Original Zhao Bao A weekly gossip show 2022-11-22 15:50 Published in Jiangsu
mentioned Kong Rong , this person is well-known because he made Li, and at the age of four, he became a model of Chinese morality and also made him a role model for many parents to educate children. A small matter of giving up pears has made Kong Rong circulate on the bottom line of Chinese morality for so many years. Once something is brought with moral kidnapping , this matter will inevitably make people wonder. Therefore, Kong Rong, the , has a bit more mysterious interpretation.
If you want to analyze the story of Kong Rong releasing Li, you must first look at Kong Rong when he was a child. His father had seven children. He ranked sixth, with five brothers above and a younger brother below. It is not surprising that the family of seven children is in Eastern Han . Under such conditions, the living conditions of this family can be imagined. Let’s not talk about Kong Rong when he grew up, let’s talk about Kong Rong when he was four years old. Let’s analyze carefully why Kong Rong took the youngest pear?
1. Kong Rong, who is pleased with personality, has many children at home, and , and the living conditions of the Han Dynasty at that time, so it is difficult for parents to give more love to such children. Think about him, who is ranked sixth, if he wants to gain the favor of his parents among the seven brothers, he must be a good child to share the love of his parents. In reality, such children are called "pleasant" children.
Kong Rong's behavior is a typical "pleasant personality". The behavioral characteristics of this type of person are generally manifested in that everything is based on the needs of others. In order to meet the needs of others and gain the favor or respect of others, you can ignore the principles and bottom lines, ignore your own feelings, begging for all, and dare not express and express your true side and thoughts. Jacques Mason, a senior British psychological counselor and therapist, calls the pleasing personality a "lovely curse". As parents, when they find that their children have formed a pleasing personality, how can they help them get rid of this unhealthy psychological state and behavioral pattern?
A family like Kong Rong, negative and inappropriate growth environment has enabled children to form a flattering personality, which is essentially "low self-esteem". Such children have negative views on their own qualities and values, are more inferior, are afraid of conflicts and disappointments, are unable to bear sadness, often feel wronged, and unconditionally meet the needs of others. Once they grow up, they will make others feel that they are arrogant and will only be able to listen to other people's flattery. Once someone rebells, they will kill quickly. Kong Rong's actions when he is in a high position prove this.
People with flattering personalities often live in the cage they construct and are always very entangled. Over time, they will lose themselves, their interpersonal relationships will become deformed, fragile, and even prone to psychological illness. There are still many such children around me. They always live without self-centeredness and are always centered on the view and evaluation of others. In the long run, this mentality will always be unfavorable to their growth. They are still young and lack the ability to distinguish themselves. After forming a pleasing personality, they may not know that they are in trouble, and they do not know how to get rid of this unhealthy state, so they must pay attention!
2. Kong Rong, a selfish personality,
It is said that Kong Rong gave pears because of how excellent Kong Rong's thoughts are. In fact, can we assume that among the pears in front of Kong Rong, only the little pear is good, and other pears are bad. If a four-year-old child has no choice, he will measure, who doesn't know how to get a good one? If so, how should you understand Kong Rong?
I think if Kong Rong is like this, then he is a selfish child. In reality, there are still many such children. They always try to make the long-term goals for their own selfish interests and always tramples their own benefits on harming the interests of others. Such children always have the opportunity to choose, always use the opportunity to make a clever way, and always take advantage of the situation. Especially when the class is working collectively, such children can be seen clearly.
Most of the formation of such a personality is due to the family environment. Either they grow up in a honeypot in the early stage or fall out of favor in the later stage. Another possibility is that the actions of their parents since childhood have been building an image for them. Once you form such a personality, it is difficult to change by relying on education. In the future, you will have no spirit of cooperation, teamwork, responsibility and responsibility in your studies, life and work.
3. The gentle, considerate and opinionated Kong Rong
The reason why Kong Rong can be spread is well-known, I think everyone may have praised him in this personality of his child. As the sixth brother, I know that it is not easy for my parents, so when choosing, I chose the smallest pear without hesitation.
According to our current parents, such children are from other people's homes, good children are from other people's homes, and good parents are from other people's homes. Kong Rong may be such a child. He has been very sensible since childhood and has the maturity of children of the age group that he should have. It is heartbreaking to be sensible.
Children like this are also grateful when they grow up, they are also aware of unity and cooperation, and they will have their own opinions on a major issue and will not follow the trend.
But such children are also the most likely to offend people. Because they have their own opinions, they will not follow the crowd when dealing with people. This can demonstrate their personality, but they will also make too many enemies and let themselves be isolated.
The story of Kong Rong's reincarnation of the lily is just using the Chinese Confucian moral bottom line to guard the filial piety that generations of Chinese people have relished in. Such filial piety has a moral bottom line. Can we add another personality in addition to the three personalities, that is, the nature of children.
4. Kong Rong, the "nature" of "kong
A four-year-old child must have brought great pressure to him when he sees such a big pear. Because he had to consider whether he could finish eating or not, he would be beaten if he couldn't finish eating. In that era of material scarcity, there were so many children in his family. Kong Rong could not think of this, but he would definitely think that if he couldn't finish eating and threw it away, he would definitely be beaten. So he chose the small one and felt that there was no pressure to eat. This is the nature of children.
Another possibility is that Kong Rong doesn’t like eating pears at all, but his parents want their children to supplement their nutrition. Kong Rong couldn’t persuade his parents, so he had to be embarrassed, so he chose the smallest pear, and then there was nothing...
The story of Kong Rong giving pears reminds us of children with different personalities, and also gives us a new understanding of children’s education, right?
