Children's stubbornness is a headache for many parents. Children's stubbornness usually starts at around the age of two. When a child begins to have the concept of "I myself" and even shouts "I jizz (my myself)" all day long, we may fall into chaos: feeding the child, he will grab the spoon, bowl, and chopsticks, and it will be difficult for you to feed the food into his mouth. If he snatched the tableware in his hand, he would scream, cry, and lose his temper. If he lets him go, he will wave his bowls and chopsticks, attack from all directions, and even throw them on the ground, then shout loudly, asking you to pick them up and continue throwing them. One day he suddenly wanted to wear clothes by himself, but he couldn't wear them. If someone tried to help, he would lose his temper. Facing a little guy who wants to "me chirp" in everything is sometimes a headache. Especially when we don’t have enough time.
However, this confusing stage is very valuable. "I myself" is tantamount to a declaration for children to learn independently. If we make good use of it, we can open the treasure house of children's wisdom and help them develop their independent learning ability. This requires us to pay attention to the signs of "myself" in children and return the right to independent learning to children. Even before this sign of a child is fully revealed, we can create an environment without any trace, so that he can seize opportunities independently.
A mother shared a story with me: When the child is over 1 year old, every time he eats, the mother will quietly put a spoon in front of the child. One day, the child suddenly became interested in the spoon. He picked up the spoon, stabbed it into the small bowl, and tried to scoop up the food in the bowl, but because his hands and eyes were not well coordinated, he always lost. He finally scooped up a little food, and when he stuffed it into his mouth, his spoon touched his nose and the food fell to the ground. When he finally stuffed the spoon into his mouth, the food had long disappeared. However, he still licked the taste of the food on the spoon. Even though this experience seems to be so failed, it greatly encouraged the child. With the encouragement of his mother, he worked hard again and again and never gave up. Finally one day, he learned to use the spoon skillfully.
After the child skillfully used the spoon, the mother put a pair of chopsticks next to his small bowl. At first, the child turned a blind eye to the chopsticks. One day, he suddenly picked up the chopsticks. Of course, this is another difficult process of learning to use tableware. The little guy picked up the chopsticks, slapped it in a bowl and a plate for a long time, and finally made a piece of tomato and egg and stuffed it into his mouth. He succeeded, with a satisfied smile on his face. By the age of two, when most of the children around him were still being chased by parents to feed him, the little guy was able to use chopsticks to enjoy his meal by himself. Of course, mom doesn't have to worry about him not having a good meal.
Seeing this, many friends may be confused. These things seem to be incompatible with independent learning? In fact, the cultivation of many abilities is related to independent learning. Many seemingly inconspicuous activities in daily life are precisely opportunities for children to improve their independent learning ability.
For example, eating is a good opportunity for independent learning. If you start from the time when the child can sit and get things, let him sit at the dining table when it is time to eat, give him a small bowl, put some food in it, and let him try to eat it by himself. This little thing that seems to have no intersection with independent learning can bring him a lot:
★ Let the child eat by himself is to let the child develop the habit of not relying on others. It is difficult for a child who relies on others in everything to develop his independent learning ability.
★When eating, the texture, color, softness, shape and taste of the meal ¡ ¡ They will bring special stimulation to children. These experiences can stimulate children's brain and promote brain development. Isn’t a smart brain the material basis for the development of independent learning ability?
★If the child can successfully stuff the food into his mouth when he eats by himself, he can exercise the fine movements of his little hands.There is a saying that "heart, skillful hand", which shows that skillful hand and soul are related to each other.
★Children can control tableware well and eat freely, and they will feel fulfilled and happy. This sense of accomplishment and pleasure will inspire the child, make him more confident, have a higher sense of self-worth, and are more willing to explore and act. This is also one of the factors that form independent learning ability. On the contrary, a child who can't even take good care of himself will feel more powerless. Especially after entering kindergarten, seeing other friends taking care of themselves better than themselves, this feeling of powerlessness will aggravate, becoming a factor that hinders his studies, triggering a series of chain reactions.
★Children finally learn to use tableware and need to go through a process of trying - failure - summarizing experience and lessons and continuing to try - success. This process seems simple, but in fact it is an excellent opportunity for a child to try to learn independently.
Of course, it may be a challenge for us to enjoy this stage. Especially in the early stages of trying, we will go through a rather chaotic phase. However, we can try to deal with these problems with wisdom, which not only meets the needs of children's independent learning, but also prevents everything from being confused to the point where we cannot tolerate it. For example, when a child becomes interested in his meal, we can put a bib in his pocket to catch those "flies that slip through the net". We can also lay a piece of easy-to-clean plastic cloth or newspaper under his dining chair to reduce the difficulty of cleaning after meals. This chaotic phase will sooner or later pass. The more we give our children the opportunity to learn, the shorter the chaotic period will last. When a child can control his hands independently and his hands and eyes are coordinated, this chaotic scene will naturally disappear. From chaos to order, children will grow up a big step. .
Therefore, in the process of children's growth, all the chaotic stages are meaningful and are worth our time with them.
