"The root of all human suffering comes from the lack of a sense of boundaries."
In life, many mothers often encounter this situation: they obviously want to help their children, but they just remind them a few more words, which makes their children dislike nagging, especially when adolescent children have a disagreement, conflicts will escalate. Why does this happen? It turns out that this is because children desire to show their independence and vent their venting behaviors that are destroyed by their mothers. From this we can see that the right boundary is the beginning of a good interpersonal relationship.
The appropriate boundaries are based on rich internal resources. This inner spiritual power can help us resist the ups and downs of the outside world. This is the " psychological defense mechanism " proposed by psychology master Freud . French psychologist, psychoanalytic physician, Alan Bracknier, in his book "The Just Right Psychological Boundaries", deeply analyzes 27 common defense mechanisms in psychological research. By analyzing the itself of these behaviors, people can awaken people to change their inner strength, better protect themselves, and gain healthier psychology and self-confidence.
The author pointed out in the book that the ways humans protect themselves in life difficulties can be divided into three categories,
first category: 7 best positive and effective defense mechanisms.
includes humor, positive expectations, seeking help from others, thinking carefully, self-reflection, sublimation, and self-expression.
I remembered that when I left my job and started my business, I was very anxious at the time because I was facing a situation from scratch. Later, after carefully analyzing his career planning, and development, as well as the industry prospects, he resolutely chose to resign. In the early stages of entrepreneurship, I also encountered multiple difficulties such as venue, sales, and student instability. Fortunately, I have always actively expected, full of confidence in the future and myself, and constantly cheered myself up, and finally got on the right track step by step.
If you encounter confusion, confusion and helplessness in life, use these 7 positive defense mechanisms well, you can help us get out of difficulties, move forward actively, and gain happiness and success.
Category 2: Defense mechanism that is silently endured by itself.
Everyone has been lonely and silent, and we often use these defense mechanisms without knowing it, such as depression, escape, emotional isolation, fantasy, self-depreciation, etc. Sometimes, when we face difficulties and emergencies, we will have to distort ourselves to get rid of mental difficulties.
We all yearn to be the worship beloved person we meet and absorb some of the characteristics that attract us in this person. The power that is easiest to learn from role models in adolescents. If we can do a good defensive mechanism for relevant identification, rationalization, replacement, and altruism at this time, then they will have more courage to face contradictions and conflicts in the growth process, achieve better growth, and lay the right direction for life.
Category 3: Defense mechanism composed of 6 edge strategies.
The last method you can use when facing an outbreak or crash situation after failing to enable the first two types of defense mechanisms. These strategies include negative confrontation, venting behavior, degeneration behavior, psychological projection, splitting, etc. They are generally used in extreme cases, such as unbearable bereavement pain. We have no choice but to deny the passing of the loved ones.
The world is changing, we all want to work hard to live better, learn and understand the development of defense mechanisms. Using these defense mechanisms in different life situations can help us build our inner strength, better protect ourselves, avoid excessive and impulsive behaviors, and better live in the present.
