Today's parents are relatively open-minded and pay more attention to their children's mental health.
Especially after children enter puberty, we tend to be more reasonable rather than just asking children to do it.
I was chatting with a friend who was adolescent at home. He talked about his daily life with his daughter, which really surprised me.
1: "Dad, I want to go to my boyfriend's house to sleep at night"
My friend's daughter is very beautiful, inheriting her mother's big eyes and double eyelids, and inheriting her father's big tall man. My daughter will come back to tell her parents about anything she has at school.
After the child goes to junior high school, he often says that a boy writes to her and says he likes her.
The friend and wife are both open-minded and just told her that when she meets a boy she doesn’t like, she should be more tactful when she refuses. Children nowadays are more sensitive and fragile inside, so don’t hurt others.
Later, my daughter came back and announced that she was "in love".
Although his friend was very surprised, he tried his best to remain calm. He asked about the specific situation and learned that the other party had good grades and good character, so he took a little more attention.
But he still talked to his daughter very seriously and agreed with her that "like" can be done, but it cannot affect his grades, nor can he have intimate physical contact, nor can he do anything that goes beyond his rules.
My daughter is quite sensible and has a sense of propriety, so she doesn’t worry her parents much. only one day, after she returned home, she said directly: "Dad, I want to go to my boyfriend's house to sleep at night." After hearing this, my friend felt a little nervous and couldn't help but feel nervous. But he still asked calmly: "How come he suddenly had such an idea?"
's daughter told him that after just passing the intense exam, several good friends wanted to relax. So, everyone decided to form a group to play games all night. And her boyfriend's parents were not at home, so she wanted her to go and accompany him.
Friends also came from adolescence. They knew that puberty children are more rebellious. The more you suppress them, the more they may have to do it against each other.
Moreover, my friend has also inquired about the boy's situation in many ways. He knows that the other party's character is reliable and he should not have any bad intentions.
However, as the girl's father, he hopes that his daughter can have a higher alertness and know how to protect herself.
So, my friend did not object immediately, but made an opinion: "If you want to stay together, you don't have to go to his house. You can invite him to our house. We clean up the room and come out. If he is tired of playing games, he can take a break. What do you think?"
's daughter thought about it and didn't say anything.
Friend continued, "Dad knows that you two are attraction to each other. You can trust him too. It's just that the two of you stayed together for so long, can you guarantee that you won't have physical contact?"
Seeing that his daughter was shaken, the friend continued to speak his heart:
"The love of adolescence is a very beautiful thing. If this love is worth cherishing. , then it will definitely reassure you, not worry about anything, nor will it make parents worry.
A good relationship can withstand the test of time and make both parties a better place. If you can keep improving and growing in this kind of love, then you still care about waiting for more time and waiting until you really grow up and become adults who can be responsible for themselves? ”
After listening, my daughter thought. Finally, she smiled and hugged her friend's arm and said, "You are right, I'm too concerned. I will pay more attention in the future and I promise not to worry you!"
Of course, the boy did not come in the end. The students of the students all night at home.
also breathed a sigh of relief, glad that I was not furious. Otherwise, his relationship with his daughter would be in a terrible relationship, and he would not know how she would rebel.
After listening to my friend’s speech, I really feel that as a father, his answer is worth learning from by parents.
2: What should we do when children enter puberty?
There are many parents around you, and they all say that they have adolescent children at home, so they will always be more worried.
Although we know that adolescence will have a good impression of the opposite sex, if they really have adolescence, the most worrying thing is their parents. They are afraid that they will be hurt and they are afraid that they will delay their studies.
If a child really has the tendency to "like someone", what should we do?
① Convey the correct view of emotions
In fact, as experienced people, we also know that when we are puberty, we will have some ignorant feelings and inexplicably have a good impression of those we appreciate. This situation is a very normal phenomenon during growth.
If we blindly suppress and criticize and educate, this will not erase the child’s inner love. On the contrary, it may be more firm in his ideas.
So, we must stay calm and talk to our children as much as possible. For example, why do you like him? What are his advantages do you appreciate? Where does he attract you? What do you think is a relationship worth your efforts? What do you think a good relationship will bring you? ......
guides the child to think more and lets him see by himself what a good relationship is like, what things can be done, and what things cannot be done.
We can also talk about our own experiences. Let children establish a correct view of emotions and values. Only in this way can he understand the bottom line and principles and not act emotionally.
② Listen more
Children will have many worries when they enter puberty. For example, if you are not good enough, you have acne on your face, you have awkwardly quarrel with a good friend, etc.
Although in our opinion, these are all small things, in the eyes of children, these are indeed big things.
So, we can listen more and not rush to deny it.
If we are willing to listen, the child will be willing to say it. When he really encounters the trouble of "love", he is willing to talk to us and listen to our suggestions.
If the child is not willing to tell us anything, when he encounters difficulties, he has no adult who can ask for help, and he may take detours and even lead to big mistakes.
Let’s listen to your children’s ideas and give suggestions when appropriate. Only in this way can children not make wrong choices due to confusion.
③ Correct Sex education
Children reach adolescence, sex education is indispensable.
If we find it difficult to speak, or don’t know where to start, we can buy some popular science books for our children to read and understand by themselves.
Only when children receive the correct education can they look at puberty more rationally and positively. Only then can they understand what age should do, protect themselves and not harm others.
have adolescent children. Are you worried about their "early love"?
[Pictures are from the Internet, invade and delete]
I am Youzi's father, I have a "little devil" at home, I will grow up with her, if you like it, follow it~
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