After dinner, I took the children downstairs to play. At the beginning, there was only one little brother there, and the two of them had a good time. Unexpectedly, four or five older children joined in a while. These older children quickly played with the original little brother, and the children became lonely. It can be seen that he wanted to join very much, so he made a great sacrifice. He dedicated his toys and placed himself in a subordinate position. But the other party was obviously not interested in his low posture. They took the toys and ran and played with them, not having any intention of taking him. The child followed behind and forced a smile, and occasionally interjected a sentence, it seemed like he was relieved. Until the end of the show, he was always in a state of catching up without any participation. He returned to me and pressed his sweat-covered forehead on me, his tone inevitably feeling lost and frustrated.
This reminds me of what a netizen told us a few days ago about her childhood experience. Because of the funeral business at home, a naughty boy in the class spread rumors everywhere, saying that her family is in a deadly business and that playing with her will bring bad luck. So, all the classmates ignored her. Although she also felt lonely, she did not please her like a child, but sat quietly in her seat. If you don’t play, you will read books alone, if you don’t have a partner to get out of school and walk alone, and no one is as familiar with the scenery on the road. Later, she had outstanding grades and good discipline, so she was loved by teachers of various subjects. The classmate occasionally asked her to have a problem with her attitude and was not low-key, and she was very careful, and she gradually became a goddess-level figure in the class.
The same situation, two different attitudes, the results are very different.
We often say that a forced melon is not sweet. Even if I chew it hard, only I know the sourness of the mouth.
Why bother?
If you bloom, the butterflies will come.
the lower the heavier, the more you give up yourself, the more you try your best, the worse the result may be.
The so-called licking dog, licking it until it ends up with nothing, probably this is the situation.
In the work "Cherry Shrimp", a Korean bestseller, Kim Do-hyun, also encountered such a thing. She longs for friendship and wants to integrate into that small group. In order not to be isolated, she also put aside her preferences and catered to others in a low manner. But this is too tiring. Even if you get rid of loneliness, you can't make yourself happy and even make your emotions worse.
Fortunately, she has not been addicted to this situation all the time, and she has found true friendship. There is no need to be overly enthusiastic, nor to be completely ignored, there is no need to rack your brain to cater to you, nor to suppress your own ideas to deal with it. The benign circle of friendship made her regain happiness, and that relaxed and comfortable feeling finally rescued her from the suffocation under the water.
Don't try to be a boat at the airport, choose a comfortable circle, and live a happy life.
