text丨Mama Carol
There is a saying that Chicken baby is not as good as chicken.
Is it better to have a chicken or a child? Before I could figure it out, I found that parenting itself is a process that forces parents to grow up themselves. While the chicken baby was still, he accidentally gave himself to the chicken.
For example, I bought a lot of parenting books at the beginning and wanted to experiment on my children. As a result, I first showed myself an epiphany and passionate view. Only then did I understand the true meaning of the sentence "Parents must first change themselves to change their children ].
Today I will introduce some good books that inspired me in different fields. It is very suitable to use it from chicken or "chicken baby " .
1 "Gardener and Carpenter"
Author: Alison Gopnik
Douban: 8.1 points
A popular saying now is called "Parents' pattern determines the future of children], which is a bit abstract, but I'll give you an example and you will understand.
A 6-year-old girl asked her mother: What career do you want me to do in the future?
Mom replied: I hope you can pass the civil service exam like xx and live a stable life.
This is a typical mother's pattern that limits the development of the child.
Why do you say so? The Gardener and the Carpenter explains this issue well.
Author Alison is an internationally recognized leader in children's learning and development research, but I prefer her another identity: the mother of three children and the grandmother of three children.
The span of the times is long enough to allow her to experience generations of changes, and also let her keenly capture that 's ability to adapt to changes is the core ability to enable children to stand in one new, subversive, and rapidly changing world after another.
is actually more than just children, aren’t we adults the same?
China has developed rapidly in recent decades. When studying, I often encounter the most popular major when applying for college applications, but the industry has become cold after graduation. It is not uncommon for the industry I choose when I am a job to start going downhill after a few years...
Knowing how to look at problems from a development perspective, cultivating the ability to adapt to changes and lifelong learning is the best weapon to deal with changes.
If parents cannot recognize this from a thinking level, they will have the above mistakes - when the child is 6 years old, they set a career goal for the civil servant exam for the child.
In addition to this, you can basically find the answers to the worries and worries about your children's future in the book.
book introduces many experiments, and there may be some thresholds to read, but if you read patiently, you will have a clearer answer to the plans you are making now.
At least you will know how long should children play mobile games during the Chinese New Year.
2 "Book of Courage"
Author: Masato Ono
Douban: 7.4 points
A cute book of courage. I wanted to use it as writing material for my son, but it burned me to see it myself.
Every time I experience a failure, I just find that it doesn’t work! If you experience 1,000 failures, you will only find 1,000 ways that don’t work!
looks very chicken soup, right? But when you open the directory and see the "failure" stories of Wright Brothers , Chanel, Freud , Beethoven, Jobs , Einstein , Confucius , and other past "failure" stories, you will involuntarily cook this bowl of chicken soup.
65-year-old Harlan sold KFC fried chicken and was rejected 1,500 times;
Coco Chanel's carefully prepared costume show was once rated as "outdated";
Highly what he is good at, Einstein is not good at anything else...
The book introduces 23 "failure kings" stories. After reading it, you will develop an immunity to various failures, as if failure is the same.
Many parents cannot bear failure themselves and are depressed when encountering some difficulties at work, but they are very good at saying to their children calmly, "Failure is no big deal" and "Man doesn't have to cry". Little do we know that children will only understand the world through our actions, not through language.
A book of courage, teaching children is also to teach adults to truly face failure bravely.
3 "Cultivating a Kid with High Emotional Intelligence"
Author: John Gotman, Joan Declare
Douban: 8.5 points
Don't miss this good book because of your name.
Author John Gotman Professor of psychology at the University of Washington, USA. He has been engaged in family relationship research for 40 years. He is a psychological master as good as Rogers and Jung .
The biggest problem for many parents in parenting is their children's emotions. What should I do if I scream, cry, make a fuss and get angry and beat people?
Most people will associate their children's emotional problems with their parents' solutions.
In fact, children's emotions are mostly determined by the emotions of their parents. If we get angry and lose our temper first instead of solving the problem, then children will not become people who can communicate well as we wish.
If you want to change your child, you still have to start by changing yourself.
In "Cultivating Children with High Emotional Intelligence", parents will first ask them to do a test to understand which type of neglect, repressive, laissez-faire, and emotional management training type they belong to.
Then we gradually disassemble and analyze a large number of cases, telling us how to do better when encountering these situations.
During the reading process, you will be like being in the emotional test of your child after the test, and there are many opportunities for practical combat.
When you make a choice, the book will promptly analyze the pros and cons behind each choice.
Even if you only read half of the book, you will feel that the way you get along with your children has been greatly improved and improved.
4 "The Courage of Being Hate"
Author: Kishimiichiro / Koga Shiken
Douban: 8.61 points
"The Courage of Being Hate" is also known as "The Philosophy Class of Adler, the "Father of Self-Inspiration", and has been in the Top 10 popular psychological books on Douban for many years.
Many people have heard of this book, but what does it have to do with parenting?
Adler 's philosophy course, suitable for all ages.
If adults do not really understand the problem of separation of topics, problems are likely to occur in parent-child relationships, intimate relationships or other social relationships.
"The Courage of Being Hate" is like the roundworm in our belly, breaking down and eating the doubts in your heart bit by bit, and in the end you will become a transparent and clear person.
Only when a transparent parent can one truly be free from anxiety and impatient in parenting, and become a guide for children, rather than a stumbling block.
When I raised my baby with my own "barbaric hand", I had a hundred questions in my mind, who gave birth to this naughty child?
After calming down and reading the book, I realized that good parents and children achieve each other, learn together, change together, and grow together.
