Have you ever held a family meeting? Some people may say, who won’t know how to attend a meeting? What is the difference between a positive disciplined family meeting and a traditional family meeting?
The founder of positive discipline Jane Nelson said that if she was asked to choose a family education tool, she would recommend family meetings. Because family meetings provide children with the opportunity to learn valuable social and life skills needed to have good character.
My positive discipline teacher - Dr. Jiang Li used 30 family meetings to help her daughter get out of the darkest moments of her life. Their family meeting has now been held for more than 100 sessions, and the family meeting has become a wonderful time for the family to get together.
There is a positively disciplined Xiaomi teacher who not only holds family meetings in his own small family, but also extends the family meeting model to the entire big family. Let the nephew and niece feel the warmth of the entire family.
Today we will unveil the veil of positive discipline family meetings.
1, the element of positive discipline family meetings.
Three roles : host, recorder, timekeeper
Three processes:
1, thanks. Each family member expresses his gratitude to the other members. For example: Thank you child, I helped my mother end the video yesterday. Everyone has to take turns to thank others.
2, meeting agenda. You can share your happy things, interesting things, and meaningful things last week. Or let’s discuss things that require division of labor and cooperation at home and things that require everyone’s help. You can also discuss your home leisure plans, weekend plans, vacation plans, and even financial plans. You can explain the topics to be discussed in advance at the family meeting. Sometimes everyone’s opinions may be inconsistent, so you can only discuss them without solving them.
3, family entertainment activities. You can play games, play poker, eat snacks, watch movies, etc. Do activities that all members of the family can do.
2, my family meeting.
I remember when I first participated in the training of a positive discipline lecturer, Teacher Jiang said that family meetings are a comprehensive tool. Don't rush to use it, wait for the opportunity.
I have been using other parenting tools for positive discipline for a long time and have not had family meetings. Until one day, the child yelled to hold a family meeting. I remember it was around May 2020, and at the strong demand of our children, we started the family meeting. Starting from the simplest version of the family meeting, there are only two links, thank you and entertainment time. The simple version of the family meeting lasted about a month. The family meeting lasted for several months in 2020 and was later suspended for various reasons.
restarted again in 2021, and it was cut off for more than a month at the end of the year. It started again in 2022 and has been persisting until now. Now family meetings have become our fixed gathering pattern every week. Each of us has grown up at family meetings.
From the beginning, everyone didn’t know how to say thank you, but now children can say three to four reasons for thank you in one breath. At the same time, in order to get recognition at family meetings, I am thinking every week, what can I do for my parents this week? During our thank you, the child learned to ask us: Is there any more? I even learned to remind us, what are you looking at? Should I thank you? The child said that his observation ability was more careful and that it was not natural for his family to do anything for him. He should be seen, valued, and be grateful. Every family member must know how to cherish the efforts of his or her family. Working is more energetic.
We have discussed many topics together. For example, next week's menu, weekend arrangements, and division of housework, can we raise small animals? etc. In the latest family meeting, the child can raise a small turtle at home. Children should take care of it themselves and learn to be clean and hygienic. He took good care of himself, changed water and fed it every day.I found a small stone from outside, used a discarded small toothbrush to clean the small stone, and placed it in the feeding tank. He also dug up mud and sand from the park and put it in another iron box, saying that sometimes the little turtle could be put to play there. The child gave the little turtle a name, Xiao Jia. Every day I come back and see his little turtle as soon as possible. It's like a family member treating it like this.
This is Xiaojia
Our family entertainment activities, eating desserts, children playing magic, and playing games. Watch movies and documentaries he wants to watch with his kids. For example: "Hometown Imperial", " Dream Travels ", "My Coach Newton", " Hexi Corridor ", " Aerial Photography China ", etc.
3, several reminders for family meetings.
- is not recommended for children under four years old to participate. If there are younger children at home, you can wait until the child falls asleep before having a family meeting.
- The initial family meeting can start with the simple version. Only acknowledgements and entertainment.
- Don’t accidentally become a one-man or criticism meeting for parents.
- When we discuss the issue, the principle of minority obeying the majority is not applicable. If everyone's opinions cannot be reached for the time being, they can be placed there. Or wait until the next family meeting to discuss. Until everyone is united.
- is held regularly, once a week.
- control the time, and the maximum time should not exceed half an hour.
- Family Meeting is a comprehensive application tool. Don't hurry to start, wait for the opportunity.
Family meetings give children the opportunity to learn and practice solving problems, and also increase cooperation and intimacy between family members. It is a warm time for the family and the best memory in many years. If you have started your family meeting, just stick with it, even if it may be temporarily interrupted for various reasons, it doesn't matter. You can also start over.
One day, you will find that this is a way for children to listen and share responsibilities with their children with respect. Set an example for your children and practice the life skills and life skills you hope your children can master. Create a good atmosphere, good family style and good traditions for the family. And pass on from generation to generation.
