All parents in the world have the desire to "hope their children to become dragons and girls to become phoenixes". They hope that their children not only have excellent academic performance, but also have various excellent qualities. The family is the first classroom for children, and parents are the first teachers of their children. To cultivate excellent children, the children's family education is very important.
Chinese famous educator Gu Mingyuan once said: "The biggest difference between family education and school education is that there are no textbooks or classrooms in family education. Its educational power lies in the role of parents' role models." Parents' personality, thinking, three views, and behavioral habits will continue to influence their children and eventually become the comprehensive personality traits of children. Those children who perform well and have a promising future will also have excellent traits.
Countless examples in life tell us: behind educated children are well-educated parents, and behind naughty children are unqualified parents. Parents are the children's first teachers. Different parents have different impacts on their children and the results are different. Visionary parents pay attention to their words and deeds, set an example for their children in everything, educate and influence their children's growth with their own practical actions.
At present, most families in China have mothers who take on the role of the main parenting of their children. From birth to preschool age, it is a critical period for children to develop their character and habits. Children of this age group spend most of their time with their mothers. Mothers should worry more about their children's education issues than their fathers, and mothers play a crucial role in their children's growth.
British poet George Herbert said, "A good mother is worth a hundred teachers." Expert research shows that: What kind of person is a mother? 70% of the child's genes will be like mothers. Most mothers who can cultivate excellent, confident and sunny children, and can establish intimate and loving harmonious relationships with their children have the following six qualities. Moms might as well take a look at what they have?
1. "Sweet-mouthed" mother: good at affirming children's tiny progress and encouraging children to do better.
The deepest need of human nature is the desire to be appreciated and praised by others, especially young children, who often believe in their mothers' words. Mother’s encouragement can give children courage and self-confidence, and face setbacks and difficulties more bravely; while negative criticism can only make children discouraged, give up on themselves, give up, and lose their grades. At the same time, alienate the parent-child relationship, making children more and more rebellious.
The growth of a child is inseparable from the mother's appreciation and encouragement. A "sweet-mouthed" mother is good at discovering and affirming the children's slight progress, giving them timely praises, and giving them timely comforting them when they encounter difficulties and setbacks, encouraging them to see more of their strengths, and giving them the most sincere encouragement the next time they make small progress.
my country's outstanding swimmer Fu Yuanhui said in a post-match interview that a large part of her success depends on her mother's encouragement to her. Whenever she encounters difficulties and wants to give up, her mother will say to her: "You can do it, you are the best." This sentence has a profound impact on her life. It can be said that her ability to achieve such excellent results is largely due to this sentence. This shows how important it is for a mother who knows how to encourage her child to grow up. Therefore, giving encouragement to children at appropriate times can make it easier for children to succeed.
2. "Big Heart" mother: Don't be anxious, allow children to grow freely at their own pace and methods.
" Chinese Mothers' Anxiety Index Report " shows that "child health" and "child education" are the two most anxious issues in families. I am worried that my child will not be motivated in his studies, and I am afraid that he will not be able to compete with others in the future... Anything related to children, when most mothers are like mountains that make their mothers breathless.
However, the more anxious the mother is, the more likely the child has problems. Nowadays, many children with psychological disorders are mostly related to high-pressure and anxious tutoring environments.No child will feel relaxed under the ubiquitous "care" of his mother, and he will only feel suffocated.
Only mothers are more ambitious, turn a blind eye to some things and be calm and calm, so that children have the opportunity to grow up step by step according to their own pace. A mother with a "big heart" is her child's treasure. She allows children to have their own time zone and grow freely in the right way.
3. Mothers who know how to "show weakness": collect their wings and give their children a chance to show themselves.
Nowadays, moms can be said to be able to go to the hall, play the kitchen, tell stories, make beautiful soup, hold baby, understand piano and chess, earn tuition, and think about creativity! It's simply the incarnation of Superman + Iron Man + Ultraman + Dabai.
However, countless family cases show that the better and stronger the mother, the more children will become more dependent on their parents and cannot be independent. "Showing weakness" to children in a timely manner can not only stimulate the positive strength in their hearts and let the children learn more skills, but also promote parent-child relationships and cultivate their sense of responsibility. More importantly, showing weakness to children can rejuvenate the simplest feelings in their hearts - love and gratitude.
High-level "showing weakness" is not "really weak" or "really incompetent", but mothers gather their wings and use "please help me" instead of "I help you", giving children the opportunity to show themselves.
Children reach a certain age and desire independence and hope that they can help adults. This will make them feel particularly proud and feel that they are their mother’s little helper. Therefore, mothers might as well try to "show weakness" in life and ask their children to help themselves more, which will make them feel that they are needed, thereby stimulating their sense of responsibility, care for and protecting others. "Showing weakness" in decision-making and giving children a certain right to choose will not only awaken their instincts to take the initiative and independence, and exercise their ability to think and judge independently, but will also improve their participation, thereby creating a more warm family atmosphere.
4. "Lag" mother: refuses to "take care of it", and "let go" when it should be "let go".
Some people say that "Chinese mother" is the most tiring mother in the world. We not only need to take care of our children's diet and daily life, but also worry about our children's safety, but also worry about our children's studies. In the morning, he prepared breakfast for his child, urged him to get up, helped him tidy up his schoolbag, and sent him to school; in the afternoon, he picked him up, accompanied him to study, check his homework, and tutor his homework... Mothers should take all the things of the child, thinking that he would be more diligent and relaxed, and that he would be considerate of his mother's efforts and sacrifices when he grew up.
