Little girl reading books must be deleted if infringement
Loving children is the nature of mothers. If they love the right one, the children will thrive, but if they love the wrong one, it will hinder their growth.
Only by loving your children correctly can children grow up in the future.
Recently, Dabao has been in a bad state when he went to kindergarten. At the beginning, he kept crying because he was not adapting to the new environment. He finally got used to it and stopped crying.
Another encounter with children in the class who have nosebleeds and mouth bleeding due to anger, which may not be much for bold children.
But for sensitive Dabao, it is simply a nightmare. Whenever he comes home from school, he will ask me, mom, I don’t want to vomit blood or have nosebleeds.
I always say, you are not angry yet, you won’t get sick, and you are so good at habits, often drinking more water and eating more vegetables and loving exercise.
won't have it. It's better to finish it, but I continued to ask after a while. It even became a magic wand in the child's heart and could not be removed.
Because the child is afraid, he has to repeat it many times every day. Gradually, I lose my patience and start to become irritable. I even hate the sensitive and timid personality of my children. I thought to myself, it’s okay for other children to read it, so why do my children keep remembering it after reading it?
Even one day when I was coaxing Erbao and Dabao, I showed impatience again.
Dabao repeated this topic while asking me to hug me. I said what to hug me, but I didn’t see my brother was not asleep yet, so how could I sleep with my hug me.
That night, Dabao tossed and turned until 11 o'clock before going to bed, and it was enough to be around 5 o'clock the next day. He repeated this topic when he was about to go to school.
I suddenly got angry and said, I told you, you won’t have it, what are you afraid of every day? You have to learn to forget it.
At such a young age, you can make trouble for yourself. Play with the children at school, the teacher listens carefully to the lectures, and don’t think about anything else.
But when I arrived at school, I cried again, and I felt helpless and distressed. I hated myself for not deleting the fear in my child’s heart.
Parents sometimes feel anxious and irritable, sometimes because they are busy, and sometimes they do not admit that they are incapable of helping their children solve problems.
solid, and will scold the child with impatient and irritable emotions.
When I got home that day, I was alone on the sofa, looking at the parenting book, thinking about the child's incident, and thinking about last year.
The child was afraid that he would also bleed from his back because the teacher was bleeding. He remembered it for almost 2 months. At that time, he had no choice but to contact the teacher.
The teacher explained the situation to the child. Later, because of the teacher's intention and patience towards the child, the child began to become lively and cheerful.
But this time it is the same. I was thinking that there will be many things in the road of children's growth. I can't let others explain it every time. This requires children to face and digest it independently.
Parenting expert said:
On the road of growth, children must let their children experience setbacks and hardships, rather than when setbacks and hardships come, parents will help their children take a detour.
Parents help their children take a detour, which will only make their children more off guard when facing setbacks and hardships in the future.
is like Dabao now. For her, seeing a child bleeding from his nose and mouth is a setback and mental growth and challenge.
After passing through it, it will be another growth, which is tenacity and fear of new things and acceptance of oneself.
When a child has bad emotions, what parents need to do is to accept and tolerate the child's feelings unconditionally and give the child a sense of security.
If I forcefully oppress her, it may become a shadow in her heart and even bring indelible harm to her.
When I figured it out, I didn’t resist the child’s fear as I did at the beginning, but began to try to understand the child’s feelings.
When the child continued to say that he was afraid of bleeding, I told the child calmly that you had never seen him before, so the first time you saw a child bleeding from his nose.
will have fear, which is normal. If your mother hasn't seen her before, she will be afraid of her first time.
accepts and recognizes children's feelings, so that children can understand that they are not alternative.
At the same time, tell children that when it comes to fearful scenes they encounter for the first time, their first reaction is that they will feel afraid.
You can express your fears, prove that you are good at expressing it, and it also shows that you have a sharp observation of things, which is your advantage.
Some children don’t say it, but it doesn’t mean they are not afraid. Some are because they are not good at expressing themselves, so they don’t know how to express their fear.
Finally, you can say it, mom is very happy for you, and thank you for trusting me.
When I finished this, I hugged the child and continued to tell the child that it is normal to be afraid of the scene I have never seen before.
But while you are afraid, you must understand clearly why this happens, such as a child having a nosebleed, is it caused by anger?
Is this child who doesn’t like to drink water or eat vegetables and fruits well, which causes him to get so severely?
If the heat is caused, then we will take precautions in the future, such as sleeping well, eating more vegetables, drinking more water, and exercising more.
These are magic weapons to improve immunity. With high immunity, people will naturally get less sick.
Dabao heard me say this time, and finally said that I was afraid of getting sick.
I said, why are you afraid of getting sick?
Dabao said, I was afraid of staying in the hospital, afraid of getting injections, and afraid of being separated from my mother.
After hearing Dabao say that, I said that everyone will be afraid of getting an injection, but when we are sick, we need an injection, so we must get an injection.
