Neighbor sister said that she took her child to play in the square two days ago. Her child was playing with other children and had a dispute over toys. Unexpectedly, the other mother not only cursed the child, but she didn't let her go, and kept belittling them and their mother and son, and finally called the police.
Neighbor's sister said that her child had been playing with this child for a long time. Before, his father and grandmother took a lot of it, and they played well. His mother occasionally was there and she was always quite cold. Unexpectedly, she was like a shrew, chasing them and their son, and she looked arrogant.
After listening to my neighbor's sister, I also took a breath. People who are full of malicious intentions towards others are actually not uncommon in life.
What should we do with these malicious people?
The book "Life Troubles Consulting Room" points out that when others show malicious intentions to you, avoiding is the best way to do so.
The author of this book, Kazuze Shiyuan, is a psychiatrist and writer. It took three years to create this super practical self-healing guide.
. "The person who maliciously attacks you" is actually a weak person
That day, when my neighbor's sister talked to me, she couldn't help crying, not understanding why that mother had to treat her like this, and she didn't offend her.
In fact, those who maliciously attack us have a strong "lower self-esteem" and they need to confirm and maintain their sense of superiority by constantly belittle others.
htmlIn June, child star Shao Yibu jumped off the building and committed suicide because of school violence, and the reason was that she was so outstanding that she was jealous.
So, this is the true face of people who show malicious intentions to us. The reason why they attack us is actually the weak people who are full of inferiority complex and "superiority complex".
If you confront such a person head-on, it is equivalent to joining a low-level war and being pulled to the same level as the loser.
So, the best choice is not to confront them head-on and ignore their attacks and provocations.
. Smartly deal with people full of maliciousness
Blogger Peanut Hua Republic shared a story about her daughter being maliciously attacked.
That day, she went to pick up her daughter's art class. Her daughter held the work she completed in the class, and suddenly a child said to her daughter, "You cat is so strange."
Her daughter returned: I don’t think so, I’m sorry, it bothers you.
The child’s reply is really great.
People who like to maliciously attack others are all people who get pleasure from the pain of others who commit crimes. The more painful, sad, and depressed we are, the happier they are. Therefore, they will attack and belittle them even more violently.
So, when you meet such a person, we can choose:
- Avoid
For people with a "sense of superiority", "self-esteem" is very important. Once we expose his true face, he will fight back frantically to maintain his dignity, so just refute without words and ignore them.
- Distinguish between using avoidance terms
When using avoidance terms, when facing different people, you need to use different needs.
If you don’t want to have any contact with the other person, you can use the poisonous tongue to avoid words, such as “So what?” Remember to say it in a cold tone, and the other person will shut up obediently.
However, it is not appropriate to say this when facing superiors and elders. At this time, you can choose "serious and polite avoidance terms".
For example, with a smile, I said, "Thank you very much for your suggestions" or "That's really great". Of course, I just said it, I don't really want to do that.
- Adjust praise
Attribute to people who are not suitable for using avoidance terms, the tactic of "appropriate praise" can be adopted.
People with superior complex want to be superior, so they can feel satisfied as long as they cater to their sense of superiority.
If you use "anger" and "disgust" to respond to the negative attacks of people with superior complexes, it will only cause you to fall into a war with the other party.
So, we must deal with it calmly. Use "magnificent" and "really you" to cleverly praise the other person so that the other person can be psychologically satisfied. Maybe the other party will also have a good impression of you.
- Turn the object you hate into your own friends
There is a "Benjamin Franklin effect" in psychology, which means that when human behavior and emotions conflict, the two will become consistent psychologically, that is, humans will like the people they have helped.
When you meet someone you hate, you do not choose to escape, but boldly seek help from the other party, such as "Can you ask you about xx? You are the person who knows this problem best in our department."
As the saying goes, multiple friends have multiple paths.
If you are willing, turning your enemies into friends is also a very good choice.
3. The real reason for your attack
Someone asked on Zhihu: My colleagues always think that I am easy to bully and always attack me with language. I really want to fight back. Considering that I will work together in the future, I don’t want to make a fuss, what should I do?
very much agrees with one of the answers that have given a lot of likes, and you must be self-reliant.
Yes.
When you are considered to be "easy to defeat" or "threatening", you will be attacked. People who are "absolutely invincible" or "uncontrolled" will not be attacked.
In other words, it is "you were underestimated".
Just like Huang Bo once said that before becoming famous, there were bad people around you, and after becoming famous, there were good people around you.
So, working hard to improve yourself is the best fight back for those who are full of malicious intentions.
