After giving birth, many mothers recalled the first few months. They all said that "memory was vague" at that time and believed that "missing over the past" was the only feasible strategy. Keep this in mind, it is absolutely normal if you feel overwhelmed by the challenges of your new life. Even if you were not a person with a strong desire to control before, you still feel that various requirements are coming one after another and all kinds of chaos are overwhelming. It is really a difficult task to complete.
"I think the biggest impact on me is that the huge responsibility makes me breathless. I am the only person who can feed and take care of my baby. I really don't know what I should do. This huge sense of responsibility scares me. Although women are good at handling multiple tasks at the same time, taking care of a newborn definitely requires this skill more than ever: you need to keep thinking about when you should breastfeed, milk, bottle feed, change diapers, take a nap... and desperately plotting to take time to take a shower. No wonder I am so anxious!"
A regular routine will indeed make life easier. After the first few months, the baby's eating, sleeping and waking up will gradually develop. At this time, as your parenting experience continues to enrich and your parenting skills become more and more proficient, you will become more and more confident from the early days of being at a loss and panic, and you can handle it easily in all situations. What I mean is not that it will be easier to take care of a child in the later stage (in the future, we will also face the problems of having a baby teething, adding complementary foods, crawling, separation anxiety, tantrums and more), but as long as we survive the first few months, we will definitely be able to better deal with the challenges ahead.
Moreover, as children grow up, they will also bring more and more rewards to parents: the baby smiles, the baby makes babbling voices, the baby hugs, the baby learns to speak - if your baby has not reached this stage yet, then these growth in the future will make you feel particularly valuable.
Slow down the pace of life, my suggestion is to slow down the pace of life as much as possible, maximize the use of maternity leave, and accompany your baby at home. If you really start to get back to work, enjoy the time with your kids as much as possible. Don’t set your goals too high, seize every opportunity to relax. The most important thing is to remind yourself that life is different now than before and accept this reality earlier. Although there are very few parents who can maintain their previous lifestyle, most people can't do it (I remember one time in a cinema, when I got up after the movie was over, I was surprised to find that a newborn baby was still asleep on my ladder in the woman in the front row).
I remember that when my first child was born, I took him to New York for a trip. My original plan was to shop, go to a restaurant to enjoy food, and then spend two nights leisurely in the hotel. However, as soon as we arrived at the hotel, the baby kept crying. On the first night, we tried our best to try to coax her to sleep in the light crib, but she made a fuss all night, so we had to terminate the trip early. What I want to express is that don't try to maintain the way of life in the past, which may not be possible. It’s better to accept and enjoy the new lifestyle now.
"I quickly realized that the days when I picked up my handbag and went shopping were gone forever. It was a rare thing to finish a meal and chat leisurely. But there was really no need to feel sad. Our lives are now decided by the baby, and babies are generally winners."
Lucky two nights in the hotel. However, as soon as we arrived at the hotel, the baby kept crying. On the first night, we tried our best to try to coax her to sleep in the light crib, but she made a fuss all night, so we had to terminate the trip early. What I want to express is that don't try to maintain the way of life in the past, which may not be possible. It’s better to accept and enjoy the new lifestyle now.
"I quickly realized that the days when I picked up my handbag and went shopping were gone forever. It was a rare thing to finish a meal and chat leisurely. But there was really no need to feel sad. Our lives are now decided by the baby, and babies are generally winners."
The most important thing in life now is: try to take good care of the children; leave more time for yourself and your partner; complete basic housework; make friends, and go out more. As for everything else, try to let it go and adjust the expected value to the lowest level. Now is definitely not a good time to decorate your house.
Learn to rely on others and delegate tasks as much as possible. If your mom wants to help with something, ask her to help clean it; if your husband is jumping around you, let him go to the kitchen to get a hand. You can consider building an informal task allocation system, and if you feel it is too formal, you don’t have to write it down, but it really helps if everyone can take on certain tasks.
Make sure to do the same thing at the same time every day as much as possible. Use natural patterns to establish some regularity for you and your children, meet other mothers and talk about a chaotic life. Avoid things that make you feel stressed. Adhere to a controlled lifestyle. For example, if you don’t like to take your kids to buy things, you can shop online.
Use some simple and practical methods to make life more orderly. For example, put a to-do list on the refrigerator; prepare an mommy package next to the door so that you can go out at any time. If the situation allows, slow down your life as much as possible. No matter what you do or where you go, give yourself enough time to complete it slowly. What's there to be anxious about?
Keep an optimistic attitude. Life will not always be so chaotic, at least, you will not always be so at a loss. Life will become easier and easier over time. Really, that's true.
