The elderly will definitely have large and small family conflicts because the two generations have different parenting concepts. I believe that families with elderly people at home have encountered similar problems.
Mothers have no way to take care of their children because they have to work, so they can only choose to let the elderly help take care of their children. However, the elderly help, and many young people will dislike the elderly 's unscientific way of raising children.
Professor Shen Yifei said: Many families have situations where they need the elderly to help take care of their children, but also dislike the elderly. She herself also suggested that the elderly have formed many bad habits in raising children. What should they do as a mother?
Professor Shen said that because of the elderly helping to take care of the children, many of us mothers have the time and energy to devote ourselves to our work. This not only solves the problem of survival, but also enhances women's self-worth.
Since we have this advantage, why not seize it? At the same time, I don’t want my mother to carry the banner of parenting alone.
cooperative parenting
80's generation basically relies on the help of the elderly in . Bao Dad makes money alone and can't support the whole family at all, and he doesn't want to use a nanny. When the mother goes out to work, there will be a time conflict between the time she goes to and from school when she goes to and from work and picks up her kids to and from school.
90% of families born in the 1980s rely on the help of the elderly when it comes to raising children. Therefore, in the concept of cooperative parenting , we should learn to be grateful to the elderly. It is precisely with the help of parents that the pressure on young people is relieved and there is better room for development.
In the past, the elderly took care of their children and liked to feed them to their children after chewing the food. Now that they have the scientific concept of parenting, this phenomenon has basically disappeared.
In the elderly, they also have some unique parenting experience. We always advocate scientific parenting and label the elderly who are traditional parenting with the label " does nothing right ". We should believe that the elderly love their children very much, and they don’t love their children so much. " Relative " The old man's love for his grandson and grandson is not beyond words.
A grandfather said that when he was a child, he rarely held his children in his arms. After his grandson was born, he held him and carried him all day long, treating him as his treasure 's heart .
may be when I was young, I didn’t know how to take care of my children, and I was busy with work and life, and I didn’t have so much time and energy. Now I am retired and have a carefree life. Naturally, I like to hold my grandson high above my head. That kind of love is something that others cannot feel.
clarifies the rights and responsibilities
Professor Shen said that although he is an parenting expert , his child's eating problem has always been left to his mother. My son was still being fed when he was eight or nine years old, because since he gave the child to the elderly, as a mother, he could not say too much. The elderly feed the child, and she did not participate in .
If a young person hand over the task of parenting to the elderly at home, this matter must be under his control and must clarify the rights and responsibilities.
Because the old man is not feeding the child the whole time, as the baby said herself, grandma is always like this. No matter how much I eat, she always feels that putting a few bites in the end is the reason to gain weight.
Of course, mothers know that these two bites are not necessary. The elderly are like this. They often worry that their children are cold or hungry, and they will always give their children too much food in terms of their diet.
But since the child has been handed over to the mother for care, cannot interfere with too much , because too much participation interferes with the authority of the elderly. Grandma has no authority in front of her children. Her management of her children may be more strict or infinite pampering. Both methods are not beneficial to the growth of her children.
So you can only clarify your responsibilities and hand over the child to the elderly. really can’t stand the elderly’s parenting methods, so they can get the rights back, and bear this responsibility by themselves . There is no such easy thing in this world, since I have left the job of parenting to the elderly.Then they have to take care of the children, and the elderly have their own rights. As for whether it is reasonable or not, it depends entirely on how parents themselves define it.
High-quality companionship
Many parents say that their children have been in the countryside since childhood and their grandparents have grown up. The elderly are very sloppy in their clothes and their hygiene habits are not good, but don’t rush to change them. Because in the eyes of children, grandparents are their favorite . When the baby returns to the city and reaches his parents, you cannot tell the child that the grandparents you like are wrong here or there.
can only slowly improve this relationship and affect the child 's influence on . Parents give their children high-quality company, and in the end, the children will still be with their parents, because no matter how close they are to the elderly, they will find that their mother is the one who understands me the most when they grow up. Mom should make good use of the resources around and not carry the banner of parenting alone.
research found that : Most parents’ companionship has no positive effect, and mothers should give their children high-quality companionship. The entire family and even society should realize that parenting is not just a matter for the mother. We should let our grandparents and grandparents participate in parenting, so that we can have the opportunity to go out to work as mothers.
Conclusion:
Parents can reach a consensus with the elderly in advance, such as not to spoil their children too much, both parties should communicate more, reach consensus concepts, and use scientific parenting methods. The conflicts between the two generations are basically for the children. The problem arises because the communication and communication are not done in advance, which will lead to conflicts. The two should have more understanding so that conflicts can be reduced and a way to educate children to accept them together. understand each other , and parenting in health science.
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