text|Home with little bell peppers (original is not easy, please do not plagiarize, please reprint and share in person)
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just saw this question online: Can you accept such a new family? After the
problem, a few items are listed: 1. Living together, there is no problem of moving household registration after getting married, and the woman's household registration is still in her parents' home; 2. Have two children, one with the mother's surname and the other with the father's surname; 3. The children call both parents "grandparents"; 4. They support their parents in their old age, and they have no cross-responsibility. The phenomenon of
is really common in some areas. There are many such cases within the scope of our lives. It is probably the first time that it emerged in the Jiangsu and Zhejiang generation. Because Jiangsu and Zhejiang have a wealthy life, many families with only daughters have favorable conditions. In fact, money is the basics of negotiating conditions. If parents have money, parents have the right to speak for their daughter's marriage and family.
However, this phenomenon may be considered "alternative" in some other areas and is not accepted, such as in some provinces and regions such as Henan and Anhui with traditional concepts. Is it really necessary to change the name of
?
There is a family on the 9th floor of our building. It is a family with strong women and weak men. The family of the woman is rich, so it is very strong. The family of the man is a rural family. Relatively speaking, grandma is much weaker.
This family has a daughter. The daughter always calls her grandma "grandma" and her grandma "grandma" (I am used to calling her grandma. According to the area where this family is located, the name should be grandma or grandma). And this grandma also calls the little girl "granddaughter".
At first, I really thought it was my grandparents, but later my aunt had an operation and could not take care of her granddaughter. When the real grandmother appeared, she realized that it was my grandma and grandpa who followed this small family.
I understand this approach in this family. The woman’s family is relatively strong. I heard from this aunt that they bear most of the burden of her daughter buying a house. It is precisely because of this that the grandparents in this family have no sense of existence.
This grandma publicly said in the community more than once: My granddaughter hates her the most and she doesn’t want her at all (my granddaughter hates her the most). grandma can tell that she is relatively inferior. Although the child's surname follows his father, the child actually only recognizes his grandparents.
Later, after the aunt's health was cured, the child's grandmother returned to the village.
This family has returned to its original state.
I understand this state of this family and the mood of this aunt to change the name. The area where their hometown is located is Anhui, which is more powerful than boys. In order to make up for this mood, they corrected the name.
Those who can really face this problem calmly will not change the name. The change of the name still means that cares about this matter. It is quite common to change the name of
. The most common thing for is to change the name of "grandfather, grandfather" to "grandfather". However, perhaps because the name of "grandfather" is so popular, the child can easily call it.
But I really feel that there is no need to care about this title. Whether to change it or not will actually have no substantial impact.
In my hometown, grandfather is called "Master", mother's father is called "Master", actually sounds the same, so it is normal for grandfather to be called "Master". But if you deliberately try to prove something, the child calls the old man on both sides the same , it is really not necessary.
For children, one more person cares for and one more blessing
There is really no need to bring "war" to their homes, you must be equal. For children, one more person cares for them, the more blessings they have. No matter which party has more money or which party has more effort, the children will keep it in mind. There is no need to always emphasize this in front of the children, or deliberately slander the other party’s elderly, setting a bad example for the children, and causing the children to feel grudges from an early age.
In addition to family members are relatives, friends and strangers. only family members have unconditional love for their children. Whether they are grandparents or grandparents, they are family members who love their children very much. They must argue for a certain concept, so that both parties seem to be in an absolutely equal position. It is really unnecessary.
"Incense" is not that important, raising good children is the key
I remember when we were young, the sense of family was quite important, especially during festivals, a big family would gather together to greet the elderly in the family. In these traditional festivals, only sons and daughters-in-law and family members who extended from this, without daughters, the married girls will also have their own new family group, and they will return to their parents' home on specific festivals.
Based on these customs and habits, families without a son are really stressful.
However, the changes have been really big over the years. From our childhood to the present, has passed for more than twenty years. Now the sense of family is broken. Young people hardly visit each other, and does not visit relatives anymore. There are no more incense and memorial services.
The most common mentality of young people today is to "live the present well". Living one day is a day, and living your own life is the most important .
basically can't see those scenes of suffering in front of the family. young people tighten their state and pay more attention to their own lives and their small family.
In this state, "incense" and "transmitting the family line" have become unimportant. It is precisely because of this background that girls' family status has gradually improved, and they even tend to catch up.
This is a big change and an improvement. So the sooner you give up the concept of "must have a boy" and the sooner you adhere to the concept of "boys and girls are the same" , the easier it is to live a good life and maintain the family.
