use violence to fight violence"
Children's tantrums are actually very common in life, and Xuanxuan also has this situation.
For example, when Xuanxuan was eating at home, he suddenly lost his temper, which made his mother a little confused. If it were Zhou Zhou's mother, she would definitely start scolding Zhou Zhou.
But Xuanxuan's mother did not do this, but quietly asked the child what the specific reason for losing his temper was.
After asking, I found out that the child was originally competing with his father for dinner, but the child lost and lost his temper.
Xuanxuan's mother actually understands the child's behavior very well, but she is not very satisfied with the child's performance. So after the meal, she read picture books about emotional control with the child to help the child understand his emotions and teach him how to correctly control his emotions.
[Tips]: When a child loses his temper, parents should not blindly scold their children , but should ask the child why they lose their temper. At the same time, looks at this from the perspective of the child, understand the child's behavior , and use effective methods to improve the child's emotional control ability.
Children are lying randomly, parents should not criticize
Children may lie, and the same is true for Xuanxuan. However, after Xuanxuan's mother knew that Xuanxuan was lying, she did not immediately criticize Xuanxuan, but carefully asked Xuanxuan why he lies, and learned why the child was lying, and then responded differently based on Xuanxuan's questions.
What should parents do when facing different lies about their children?
- Kind lie: Parents should pay attention to understanding lies with kindness, affirm their children's wishes, and express their approval of their children's behavior. Because lies with good intentions are altruistic, this is a selfless manifestation of children.
- Self-protection lies: Children lie because they are afraid of their parents scolding them, which is actually out of self-protection awareness. Therefore, when this happens to the child, parents should reflect on themselves to see if there is any problem with their own education method.
- Malignant lie: Children tell some lies that violate the principles and have obvious malicious intentions. Parents must take them seriously and reproduce them with their children in a scenario, so that the children can view this lie from the perspective of empathizing with , so as to recognize their mistakes.
Children do not respect others, parents should pay attention to self-examination
Children's words, behaviors, behavior habits, etc. when they were young, which were greatly affected by parents. If the child disrespects others, parents must self-examination, because it is very likely that the reason lies with themselves. The same is true for Xuanxuan's mother. When Xuanxuan was in kindergarten, Xuanxuan's mother had already discovered that Xuanxuan had disrespectful behavior. Later, she found out that it was Xuanxuan's father, who was a rough man, so she warned her father to pay attention to respect Xuanxuan.
[Tips]: Whether a child respects others depends on whether the child is respected by his parents. , because only when children feel respect and have self-esteem can they understand what respect is and respect others.
Conclusion
Parents should pay attention to grasping their children's preschool stages and solve their emotional problems one by one. Never have the absurd view that "just grow up" is absurd view. Children cannot achieve the expected growth effect without correct education.
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