Recently, many cases of "reverse parenting" have appeared across the country. This method of education has suddenly become a hot search and has been praised by many parents.
So what exactly is "reverse parenting"? Just look at a few cases.
A while ago, an 8-year-old boy took the initiative to take a break from school to play games. The parents felt that since the child had decided, it was useless to say anything, so they just used the trick and let the child beat him up.
For this purpose, they have also formulated a strict game plan and kpi. They must play for 16 hours a day, and they must also review and summarize the game's record, eat three meals regularly, and it will not be timely.
After hearing this plan, the child happily agreed and could be executed for three days and had collapsed 4 times.
Parents know that sometimes their children "make up their minds" and the more they don't give it to them, the more they don't listen. It's better to use the "praise and kill" method to let the children know that playing games is not as fun as they imagine, so as to achieve the goal of quitting the game.
After reading it, netizens liked their parents' approach.
In addition, there is also a mother who usually dislikes her daughter for being slow and procrastinate in doing things, and she always wants her to change this bad habit, but the effect is very little.
Later, the mother thought of a way, which was to imitate the child's behavior. When she was about to send her daughter to school, she deliberately slowed down her movements and pretended to wear and take off her clothes several times, which made her daughter who was waiting at the door cry anxiously.
allows the child to feel the charm of procrastination. This method can make the child think from the perspective of others and know what consequences his behavior will bring. I believe it can better help her get rid of this bad habit.
There is also a "ruthless" mother's approach, which is worthy of praise. The weather in Heilongjiang is only 0℃ this day, but the 3-year-old daughter insists on wearing a thin princess dress to go out, and she doesn't listen to it no matter how she persuades her. Since this is the case, the mother also followed the child's requirements and let her be an ice beauty in the cold outdoors.
Mother knows that the child will be very cold, but since the child doesn't believe it, it's useless to say more. Let the child feel it once, which is better than preaching a hundred times. After this experience, I believe that the child will never dare to wear a skirt and go out again.
has talked about so many examples of reverse education. In fact, parents do not really care about their children, but often we say to their children, "I do this for your own good" and "I don't want you to take the detours I have taken", but children have never experienced the hard work of how they understand their parents' hearts.
So this kind of reverse education has certain benefits, but when executing, you still need to pay attention to the following points.
What to pay attention to in reverse education
. Grasp the scale
Like the above mentioned children need to take a break from school to play games. Parents do not need to really give their children a break from school. They can take a week off first and use games to "torture" him. When he gets a lesson from it, they can arrange to go to school again. This will not only meet the requirements of the children and achieve the purpose of education.
Like a child who has to wear a skirt to go out in the middle of winter, it is okay to let the child feel it. What parents are worried about is that the child is sick. Even if he is really sick, the child knows that this is the consequence of doing something wrong and bear it himself. After all, it is the child who has a cold and fever.
Before reverse education, parents need to grasp the consequences of this "punishment" and let things go within a controllable range, so that they can not only meet the requirements of their children but also achieve the purpose of education.
. Don’t Cold War
Our reverse education purpose is to let children feel that this is not reliable when they do what they “like” and let them know that they have done something wrong. But in this process, parents should not be shameless and should not be cold-war with their children.
Use the example of children playing games. In addition to the agreed time for playing games, family members can get along with each other at other times.
The process of "punishment" should not be used to attack or mock children with some words. This will arouse their rebelliousness. Only by immersing him in it can he feel from the bottom of his heart whether this matter is reliable and whether it is worth it for the price of not going to school.
. When you say it, you will do it
Many parents will say to their children when they are angry, "If you do this again, I won't want you anymore", "If you are so naughty, I won't buy toys for you", but every time they break their promises after less than a while of speaking.
The child is not stupid. After trying it a few times, they will know that you are scaring him. If you say this next time, he will not be afraid.
When a child is naughty or does something wrong, we should not rush out some meaningless "punishment". The punishment you say must be something you can say and do and execute to the end, so that the child knows that he will bear the consequences after doing something wrong, and he will not dare to make it again next time.
Continue to use the example of playing games. I believe that letting your child play games at home a week and play for 16 hours a day. Although many parents can say it, they may not be able to do it.
can only achieve results if strictly enforced. Therefore, parents are asked to think about whether you can do what you said before punishing or educating your children.
. Set an example
The bad habits of children may be learned from their parents. So if you don’t want your children to do this, first reflect on whether you have these bad habits. If you have them, then set an example and correct them with your children. When your children see your changes, they believe they will become better with you.
Summary
Reverse education is not bad, but you need to stop at the right time and grasp the standard. There are some detours that we cannot take for our children, so it is better for them to experience them personally. We just need to be with them and leave the rest to the children to experience them themselves.