But if we pay attention to our health and strengthen our exercise, we will get less sick.
At the same time, tell Dabao that no matter where you go, your mother will accompany you and your mother will love you forever.
When I finished saying this, the child seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Although he was still scared, I knew that she was slowly letting go.
instead of resisting and resisting like before, but start to accept it slowly.
people resist one thing is nothing more than fear or disgust.
After research, it is found that the more we resist, the more we are more likely to be afraid. Instead, we accept our inner fear and fear.
instead makes it easier to let go of fear. The more you resist, the easier it is to keep it in mind, and the more you accept it, the easier it is to let go.
Simply put, when we generously admit our inner feelings and deficiencies, we will release our inner bad emotions and re-accept and recognize ourselves.
Next, let’s talk about the reasons why children are timid and even sensitive and fragile?
Parents have a bad temper and often shout at their children
In life, many parents in a good mood think that their children are good everywhere, and when they are in a bad mood, they don’t like their children anywhere.
Especially when a child makes a small mistake, he will directly attack the child with words.
In short, when you are in a bad mood, you either roar or roar endlessly. Doing this will cause your children to doubt whether their parents really love them.
Psychological research shows that:
Parents are often angry with children before the age of 6, which will make children form negative and negative personalities, becoming inferior, introverted and fragile.
Otherwise, why did you say that you loved me the day before yesterday? Today I would like to talk to me with such an annoyance. Some parents reflected on it in time and apologized sincerely to their children.
may be better, but some parents know that they are wrong, but they still hold high airs and do not look down on their avatars to apologize.
For a long time, children will become constantly denying themselves and lack a sense of security.
Over-praise children
Over-praise children will make children feel that everything is right. Once they are not praised, they will feel that the mother or teacher doesn’t like me, and finally live in their own self-denial.
is like a big treasure. When I came back today, I told me that she felt that she had done well and made progress, but the teacher never praised her at school.
I first agree with her and tell her that it is indeed a very upsetting thing to not be praised when she does well.
But at the same time, we tell her whether we do things to make ourselves progress and make ourselves happy, if we do things just to wait for others to praise.
Then we will only live in the praise and recognition of others. Once we do not get praise and recognition, we will question ourselves.
Simply put, it means that we hand over happiness to others, rather than mastering the ability to happiness ourselves, I continued to ask.
Do you want to hand over the ability to happiness to others or to master it yourself.
Dabao said that he had mastered it, and I said, that's right. As long as you feel that you have made progress, it's fine. Don't care too much about how others think of you.
In life, don’t praise children blindly, otherwise you will become a habit. If you are not praised, you will become self-doubted and even lose your internal motivation.
At the same time, don’t often praise me for being so smart in life. You are awesome, praise more hard work, seriousness, tenacity, attentiveness, patience, care and attitude.
born is a highly sensitive child
Some children are a naturally highly sensitive child, just like my big baby, she will notice the things around her as soon as possible.
For example, what did this kid say, what did he wear, or what was his teacher's mood today, and his expression was happy or unhappy.
American psychoanalyst Dr. Elaine Allen pointed out:
Highly sensitive people are easily stimulated by the external environment and amplify their own feelings. This is a congenital personality. Among a group of people, fifteen to twenty percent of children have similar situations.
She could even keenly discover the first time. At the beginning, I was also very troubled, but I gradually found that the child has this kind of personality and we cannot change it, so I explored the child's high sensitivity advantages and let the child play to his advantages.
For highly sensitive children, parents must be more patient and tolerant than other children, and allow their children to grow slowly according to their own rules.
Parents often criticize and criticize their children
If parents often criticize and criticize their children and do not recognize them, they will make their children sensitive, timid and insecure.
Philosopher James once said:
The essence of human nature is to desire to appreciate, especially for children. Appreciation can make children grow into towering trees, and belittle them can wither and deformity.
so at the right time, you can encourage your children with growth thinking, so that they feel recognized and trusted in their hearts.
3 parents often take care of it, letting their children experience too little
Some parents love their children and want to eat all the hardships and setbacks for their children, but they don’t know that they will not leave setbacks on the road of their children’s growth.
Even if parents bypass or block their children at the moment, they still have to face it when they grow up, rather than face it later.
It is better to let children face it from an early age. When children are young, when they encounter setbacks and confusions, we can still accompany and guide and encourage children.
makes children's hearts become tenacious and strong, but once the children grow up and form their own thinking patterns, they will easily become depressed and even have a glass heart when facing setbacks.
So, as parents, if you really love your children, let them grow up slowly in their own way. What we can do is give love and a sense of security and the correct way of guidance.
Author introduction:
Tongxi's mother talks about parenting. I am a post-90s mother who loves learning and growth. I like to record myself and children in the way I write, and at the same time use stories to light up life. My wish is to live my life in the way I like.
Little girl reading book must delete if infringement
