Dabao is a delicate and sensitive child who just entered the kindergarten class in September. Not long ago, she said to me: Mom, when I cry, you have to hug me.
I didn't even think about it, and agreed at once, thinking that this requirement was very simple. As an old mother who loves her children, it is still easy to do it.
result, slap in the face.
Dabao jumped rope downstairs, and I promised to go down to find her after finishing the housework, and then take her to the supermarket.
Maybe she didn't go down, so she called me with her phone watch, but I didn't get it when I was drying clothes on the balcony. She ran home angrily and asked me why I didn't answer her call.
First of all, I empathized with . I expressed my understanding that when she called me, I didn’t answer, she would be a little nervous and scared. My mother didn’t go down, and she would be nervous about what her mother was doing, and even wonder if her mother had already gone to the supermarket and didn’t take her.
She nodded, saying that this is indeed the case.
Then I apologized and explained to her that my mother was doing housework, mopping the floor to dry clothes, and putting her mobile phone in the room to charge. She really didn't hear the phone ringing. She wanted to finish drying these clothes and go down immediately, but she didn't expect she would come back.
After explaining these, Dabao had no intention of accepting them at all. He sat on the mat and started crying, and repeatedly asked: Why don’t you answer the call when I called you?
At first I said patiently that my mother had explained that she did not deliberately not answer the phone, but she did not mean to calm down.
Later, I was going out to the supermarket and asked Dabao to change his shoes and go with me. As a result, she sat on the mat and didn't move. My patience was slowly exhausted. I changed my shoes and prepared to go out, and said loudly: I'm leaving, and I pressed the elevator with the opportunity.
Now Dabao completely collapsed.
ran out to chase me crying and roared loudly: You said that when I cried, you would hold me, but you would not do it.
At this time, I was stunned for a moment. Why did I never answer the phone and hug her when I was crying? Listening to her "earth-shaking" cry, I had done housework for a whole morning, and the frustration I had explained for so long, so I really had no motivation to pick her up.
Later she followed me to the supermarket and cried all the way.
Reflection:
First, if the reason for the child's crying is related to me, then her crying will greatly affect my mood. The crying sound seems to push me directly to the opposite side of her. Even if there is love in my heart, I can't pick her up at that moment;
Second, if the child's crying has nothing to do with me, such as falling down or having a conflict with my sister, it will be much easier to hug her;
Third, once she agrees to the child's affairs, she will remember it very well. If you can't do it, it will leave the child with the impression that he broke his promise;
Based on this, I think it is necessary to talk to Dabao about this topic again.
Later, we reviewed the matter when Dabao was in good condition, and I confessed directly. I promised her to hold her promise when she was crying, but she might not be able to do it.
She immediately asked why?
I told her: Through today's events, I found that I thought about this matter a bit simple. It's not that I can hold you when you cry. Mom is also a human being and has emotions. If you have a conflict with me, I will bend down and hug you immediately. Mom can’t do it, and Mom’s own emotions will also take time to relieve them. But no matter what, mom will love you forever.
I don’t know if she can fully understand it, and later she didn’t worry about this matter anymore.
In short, I always believe that being a real parent is the easiest and long-term way to raise children.
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