Emotional Intelligence is a word that has been mentioned many times in the parenting education level in recent years.
It is undeniable that " emotional intelligence " plays an extremely critical role in our lives and work.
For example, people with high emotional intelligence in have stronger abilities in emotional expression and empathy with , so they can handle interpersonal relationships easily. has more opportunities and success than people with low emotional intelligence.
If you have low emotional intelligence, you will lack the ability to think from the perspective of others, and you will also lack empathy, and you will often cause embarrassment and miss many opportunities.
As Gorman, PhD in Physiology at Harvard University, said:
Whether you can succeed, your IQ only accounts for 20%, while the proportion of emotional intelligence is as high as 80%.
Therefore, many parents nowadays attach great importance to their children's emotional intelligence, and their emotional intelligence can actually be understood in our daily lives.
Children with low emotional intelligence are easily seen through
This time I went back to my hometown to bring my second baby, but I encountered an embarrassing thing, when I was having a dinner with my relatives and friends.
Gay man drinking sits at a table, and women and children sit at a table.
At the dining table, my aunt next door is my cousin's child, Chenchen. My aunt thought that the child would not have enough food if her hands were short, so she asked him considerately what he wanted to eat.
Unexpectedly, Chenchen just finished asking, and lost his temper at his aunt: "Don't care about me!" .
In an instant, the lively dinner suddenly became quiet. My cousin at the other table was so angry that he was so angry that he was so unreasonable that he pulled the silly child and beat him up.
To be honest, children like Chenchen cannot say that they are ignorant of the rules and are rude, but they do not have the ability to empathize and think from the perspective of others. To put it bluntly, they are too low in emotional intelligence.
You can find that children with low emotional intelligence often like to keep some "mantras" on their lips.
Children with low emotional intelligence often say these 3 "mantras"
The famous American psychologist and professor of psychology at Harvard University Daniel Gorman has written a book "Emotional Intelligence" (dominates the US best-selling list for one and a half years)
(A book card has been added here, please go to the Toutiao client to view)
He classified emotional intelligence into the following 5 contents:
- cognitive ability of self-emotion;
- self-emotion management ability;
- abilities to bear frustration;
- abilities to understand other people's emotions;
- abilities to manage interpersonal relationships.
or above can be reflected through a person's dealing with others, words and deeds, because the expression of language can most intuitively see a person's emotional intelligence.
and children with low emotional intelligence like to say these 3 "mantras":
"Don't worry about me"
Emotional intelligence refers not only to how popular you are, but emotional management is also one of emotional intelligence.
A child who is prone to anger and tantrum must have problems in managing his own emotions.
is like Chenchen, who likes to express out-of-control emotions through "anger", and "Don't worry about me" is the most common catchphrase for out-of-control emotions.
In fact, behind this catchphrase is just a way for children to vent their stress when they cannot control their emotions.
But usually this method not only cannot solve the problem, but also often makes the situation worse and worse.
"Don't touch my stuff"
Just now we said that interpersonal relationships and understanding others are key components of "emotional intelligence".
"Willing to share" best reflects these two abilities.
As Daniel Gorman said: "willing to share" is a manifestation of a child's high emotional intelligence and an important factor in forming a child's social personality.
If a child is centered on himself everywhere, takes everything for himself, and ignores other people's feelings, then it will be difficult for a child who has lost interpersonal relationships to be happy.
Children who are "willing to share" can not only gain the favor of others, but more importantly, they can gain inner happiness and warmth.
Mark Twain said:
Sad, you can cook it yourself.If you want to fully experience the taste of joy, someone must share it.
"I am the most powerful in the world"
There was a TV series before, and there was a boy who was arrogant.
Because of his good family background and excellent grades, he doesn't see anyone, and poor students can't enter his social circle.
And when the heroine appears and defeats him, he will only question the other party's "cheating" and still feel that he is "the most powerful person in the world".
If a child dares not face his weakness when encountering difficulties, he will definitely not dare to face failure, and in the end he can only fall into the dilemma of losing one after another.
Facing failure with a good attitude is a manifestation of high emotional intelligence. At least they can face life actively on the road of life.
How can children improve their emotional intelligence?
first, you can't spoil your children.
The biggest problem for spoiled children is that they cannot see the joys and sorrows of others, and naturally they cannot empathize with them. Then there is no need to respect and take into account other people's feelings.
So for parents, the basis for improving their children's emotional intelligence is to avoid doting behaviors.
Only when children can hear different voices and feel different emotions can they make corrections and change.
Second, the child faces his emotions directly.
If a child cannot manage his emotions, he will definitely choose the worst one from the millions of emotional expression methods.
Therefore, parents must teach their children how to vent their emotions.
For example, when a child is depressed, we can have a parent-child communication with the child, or go to the park to run and play happily, and then let the child cry to vent his emotions.
When the child has vented, we will teach the child how to manage his emotions when facing such a situation.
In this way, it teaches children to think about from the perspective of others, and to the greatest extent teaches children how to solve problems correctly, and at the same time, it also improves children's emotional intelligence.
We always say: IQ is the starting point and the upper limit of a person, and emotional intelligence determines a person's end point.
So, do you have anything to say about your child’s emotional intelligence?
If you like it, please like, forward and share. If you want to know more exciting content, come and follow me~
[The picture is from the Internet, if there is any infringement, please contact us to delete]