However, mothers are busy with their children and exhausted, but in many cases, children do not take their mother's diligence and still do their own things, is naughty and playful, and their grades have not improved. They are exhausted. The children's grades cannot be proportional to the labor they have put in.
The root cause lies in the "diligent" self. The "all-round nanny"-style mother is not only tired, but also not good for the growth of children. Mothers take care of everything, and do everything for their children regardless of big or small things. The children lack opportunities for exercise, have poor self-care ability, and are very dependent on their mothers and lack independent opinions.
Because the mother is too hardworking, she develops the child's laziness. If a mother pays too much attention to her child’s learning, the child becomes irresponsible and self-conscious, and his learning goals are unclear. He thinks that he is learned for adults and becomes dependent on adults.
children who are used to being cared for and taken care of are not only not able to know how to repay kindness, but also feel that everything mothers do is right. In real life, the more capable the mother is, the more likely she is to raise "lazy children" and "obscene wolf". On the contrary, the mother is a little lazy, so that the child can become "diligent" and become sensible and capable.
In fact, when educating children, mothers do not need to be too "responsible". They should "take it aside" properly. When they should "let go", they should "let go" and let it go. Let it do the child's affairs by themselves to exercise their own self-care ability and sense of responsibility. After the child completes the matter, his inner sense of accomplishment is satisfied, which is also one of the sources of his self-confidence.
5. "Mom": Mom "study hard" and children "improve every day".
If a mother wants to cultivate a good child to become a great child, it requires a lot of wisdom, such as gentleness, kindness, rationality, correct values, etc. (There are very few people who are nearly perfect, and the more they occupy, the more they are beneficial to the child’s education), and the most important thing is that mothers must have an ambitious heart and constantly learn from themselves.
If the mother has continuous learning and continuous improvement of her own awareness, such as reading books frequently and enriching herself, then these habits of parents will also deeply affect the child. Under the influence of the mother, the child will also gain good habits to constantly enrich himself and thus grow into an excellent person.
There is a mother who raised her three children alone after divorce. In order to give her children the life and education they deserve, she worked three jobs a day and tried her best to find various opportunities to earn extra money. At the same time, she did not forget to study and insisted on pursuing her doctorate degree in school. Although the whole process is hard and difficult, her hard work, motivation and seriousness set a good example for her children. This powerful woman is the world's richest man Eron Musk 's mother Meyer Musk .
Eron repeatedly stated in public that his success cannot be separated from his mother's influence. It is the mother's conscientiousness, tenacity, self-improvement that allows children to see the power of role models and learn from them in a good way.
Host Dong Qing said: "What kind of person do you want your child to be? It's very simple, just be what kind of person you want to be." In Dong Qing's opinion, as a mother, you cannot give up your growth opportunities because of your child. Therefore, only mothers who work hard and make continuous progress can be able to cultivate excellent children.
6: "Love yourself" mother: Less "sacrifice", treat yourself kindly, and be yourself wonderfully.
has a soul question, which has caused countless mothers to think deeply: "If mothers don't even love themselves, how can they talk about loving their children?"
writer Su Qin said: "All the anxiety and hostility in women are treated unfairly." Many mothers always feel that after having children, everything should be centered on the child and everything should be given priority. Sacrifice for the child, devote all his time, energy, and feelings to the child, and live for him is the current situation of some Chinese mothers.
If you give up on yourself just to be a "great mother". All your pursuits and focus will continue to tilt towards your children, and your life will gradually lose balance. The anxiety and hostility of treating yourself badly and sacrificing yourself cannot be exchanged for the respect and understanding of the child, but instead makes the child feel stressed: Mother is so angry and anxious, it is all my problem. Therefore, a truly good mother is to learn to care for herself first.
Xiao S once said, "I think being a good mother does not mean giving up on yourself completely. We can love our children while loving ourselves. Dressing ourselves up beautifully does not mean being superficial, and you don't have to feel guilty when you make yourself happy. When you really make yourself happy, you will find that your relatives and family, and the world around you, have not become bad because of your "selfishness". On the contrary, because you have lived well, they have also shared your happiness, happiness and success; what you can give to your family and the world will be more."
Love is a kind of release. Only when mothers love themselves from the bottom of their hearts can they release their love to their children from the inside out and teach them the ability to "how to love". Learning to love is the most important happiness force in a child's life.
Many mothers believe that educating their children means "teaching" them a lot of things. But in fact, the best education for mothers to live their own lives is to teach their children. Only when a mother lives well can the child personally sense the power of love in her mother, take her mother as an example, face the world bravely, and be the true self.
There is a saying that reveals the true meaning of education: Excellent children are not miracles that emerge from nowhere, and there are traces behind them. And this trace is the parents behind the child. They are the roots of the child and the soil for cultivating the child's growth.
Educating children is not an easy task, and mothers have a particularly heavy responsibility. Most mothers who can cultivate excellent children have the above 6 qualities. Come and see how many of them do you have?
If parents want to educate their children well, they must not only teach by example, but also raise children scientifically and be responsible parents. If you want to know more about parenting, please follow me. If this article is helpful to you, please share it with more people.
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