Hello everyone, I am Hu Junli.
Family education entrepreneur who accompanys mothers to raise their children scientifically.
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Learning notes come from: books, official accounts, Zhihu, Weibo, paid communities, group chats, circle of friends, etc., which do not represent personal opinions, and do not know the original source, so most of them do not indicate where they are excerpted and deleted if they are infringed.
This is the 323rd study notes: A person’s poor math may be suppressed by suppressing his math ability
The following is the main text of the study notes.
1, children's rebellion
I don't know who invented the word "reverse psychology", but one thing is certain that among all the professional terms about the psychology of adolescent children, this word is used one of the most frequently, if not the most frequently.
However, this word is not a good word.
Because it points the causes and responsibilities of the conflict to the party to the conflict. The word
has almost the same meaning as "rebellious psychology".
Only when you stand completely on the standpoint of the ruler will you think that the rebels are wrong.
But the fact is that the ruler does too much and the people rebel.
In this sense, the ruler is the conspirator of the rebels.
Mao Zedong said: Wherever there is oppression, there is resistance.
This sentence is also suitable for the relationship between parents and children: the more control the parents have, the stronger the children’s rebellious mentality.
So we can say that The rebellious psychology of children appears in pairs with the rebellious psychology of parents.
In all conflicts, it is often the case that one party in the conflict completely pushes the responsibility to the other party in the conflict.
The four words "reverse psychology" were almost invented for this purpose.
As children develop physically and mentally and their knowledge increases, their desire to be independent is becoming stronger and stronger.
For this requirement, it is often the case that parents are not mentally prepared enough.
Some psychologists even believe that the condition of a good parent is to be able to tolerate the feeling of being abandoned by the child's growth.
In any sense, the growth of a child means getting further and further away from his parents.
As an example.
When children are four or five years old, they often regard kindergarten teachers and classmates as more important than their parents. What teachers and classmates say is considered an "executive order", and what parents say is often regarded as a wind in their ears.
Healthy parents will be happy that their children do this because this is a manifestation of their children's growth and socialization.
And unhealthy parents will think that their children are ungrateful and ungrateful.
Then various obstacles will be set up to stop children from "abandoning" themselves.
believes that children's "rebellion" is a specific manifestation of shirking their own responsibilities, putting a hat on their children, and suppressing them.
- Excerpted from "Fantasy is Reality"
2, the child's procrastination is silent protest
If parents are anxious, no matter what the child does, they will not be able to resist various urgings.
And when the child does something, he will frequently intervene because a certain detail is not satisfactory.
Even if the child explains clearly and repeatedly reminds him, he will continue to interrupt when he does it.
The result is: the child is becoming more and more indifferent, and he is becoming more and more numb, and he dares not do anything.
When the child has no feedback, or the feedback is not as expected, the parents will not only be anxious but also extremely angry.
Because The child's procrastination, giving up and not feedback is a silent protest in itself.
It will further demonstrate the powerlessness of parents.
As parents, what is really angry is not the children, but the powerlessness in the face of their own anxiety.
3, self-suppression
A person’s poor mathematics may not be due to intellectual problems.
It is because he has a problem with his relationship with mathematics, or his relationship with the math teacher, or he has applied a certain defense mechanism to suppress his math ability.
Maybe a simple mathematical addition and subtraction method is equivalent to breaking through some taboo that cannot be broken, so he turned off his mathematical function.
- Excerpted from "Overdefense"
Similarly, a person is at a clear disadvantage in a certain aspect, which may be because he suppresses his abilities in this aspect.
